Sunday, February 19, 2017

Invaders At Play Here Today!

Cassie and I were doing our thing, meaning we were resting at our wing. Then they came. It was like some game. They hopped on in. The invasion didn't make us grin.

See? I was resting away.
Enjoying the day.
An ass pillow rest.
Then came the first pest.

Cassie likes him.
She must be dim.
We can't have that.
So says the cat.

He's just rude.
He's not getting my food.
I'll eat every bite.
I'm ready for a fight.

My cat tower too.
No sharing at our zoo.
Wait, what was that?
A bald cat?

Invader number two.
A mutt that is eww.
Stole my ass pillow as well.
This day went to hell.

Trying to claim it.
Can't have that shit.
I'll go bite his tail.
He ran away with a wail.

What has Cassie spotted?
A new foe has been plotted?
She sure wants him.
I think a visit would be grim.

Did you spot number three?
Now he's easy to see.
A visit from him would be fine.
 He'd be a chew toy for the feline.

Could be worse.
Could be this curse.
We keep her away.
We never want to play.

Now excuse the cat.
I'll go back to watching that.
Pat really needs to shut the door.
That will stop intruders forevermore.

Don't you love intruders when they come? Do you kick them out on their bum? That would be nice to do. But we may need opposable thumbs at our zoo. Instead I'll just give them a whack. That will keep them out of my shack. Now I'll go back to squirrel watching with Cass. He won't steal the pillow of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

A Little Tire On The Wire!

The cat has seen it in a comment or ten here at our den. It was admitted too. So they weren't fast readers or confused at my zoo. What is it? I'll say before you get tired and hiss and spit.

Snacking on kids?
That will flip some lids.
Whoops, it was a hen.
I won't report your den.

You peed on Santa Claus?
That sure won't get an applause.
Oh, you watched him pee.
Hmmm that is still a creepy spree.

Dancing in the nude?
That may be rude.
Oh, under a full moon.
And even with a spoon.

You chewed off human fat?
How did you do that?
Oh, the phrase for talking.
I guess I'll go walking.

You bought a girlfriend?
That you may need to amend.
You bought something for her?
Damn, my eyes are beginning to blur.

You are a rhyming dog?
That is a new log.
Oh, you are making fun.
I am now almost done.

You fought the law?
Hit them with a claw?
Oh, you got out of a ticket.
No guns to make any picket.

You are going on vacation?
That brings elation.
You were lying?
Why am I even trying?

You....I'm so screwed.
Can't take it, dude.
I have to get some sleep.
I'm seeing things at my keep.

Tired as can be.
Good night to thee.
You are wishing to be in my bed?
Whoops, that was just in my head.

Ever read things when half asleep and screw them up at your keep? The cat may have done it a time or two but I usually catch myself at my zoo. Then again who needs sleep? Just give a meep meep. Then you'll say nothing wrong, funny or crass. You can trust, probably not, my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 17, 2017

A Full Cart Of Smart!

The cat is good at this and that. Or would it be that and this for the cat? Beats the heck out of me. But there are sure some things you'll never see me good at at my sea.

I'm so great.
A common trait.
A human one.
Always spun.

I can do this.
Ego can't miss.
I can do that.
So full of scat.

Rocket science it is.
That's my biz.
Can't tie a shoe.
Whoops, boo hoo.

I can build a tower.
Can even fix a shower.
Whoops, can't plant a flower.
Now I'll go and cower.

I can write a book.
So great at my nook.
Whoops, I can't get the ball in the hoop.
I was thrown for a loop.

I can sell a car.
I can go far.
Whoops, can't sell clothes.
Damn, that curls my toes.

I can cure your ails.
Maybe pound some nails.
Whoops, can't play cards.
Have trouble mowing yards.

I can fly a plane.
Landing in the right lane.
Whoops, can't drive a train.
That leaves me with a pain.

I can go to space.
Puts a smile on my face.
Whoops, can't public speak.
Now I'm up shit creek.

I can write a blog.
Don't get brain fog.
Whoops, can't draw a lick.
Unless it involves a stick.

Don't you love those humans that think they are great at all? Just because they can do one thing they can do them all at their hall. Now you can get better and learn. But there will always be something that makes you feel the burn. I can't sing like that singing bass. There, I admitted it with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.