Friday, January 31, 2014

What To Use To Printer Abuse!

I always say smash a printer each year. But what to use never gets said by my little rhyming rear. I guess I should rectify that as I have been such a neglectful cat.

Enjoy your winter,
Smash a printer.
Get your exercise,
Hope no one dies.

Grab a bat,
Squash it flat.
Look at that swing,
You could be the next big thing.

Pick up an ax.
Don't pay tax.
Chop the thing to bits,
For being the pits.

A sledge hammer,
Will make things clamor.
With each swing,
You'll hear a ding.

A blow torch,
Could maybe scorch.
But it would need to be hot,
To melt it on the spot.

Could use your feet.
That may be sweet.
Getting all touchy feely at your zoo.
Unless it backfires and a leg breaks off of you.

Get your car,
No need to go far.
You'll save gas,
Making it a flat mass.

For those who are paranoid,
Strap it to an asteroid.
Then no data can be found,
Unless it lands on alien ground.

A chainsaw would be grand.
Chop it as you stand.
Watch your eyes though,
And things down below.

So there you are,
Helped out near and far.
Some simple ways,
To make sure every printer pays!

Smash away, all through the day. Take videos too at your zoo. We all want to see you smash with glee. I guarantee you will enjoy your winter and will not get a splinter.  You can also yell things that are crass as you smash it thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Season Three Is Done! Time For Season Four Under My Sun!

Three full years have come to pass from my little rhyming ass. That is quite the haul with so many rhymes on my wall. And there have been no repeats too here at my zoo. You know how the cat hates repeats. Those can hit the streets. Unless you are Al, then the cat will be a pal.

1000+ posts are done.
I'm under the gun.
1,000,000+ views.
Such old news.

Even a mini me,
Has come to be.
Books galore,
Still at my shore.

Posts every day,
Here for display.
But season three is through.
So now what do I do?

Books are done for the rest of the year.
Yep, each month will have a cheer.
A to Z is done too.
Not slow at my zoo.

Videos in store,
Some to another shore.
Making fun of you?
Yep, that will come too.

But that's all I know,
As I go with the flow.
What comes on in,
Gets written at my bin.

But I will up the four,
With this year's tour.
I mean just have a look,
At its record at your nook.

Indiana Jone 4 blew,
Die Hard 4 was as rotten as an old shoe.
Not as bad as five,
Watching that you're lucky to get out alive.

Police Academy 4 as well,
Anything past one was hell.
That Alien Resurrection thing,
And Terminator 4 I want to fling.

So I will up it with ease.
Hell, I could talk about fleas,
And still beat that crap,
With each rhyming lap.

There we are, plenty to come at my bar, as we travel near and far. The cat may even drive a car. Now on we go with season four where much will take a tour. Say goodbye to season three and come along with me. In season four much more will come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Send Feedback You Quack!

In blogland feedback sure does not lack. There is enough to give a poor sap a heart attack. If they can't take it that is with their feedback biz. Anyway, here, there and everywhere on display, it pops up so you can have your say.

Buy this, do that.
Get done in no time flat.
Ready to move on at your sea.
Wait! Won't you leave feedback for me?

How was our skill?
Did it thrill?
Speaking of thrill,
Did your spouse like the frill?

Did you enjoy your time here?
Was it fear or cheer?
How would you rate us?
Are you on the love us bus?

Did we serve you well?
I hope things didn't go to hell.
Was your order correct?
I hope there was no neglect.

Was the site fast?
Where were you last?
Yeah, we already know,
But still, answer below.

Did all work?
Was it a perk?
Are you happy with shipping?
Will you be double dipping?

Where will you go now?
And if you don't mind, how?
We are just curious is all,
Write it on our wall.

Why did you shop here?
Did you hear it by ear?
Did you hear it from the news?
Please give us a few clues.

We hope you come back.
Have a nice day at your shack.
Thanks for your feedback.
I'm sure it did not lack.

Yippeee!
Now we can stalk thee.
We know all about you.
And you helped us too!

Feedback = stalker galore there at your shore. They take your info and then they know all about your show. Or they just waste your time with their 1-10 chime. I suppose if I wanted to say something crass feedback would be used by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

No dVerse Way Here Today!

You will get ecstatic on this dVerse day. Just wait until you see what I have to say. So many things will run through your head. You will not even be able to go to bed. Yeah, it is that good here in my hood.

Expressions you will use,
When I light this fuse,
Will come far and wide,
From every side.

No way!
You will say,
At your bay,
All through the day.

Are you kidding me?
You'll shout with glee.
Staring at me,
Like a killer bee.

Really?
No, you can't have a feely.
But you may want one,
After this is done.

Get out of town!
You sure won't frown.
It is the best.
It will pass any test.

Holy crap!
Will be shouted across the map.
You will flap,
Unable to shut your yap.

That is sick!
You'll say quite slick.
Not the germ way,
Or I'll kick you from my bay.

You are pulling my leg!
Round hole, square peg.
It can fit,
Just shove it.

Wow!
Take a bow.
You have the shortest retort,
Here at my court.

Are you ready?
The above will come steady,
From all of you,
Today at my zoo.

The cat found lots of money, so much it is not funny. The stuff is in piles everywhere. There has to be thousands I swear. I will have such good luck with enough pennies to make more than a buck. Plus they are out of print up here. I'm going to be a rich rhyming rear. What? Did you just wow at my hut? I know it is great to come to pass for my penny rich little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Can't Give Affection Because They Snip Snipped My Erection!

So the cat still has a grudge as I try and I try and it won't budge. I can't get an erection. It is there in the right section, but that is all it is, there. It might as well be air.

It is stuck,
Just my luck.
Why should you care?
You still have your pair.

So depressed.
I'm not at my best.
I need them back.
Balls I lack.

Damn, snip snip.
I need to give all lip.
But why write it.
I'll make a new hit.

It will star me.
I will get new ones for free.
All will see my plight.
I have no umm bite.

Just a thing in the middle,
I can no longer diddle.
That is just so rude,
Especially since I'm always in the nude.


So there you are. Now it can be heard near and far. The plight of the cat. I got snip snipped at my mat and I can't give affection because I can't get an erection. Such horrors in mass have been done to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

One Side Or Two As The Coin Flew!

So dVerse wants the cat to look at both sides of the coin. First I may need a coin to join. Oh look, there is a face and a bird on it at our nook. Okay, I looked at the thing. Now what at my wing?

Limbs hurt,
Back aches.
                 Body alert,
                 No breaks.

Tad crazy,
Thinks much.
                   Never lazy,
                   Surpasses clutch.

Hate work,
Hate commute.
                    Paycheck perk,
                    Own a suit.

Trust gone,
Thoughts linger.
                     Avoid a con,
                     Jerry Springer.

Lunch sucks,
Stale food.
                 Feed ducks,
                 Diet renewed.

Tire flat,
Cell dead.
              Avoided splat,
              No irradiated head.

Snow ahead,
Super cold.
               Warm bed,
               Lovers hold.

Book delayed,
Movie stopped.
                Anticipation laid,
                Remake flopped.

Internet down,
Computer dead.
                     Visit town,
                     Hear what's said.

Money spent,
Wallet bare.
               Paid rent,
               Junk free lair.

And there we are the opposite side of the coin at my bar. What? Expected me to be mouthy today? I will let you fill in the blanks at your bay. That is the opposite at my sea. See, I can even cause more work for thee. Now my coin flipping has come to pass so I will wiggle off, shaking the opposite side of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Another Conversation Mode That Gives A Load!

So the cat thought it would be fun to once again listen in on everyone. At least as he passed by each day. Then he wrote down the words at his bay. Funny what you hear is you walk by. Someone will surely make you raise an eye.

I have English papers.
What? No French capers?
Did you take your...
That is all I heard of the roar.

Anyone care to guess?
Could be something that leaves him or her in a mess.
Much like the eww eee ahh.
That does make the cat go, bah.

Civilians are not allowed to..
I bet he was going to say use the loo.
I hope you don't get claustrophobic here.
Maybe they gave the closet a cheer?

That is such a pretty ring.
Showing off their bling.
You can't do that to me.
Just did, I suspect, to thee.

Do you know what that asshole did?
I guess they made you flip your lid.
I am so sorry I stepped on your toe.
I bet you are at your show.

I wish they would fall off the roof.
I will avoid you so I don't go poof.
I hate all this pigeon poop.
They are quite the pooping troop.

Do you think it will fit through the door?
I hope it is a door and not a person at your shore.
The killer was some close.
That movie is not about Mickey Mouse.

Are you ready for this?
Do I have to hear more bliss?
Here Kitty Kitty Kitty.
No way, you old bitty.

Maybe we should go to moms?
I bet she will even wipe your bums.
Why won't this stupid bleeping bleep of a bleep work.
To you swearing is really a perk.

It is too hot. You're hot!
Think they are going to do the robot?
I can't imagine why this thing would do that.
It does go up, kinda tit for tat.

Oh where the mind goes as the conversation blows. I just heard it as I walked by. The cat is not a nosy guy. But I will use it at my grass. So don't get overheard by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 24, 2014

No Need To Gripe As I'll Show You Each Type!

Throughout blogland there are many that come to play in your sand. Although some are rather rude, some are a cool dude, some give attitude and some may be a prude. But I'll show each type so you can avoid the hype.

There is the blog lurker.
Even if your post is a tear jerker,
They will not speak.
They lurk and seek.

The blog hyena on the other hand,
Says plenty in your land.
LMAO and LOL on every post,
Makes them deserve burnt toast.

The popularity blogger is great,
To them no one can relate.
They have 999,999,999 friends,
But only get one whole comment from some adult in Depends.

The blog collector,
They sure are not a neglector.
They follow everyone and everything,
Yet never post at their wing.

The hard up blogger.
Who is a comment hogger,
Posting here, there and everywhere,
About Viagra or some other thing at each lair.

The almost non blogger too,
Always has something to chew.
Each and every day,
They post about how they have nothing to say.

The do nothing blogger,
Except maybe play Frogger.
Yet expects the hits,
Even if they are the pits.

The money blogger is on the scene,
With widgets up the wazoo on their screen.
Click, click, click!
They want a new gold brick.

The pain in the ass blogger,
Who is a time clogger.
Captcha this and captcha that,
Making one want to crush them flat.

The eyesight killing blogger is last.
Your eyesight will become a thing of the past.
Big paragraphs with teeny tiny writing,
Plus white on black lighting.

And there we go, in those categories I know you do not show. Unless you are R or some other spammer at my bar. Then there may be no hope for you in this blogland zoo. So there is each blogger class, helping out all with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

A Little Quote To Take Note!

You see them here and there at many a lair. They are all inspirational and such. The below ones, maybe not too much. But the cat had to use, who knows, may spark some dull fuse.


Bad thing to do,
There at your zoo.
Could agree to fly a kite,
Or pretend to be a termite.


Damn, things went down hill.
No wonder the place is in the landfill.
I guess one to many loved that hit,
Take this job and shove it.


Isn't that always the way?
You sit and stare at the display.
What can you do?
Internet is needed at your zoo.


This one is true.
They blabber about you.
But why care?
Let them waste their time at their lair.


The cat likes to be in the gutter.
So some sure may stutter,
If they think like me.
Of course I can convert thee.


Umm run?
Hit them with a hot crossed bun?
Maybe a pot and pan?
Don't trip over the trash can.


Someone is stalking me.
For that is true at our sea.
Online all the time.
Have to make a daily rhyme.


Spread the love,
With a boxing glove.
Sounds like fun.
Run when done.


Sounds good to me.
For my gutter spree.
Let's me keep pace,
With a smile on my face.


See! All better now.
No need to go meow.
Just let your old toys,
Find new joys.

Advice for all comes in all sizes at my hall. The cat just thought he would help you out with a little quote shout. Now you can live for today and let your gutter mind play. I even just let the quotes give the sass. So fun to do for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Light Hearted Fools On The Loose With Worms In Their Caboose?

So back we are with two light hearted nuts at the cat's bar. They had to go out for supplies and then of course the crazies swarm like flies. Who is it this time? Can't you tell by the title chime?

Out for a stroll,
Protection the goal.
Before on their way,
Across the bay.

Along comes a freak.
A second takes a peek.
Becoming quite crazy,
At least they aren't lazy.

They spy the fake representation of the rhyming cat.
Then they really almost scat.
As in crap themselves.
You'd think they saw dancing elves.

But nope, just a fake feline.
I guess it was a bad sign.
Oh no, it could have worms.
They set their terms.

Kill all that get in their way,
From making it a worm free display,
All across the Earth.
I wonder if Terry and Manzantia were twins lost at birth?



So there we are. Worm freaks are now worm food at my sand bar. I guess we went all Lion King in a way with the circle of life on display. And the two nuts continue to sail. They are better off getting their protection through the mail. Another adventure has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Time For A Name To Play A dVerse Game!

So a long time ago, at least when this post will show, dVerse went all Googlism at their sea. It had to be done by me. Now lets see what comes due when I go all Googlism at my zoo.

Orlin is a bit dull to watch.
How rude, want a kick to the crotch?
Orlin is married to scott's sister.
Damn, never play drunk Twister.

Orlin is a frequent visitor of Taiwan and a well.
If Lassie saves me, all has gone to hell.
Orlin is an eleven.
Do I take you to heaven?

Orlin is behind.
Gas of some kind?
Orlin is wrong.
What a ding dong.

Orlin is in charge.
Of all at this barge.
Orlin is a former professor of international finance.
Tell me, do you figure that upon your first glance?

Orlin is a rebel with many causes.
And be damned with the clauses.
Orlin is very good at titles.
I bet I could also take your vitals.

Orlin is another of this race of alien creatures.
Are you wearing your tin foil hat beneath the bleachers?
Orlin is 6 and well behaved.
Wow, bad info, who caved?

Orlin is a good example.
Even when your feet I trample?
Orlin is being considered for a national television show.
Yippppeee, that means I get lots of dough.

Orlin is very young for an elf.
Do you need to go back on the crazy shelf?
Orlin is playing quite a dangerous game here.
Bah, old one eye is nothing to fear.

Orlin is musing on her latest performance piece.
I know I'm snip snip but I'm not like goose to geese.
Orlin is quite right to insist that such an argument would be difficult to make.
And a long time to get your point made you take.

Orlin is a legend in bulgaria.
Damn, and I never even visited the area.
Orlin is holding me here after a big Easter dinner.
You gave me nasty food and are a sinner.

So there we are. The cat is Googlism-ed near and far. Who knew all the stuff I can do? Or did at my zoo. I guess I am just a world renowned cat. Now my ego is getting fat. So I will sail off with my mass and my forever Googlism-ed little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Round Eighteen Comes Due With The Crazy Crew!

Back once more to the crazies that visit my shore. Round and round they come as some talk out their bum. That you shall see as they buzz around like a crazy bee.

"realpeoplerealsex"

Wow, you were in a rush. Did not even use a space, go ahead, mush.

"once upon a time in a far far away rhyme"

A cat started to pass gas and you fell on your ass.

"dick wrapping paper"

Dick York on your paper? Or is it Cheney in some caper.

"crazy bum laughing"

A full moon can laugh you say? Wow, news to me at my bay.

"piles of cash"

Wrong place for such an embrace.

"hairy man boobies"

A fetish I do not want to know about. Never stick your hairy man boobies out.

"oh damn what have i done"

You blinded all by showing your hairy man boobies at my hall.

"i go up and never come down no matter how hard you wish.as i get higher,more wrinkles crawl onto your face.."

Wow, you typed all of that and even some dots. You must enjoy talking to search engines lots.

"she could really go for some dick"

Wow, today is all about Dick. Cheney must be beating all away with a stick.

"nicolas cage rhyme peom"

You can't spell,
That I can tell.
But even with that hair,
You should be aware,
Your movies now suck.
At least the tax man is in luck.

"tides can't carry water or things will turn upside down and.."

And what? You sound like you are in a rut. What do tides carry? Is water that scary?

"Triple play, i scored in her and found a nipple."

Errr ummm errr okay. Have a nice nipple-y day.

And the winner for this round comes from the creepy pound. Looking for poor Pat or they just can't spell hat. I don't want to know what they were looking for when they decided to explore.

"www faking hatt sexy movi dat cam"

I wonder if one will get a thrill or just feel ill if they type that in. I would rather not know at my bin. But if you care to look, go right ahead at your nook. Might be a weirdo rolling naked in the grass, that would just be scary to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Have You Ever To Prove You Are Clever?

So the cat watched the other day as some human did a simple thing at their bay. One that seemed dumb to me as I knew what it did at my sea. But still they did not know, so let's see who else gives them a go.

Have you ever,
To be clever,
Done a little thing,
Like this at your wing.

Walked into a room,
But oh the doom,
You forgot want you wanted,
Walked out, then it taunted?

Tried to prove you were a pro,
Neither high nor low,
Instead you got a middle itch,
Trying to balance between on/off with a light switch?

Open the fridge to get what you want,
Then close like it is a strange haunt,
Only to find out when the light went dark,
So you could know at what mark?

Walk on the street,
To your own beat,
Avoiding a crack,
Afraid to break your mother's back?

In a rush,
You really have to mush,
But instead you hit them all,
Buttons all glow as in the elevator you slowly fall?

Open the door,
But it won't let you explore,
You give it a good knock,
Only to find you forgot to turn the lock?

The day is clear,
The birds you hear,
That thing has to go,
So you chuck it out, rather at, a closed window?

You have to run,
Get out in the sun,
To scurry with the ants,
Oops, you forgot your pants?

I bet all have done one,
Of these the cat has given a run.
Hopefully not the last,
At least not in front of a cast.

So how many have you done? Each and every one? If so I'd avoid you. A danger to all at your zoo. The cat has seen Pat do one or two or maybe three. But he does swing from the crazy tree. But none of this mass has ever been done by my four legged little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Thoughts Of The Day At My Bay!

The cat thought it would be interesting today to jot down random thoughts of Pat as he went about his day. Could be scary I suppose with what flows. But we will keep those away as they should not see the light of day.

Use a blinker jackwipe.
Guess he had a gripe.
He did not even swear.
Guess I just do that at my lair.

Yeah, I'd like to whack you with that book.
Hmmm must have been at the work nook.
A lot can come out there.
Such thoughts are not rare.

If I have to hear the weather report once more, I'm going to throw a stapler at your head.
Wow, Pat can get really get wordy and maybe needs to go back to bed.
How many times are you going to say that?
It was only said once by the cat.

I wonder what she is doing today?
Talking about the weather one on display?
Yeah, hypocritical ass.
Nope, not the only one that gives sass.

No, the sun isn't shining, it's raining.
All these people talking about the weather must be draining.
Just stick that big nose in the air.
Bet they thought they had flair.

That would make a good blog post.
What? Burnt toast?
I hate these parking spaces.
Do they make faces?

Payback is going to be fun.
I wonder on who under our sun?
Wow, she's stuck right out there.
She was in a car, so you are aware.

What a lazy ass.
That could apply to many a class.
Why can't they ever get the a/c to work right?
Always one extreme to the other on site.

Don't think that, it can't be typed.
And it shouldn't be hyped.
Raised the price again, greedy bitches.
Maybe it was pricing glitches?

Take your recovery drink and shove it.
It does taste like umm spit.
Two posts down, eight to go for today.
Yep, write ten in one day at our bay.

So there you go plenty of semi-tame thoughts all aglow. The cat had to keep this pg so he avoided some at our sea. I too have thoughts that come to pass like how can I get those birds outside with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 17, 2014

With Each Claim I Take No Blame!

You know Pat blames me for a lot of things as I run about our wings. That makes it sound like we have a big place. Nope, averaged size apartment we embrace. But anyway he keeps blaming me and we can't take the fifth at our Canadian sea.

Look at all the litter on the floor.
It goes right out to the door.
Don't go looking at me.
I blame that one on Cassie.

There was a huge bang,
And maybe a bit of a clang.
You found glass on the floor?
It was a magic elf wanting to explore.

You almost stepped in goo?
Are you telling me a hairball came due?
Those birds just spit them through the window.
I think you would call those kind a crow.

That cord is chewed a bit?
I did not do it.
It was that shadow on the wall.
Did you not see it running down the hall?

There is water all over the floor?
My, fish sure like to explore.
They have to take water with them you know.
Or else they would dry up and shrivel like a zombie toe.

There are holes in the shower curtain?
I told you that you should not be flirtin.
That is not good for you,
For things may turn blue.

The mat is upside down?
Why are you looking at me with a frown?
It just wants to get the dirt off of it.
So it twirled around a bit.

The curtain rod looks a little bent?
That was some guy trying to pitch a tent.
He snuck in when you were at work.
He had a real evil smirk.

You hear meows in the night?
Boy, that must be a fright.
I bet it is those neighbors next door.
They sure like to umm explore.

There is cat hair on the couch?
Okay, just so you will not be a grouch.
I will admit to that.
But what do you expect from a cat?

Geez, Pat blames me for everything around here. I bet he would even blame me if someone scratched his ear. He really just has no class, always trying to blame my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Captcha This Little Bit Of Bliss!

So captcha is crap but we all know that across the map, except for maybe a select few who still have the horrible thing in view. Maybe they just want to send love notes though, like the ones below.


A robber of another kind.
Hated by my behind.
That damn vet,
Stole those of this pet.


I hope they didn't do that.
So disturbing to the cat.
Or maybe they get their kicks,
From a wiener mutt who licks.


Nibble ones welcome I guess.
At least they were able to confess.
 If they are nibble and quick,
Things may click.


Guess he liked the nibble ones.
Sounds like he liked them tons.
Or he went snip snip too.
With a robbery from the first in view.


Ummm err okay.
Keep it to yourself at your bay.
We don't want any of that.
Not getting the rectum of the cat.


Ewww indeed.
At your feed.
Take your scent,
And bury yourself in cement.


Which day of the week is that?
Can't be hump day at your mat.
If it is though,
Not celebrating right at your show.


Could not take your sexless day?
Had to take all the pain away?
Geez, just use lefty or righty,
They can be mighty.


No! Don't use those.
They cause woes.
Going to new lows.
They lick your toes.


See what happens at your mat,
When you spell the name wrong of the cat?
You get nowhere.
Just left confused at your lair.

So there you go, captcha's can be scary and now you know. So if you go to a place, that still puts the stupid thing in front of your face, and they say any of that, fly away quick like a bat. Captcha can be creepy in mass. They are not getting near my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Watch Your Butt When Mean At Your Hut!

So do you believe in this karma thing? Round and round things go at ones wing? Maybe it is just wishful thinking, but some deserve some quicksand sinking.

What goes around comes around.
Like a leg humping hound.
At least that is the saying,
When the mean buggers start playing.

But do they get it in the end?
That could be a dirty trend.
If they drop the soap.
That would mean Karma likes to grope.

But then you have the rich dicks,
With a big wall of bricks.
They get off scott free each time,
No matter the crime.

Martha Stewart doesn't count.
Okay, if you want maybe a little amount.
Karma comes after they die?
Does it poke them in their dead eye?

Hell for all alive.
But no matter what they survive.
Until they don't and kick the bucket.
Did karma just say, duck it?

Too many to take out,
So it lets them swim away like a trout.
An interesting case could be made,
For into that bad place they could fade.

But is that any more real than karma's fluff?
Has your brain had enough?
Today I'm on a roll.
The thoughts just stroll.

If I had to place a bet,
I'd hope the dumb get caught in the net.
Because of karma though?
Or because they are dumb at their show?

I'd go with dumb.
For to its effect the smart ones are numb.
Or dumb with lots of dough,
Paying someone to have their ducks in a row.

A trick of the human mind.
Is maybe what it is of some kind.
To make ourselves feel good,
Thinking they will get theirs in some hood.

Either or can also be true.
Again depends on the view.
Just like anything else at your tree,
If you look hard enough you will see what you want to see.

So did I clear anything up today?
I don't think so at my bay.
But it was fun to let the thoughts roll.
Should I do a karma poll?

The cat did some major mind work today. Have anything to say? Or is it all burnt out? Do you also want to swim like a trout? Damn, too many questions that have come to pass. Today I must be an annoying little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A dVerse Look At What's Ahead At Your Nook!

Have you seen a great dVerse movie so far this year? No! Why? With so many great ones near. Paranormal Activity: The Strange Ones was so good it would give you the runs. Okay, don't believe me. I'll let pick others to come at your sea.

The Hobbit - quest for even more money,
Will come when it isn't sunny.
Robocop - remade, recycled and redone.
Wait! They all mean the same thing when spun.

Expendables 3 - we aren't too old for this shit.
Thanks to stunt doubles a little bit.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - childhood raped.
Bay needs to be strung up and duct taped.

Horrible Bosses 2 - get studios bosses rich.
That was the whole pitch.
Night at the Museum 3 - Ben is still here.
Corny, but had to be said I fear.

Amazing Spiderman 2 - Marvel, screw you.
Rights are staying at our zoo.
The Lego Movie - together again.
It must suck to be three part men.

Transformer 4 - blow shit up more!
Plus giant robots galore.
22 Jump Street - Old farts in school.
But we still get to act cool.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.
How many things can happen to a planet with no grapes?
Muppets Most Wanted - Spoiler, the are puppets.
Did I just ruin the Muppets?

300: Rise of the empire.
Prequels are which we aspire.
Godzilla - how many times is this?
Fights something that can hiss.

Interstellar - screw Batman.
Not a Ben Affleck fan?
Sin City - A Dollar to Kill For.
Sorry, still won't hit big at your shore.

X-Men - Screw the piss poor third one.
That works under my sun.
Captain America - no there is no Iron Man.
He's off getting a much needed tan.

Adam Sandler "something or other" grosses 200 million.
Some Twilight rip off makes a zillion.
But don't stick up your fanny,
Tomorrow, tomorrow you will get Annie.

There we go, now you have plenty to look forward to at your show. The later ones should be fun and I'll give a few run. But I still think Bay should be strung up and butt sniffed by a pup. Then again he gets money in a huge mass. So I guess he gets to blow stuff up and annoy my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 13, 2014

I'm So Slick At Helping You Pick!

Speaking of travel today, travel to the ninja wannabe's bay. There is a guest post from the cat. How about that.

Many may be thinking of changing their station and wondering about their next vacation. While never fear if you are lost. The cat will help you at no cost. Aren't I nice? Great spots at no price.


Vacation in a rock.
A door that can lock.
So as you rock and roll,
No one will bother your umm stroll.


Visit the dead.
Paris may turn you red.
But you'll turn white,
When you see this sight.


Play hop scotch the adult way.
Jump from island to island across the bay.
Get those gluts in shape.
Yes, you can wear a cape.


Umm a blue thing in a rock.
To it you should flock.
Why should you go there to dock?
Because, it's a blue thing in a rock.


Sleep on the plane.
Forget any train.
Can be the pilot too.
Look at you.


A big big pointy rock.
Climb it and hang your sock.
You claim the pointy rock.
Your friend you will shock.


Visit and get tingly all over.
You can even bring rover.
They don't discriminate,
When the probe is your fate.


Battle this plastic monster thing.
Sing a song like a ding a ling.
Drunk and spunk,
It's a slam dunk.


See, get drunk with glee.
But in the wine they could pee.
That would not be nice.
Better off paying full price.


Or you could go lame,
Grab some guy or dame,
Then rest here.
Boring, to my little rhyming rear.

Now don't you want to hire the cat to get you away from your mat? You could see a great big pointy rock or even have an alien probe and gawk. A once in a life time thing. Just give the cat a ring. He will fly you there freight class. Damn, I'm such a helpful little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Number One As Rip Off Week Is Done!

We can't neglect Hank any longer. His hate is growing stronger. He was not number one. Instead he was number seven to be done. That just would not do. Hank says very mean things when he gets number two.

Waffles for the win!
Stupid kid, I'll do him in.
Alex got number one!
I'll wedgie the ninja and he'll be done.

Rosey squeaked in to first place.
I'll throw pie in her face.
Truedessa finally got number one!
I'll sink her ship and run.

Brian snuck in after years.
I'll leave him in tears.
The Silver Fox was first.
His bubble I will burst.

John beat Hank today.
I will make that bald guy pay.
R is on top.
His two words will flop.

Manzanita scored number one.
I'll give her worms and she'll run.
Betsy actually got up early.
I'll steal her coffee and make her squirrelly.

Mary snuck in to first place.
I'll spray her with mace.
Terry decided to fight.
Watch out, I bite.

Keith failed again.
I don't have to stab him with my pen.
Folklore is on top.
I'll poison her squirrel then she'll flop.

To anyone else who goes for my place,
I will put a frown on your face.
You will regret the day,
You took my number one away.

So watch your back,
My vengeance won't lack.
I'll go on the attack.
You may get a whack.

What? This smile?
It is really vile.
You shall see.
Number one is reserved for only me.

Wow, Hank takes his spot seriously I guess. With him you may not want to mess. Pies and wedgies could be in store. Better watch Hank at my shore. You take his top spot he will sass. Or it could just be the imagination of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Great Post At My Coast!

Today we rip off the best commentator ever. He/she/it is oh so clever. Been around a good long while, took a break, then came back writing comments by the pile. I think you can guess who when done at our zoo.

Aliens blow up the coast.
Great Post!
In radiation people are dosed.
Great Post!

Casper isn't really a ghost.
Great Post!
I'm not really a rhyming host.
Great Post!

You smell like burnt toast.
Great Post!
Porn leaves you engrossed.
Great Post!

Two word disorder has been diagnosed.
Great Post!
Bet you aren't riposte.
Great Post!

Rabbits are faster than most.
Great Post!
I'm gonna sit here and boast.
Great Post!

I've got nothing at my coast.
Great Post!
I'll give you a toast.
Great Post!

I want to be a ghost.
Great Post!
Do I have to keep rhyming post?
Great Post!

Cheating was diagnosed.
Great Post!
So two words at most?
Great Post!

You must be engrossed.
Great Post!
Dumb as a post?
Great Post!

I am cheating too much at my coast.
Great Post!
Persistent like heart burn from toast.
Great Post!

Geez, R needs to add another word at the end. Only so many things that rhyme with post I can send. So any bets on what R is? He or She or some other biz? Maybe R will get a delight and three words will take flight. At least R isn't crass like my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 10, 2014

A Little Whine From The Feline!

You know the cat has to mock one eye. It is so easy to do under my sky. That cyclops eye just asks for it. It makes all who view it have a fit. So lets see what happens today as the cat rips off one eye's bay.

Serenity is my favorite word.
Actually, I flip that the bird.
Actually, I am not sure on that.
Actually, I blame the cat.

The nefarious cat is on my ass.
Actually, he used my grass.
Actually, I stepped in it.
Actually, I got more than a bit.

I'll exacerbate it as I whine.
Actually, I hate the feline.
Actually, I may not.
Actually, he can rot.

Diametrically opposed has me confused.
Actually, I feel abused.
Actually, I'm amused.
Actually, I'm infused.

Abomination, I am not.
Actually, I like that a lot.
Actually, I guess I could be.
Actually, I have a flea.

No one will discombobulate me.
Actually, we shall see.
Actually, they should get the cat.
Actually, I have a great hat.

Articulate more on it.
Actually, I did that a bit.
Actually, I whine fine.
Actually, I swing from a vine.

I am lollygagging about.
Actually, I twist and shout.
Actually, I fall on my bum.
Actually, I go willy nilly and them some.

The intricate details I will spill.
Actually, you'll get your fill.
Actually, I need a pill.
Actually, time to pay a bill.

Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
Actually, cat I still blame you.
Actually, this damn one eye.
Actually, I need to go whine and cry.

Actually, I am now done. Actually, that was fun. Actually, I have annoyed a few. Actually, old one eye must not have a clue. Actually, I do not really know. Actually, I made this up at my show. Actually, now this has come to pass from my ever so actual little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

I Tried But I Could Not Change The Tide!

The cat went to rip off Theresa today, trying to give a prize at his bay. But Theresa was greedy and would not share. She snapped it up for herself at her lair.

Come one, Come all
To my prize hall.
Here you could win,
Coins for your bin.

Just enter here,
Give a cheer,
Follow this,
Don't you miss.

Follow that.
Trust the cat.
I tried it.
Yep, a bit.

It was fun.
Away they run.
Taking it home.
Beats a comb.

No compensation was given.
I'm still livin.
So it must be great.
Such a fate.

You humans will bask.
People will stop and ask,
What is that smell?
It's an easy sell.

Damn it, Theresa is greedy.
She won't help the needy.
Taking it all for herself.
Bet she hangs it on a shelf.

Maybe she'll frame it,
Thinking it is a hit?
I bet she will.
Seems she likes a thrill.

Oh what a prize.
It attracts flies.
They are fun to chase.
Might get on your shoe lace.

But she ruined it.
She did have a fit.
That was fun to watch.
Nope, it wasn't scotch.


See, look at her go? She stepped in dog you know. I was giving it away to all of you, then she scooped it up at her zoo. She really stepped in it this time. A smelly Halloween Nazi is a crime. So I have no prize, unless you want dead flies? So greedy she even hogs crap. I bet she'd steal your nap. A rip off crap. Ever thought that would take a lap? Never trust that lass. You have been warned by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

A Wannabe For Me?


Today at my bay it's a ninja wannabe rip off on display. He has been so secretive to all. Not showing you the next great book at his hall. Well nothing can stop the cat. I find everything out at my mat.

Cover Reveal, It's A Big Deal

See! Such a liar that ninja wannabe. Said it was only a trilogy and instead made it a quadrilogy. I hear it starts off as the others were all a dream, some kind of slip stream. Then ahead it goes full steam. Then they think it wasn't a dream. They are being tricked. That makes all ticked. Then they think it is a dream. Then they get hit with a death beam. Then it isn't a dream. Damn, this is more confusing than that movie Brazil at my stream. So your guess is as good as mine. Damn, ninja wannabe confusing the feline.

Elsewhere in blogland life is grand:

Betsy is showing cat pictures galore.
Brian is gawking at every shore.
Truedessa is writing about love.
Rosey is giving away things like a baseball glove.

Terry is giving a worm shout.
Manzanita is sure to pout.
Halloween Nazi is still upset,
She can't off this poor pet.

Penny is still eating crap.
Old one eye sure can flap.
R is saying two words.
The tabbies still hate burds.

Basically everything is different yet the same.
Grammar Nazi I blame.
Trying to keep all in line.
Pffft, not this feline.

Triva Time, In Rhyme!

#1 Name the two beers in Take This Job and Shove It at your pit.

#2 What's the name of the green superhero rabbit that has a toad fighting habit?

#3 Where were they off to in The Dream Team, don't say dream.

#4 "Don't f*** with the lords of hell" was said in for the win?

#5 Scat Man played ever so groovy while a guys shoes were on fire in which movie?


 Review At My Zoo

It sucks the biggest bag of litter ever. Nothing about it is clever. Go beat your head against the wall. It will be much more fun at your hall.

SPECIAL NOTE: This was a rip off I decided to float, meaning the above book is FAKE! Just in case you do a double take.

Expect a ninja wannabe rip off for insecure day? How does it relate at my bay? Many seem to be insecure about ripping things off trying to re-invent the wheel as they scoff. Not gonna happen at any sea. Always will be a comparison out there of some other book tree. Make your idea yours and that is that. As long as you are not some blatant copy cat. Like maybe sorta the above from the cat. Hey, the ninja wannabe does not rhyme at his mat.

So, do you like the fake cover I had made? Do you think it is a dream that will fade? Do you know the answers at your zoo? Do you like my review? Are you tired of questions yet? Do you want more from this pet? Did you say you passed gas? Stay away from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A dVerse Rip Off Today With Three On Display!

So for dVerse here and there, Truedessa writes little tales with Pat and the cat at her lair. They are fun and very well done. So the cat ripped her off today but not in the usual way. For a tale has come to life as Grumpy Goo and Captain Red Shoes cause them strife.


There was a man,
Who had a tan.
He was absurd.
With his yummy bird.


I wanted to eat it.
Every little bit.
So we fired away,
In some sort of bay.


I made Pat go and fetch the thing.
He grabbed it by the wing.
Then swung on back.
I needed my snack.


See, yum!
That bird was dumb.
It tasted like chicken though.
But then, oh know!


She came on the ship.
She had a cement hip.
She sunk us into the sea.
How rude of she.


She even killed Pat.
I had to stop the dingbat.
A murderous streak.
She needed to go up the creek.


She waited the treasure,
It brought her pleasure,
All to herself.
What a greedy elf.


But the shine brought Pat back.
A woman he did not want to attack.
But then she looked ill,
And fit the bill.


She was a blue guy in disguise.
Ticking the cat off was not wise.
I kicked him in the giant litterbox.
He sure caused bitter shocks.


The pirates all ran away.
Captain Red Shoes was in dismay.
He had fallen for a blue guy.
I think he started to cry.

Click here for the real story. It isn't so gory.

Well that may not be how it really goes, but another book is here to pose. Sorry Truedessa, it has no rose. Now they go where the wind blows. And now book 25 has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Beer Guys Get Caught! It Must Have Hurt A Whole Lot!

Back we are at my bar, of course that is no shocker. But did you know the beer guys are being carried around like shoes from Foot Locker? No? Well you will after this show. Could it be rip off week once more? I guess we shall see at my shore.

Last the beer guys knew they were in the shower. No, not together, because Bryan refused to first give Brandon a flower. Then they awoke ready to make fun of some bloke. I guess they had too many beers because their situation was still not clear.
 
"What should we write about today? Damn it! My fingers aren't working."

"I told you not to pleasure our retarded goat any more. There is our next post, six simple ways to pleasure a goat. Miley Cyrus will love it. Damn it! I think I helped you. My arms won't move."

They schemed about their goat post and finally attempted to move and give each other a blog roast. It finally dawned on them they were all head. Three whole hours later, yep, that's what I said.

"Bryan, I have no ass. What did you do?"

"Hmm I knew I shouldn't have spoke to that green skinned woman. Why did I find her nine breasts attractive? She said she was just testing a new product."

"And you believed her? Well she did have nine breasts."

The pair yapped about size, structure and placement for a while, enough that it would make even the most devote porn addict change that dial. Finally they decided to make a plan to make themselves once again a whole man.


"Okay, she has nine breasts right? So she doesn't need all that skin. We can mold them into bodies of our own."

"It's alive, It's alive. I always wanted to say that."

"Then we kick that alien bitches ass with our little gingerbread man, alien breast made bodies and hop a ship for home."

"I'm game. But just so you know, she had two asses. So we leap on three?"

"Leap with what? Didn't you listen to what I was saying? We have to pucker up to each breast and then climb them one by one until we get to her throat. Then we bite through it."

"Do they make shots for alien std's?"

The pair went over their plan time and time again, waiting for the nine breasted alien to enter their display case den. Finally she came into the specimen room and they puckered up, making her alien ears bloom. She stripped and the beer guys were open lipped.

"Bryan, your nine breasted alien is a hermaphrodite. She has six peckers. And they look frisky. Damn you!"
"I was hoping those lumps in her pants were a tenth breast."

"I'd rather stay a head than get frisky with your nine breasted, six dicked alien crush."

"You can't deny, she gives a whole new meaning to sixty nine."

The pair pondered that as they remained in their jars, each realizing they would never again visit bars. The alien girl was ready for action though. Who got high and who got low? I don't want to know. End of this six dicked, nine breasted, alien hermaphrodite show!

Oh the life of a head in a jar. At least they can visit galaxies afar. Must be hard for them to drink beer. I hope they have an alien with some near. Otherwise that could cause dread. I hope this does not go to their head. So there was a heads up for you on the beer guy crew. It could be all in your head at my grass. Head on down to get ahead of the game and leave a comment for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.