Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Glory Of Story!

The cat has something to say, yeah I know I do everyday, but today it was just strange. It seems things wanted to change. The cat was not impressed at all. I'd rather visit that thing you call a mall.

I jumped off the bed,
After causing Pat dread.
Yeah, I tramped on his head.
Never fear, nothing bled.

I saw the floor.
I saw the door.
So I leaped in the air.
A standard morning affair.

Then there was a hole.
It ruined my stroll.
It appeared out of nowhere.
It sucked me away from my lair.

There I was,
In a land of fuzz.
It was worst than dust,
Or engine rust.

It was fuzz.
The fuzz could buzz.
The buzzing was loud.
The fuzz was proud.

The fuzz could talk.
It could also gawk.
It was alive.
How would I survive?

I ate the fuzz.
Fuzz that never was.
But more came.
The fuzz wasn't tame.

It gave me gas,
Right out my ass.
Yeah, where else would it come,
Than out my bum?

I used that as a rocket.
Poking the fuzz in the eye socket.
I flew into the air,
Burning up the fuzzy lair.

Then I saw the hole.
I did a little mid air roll,
And into it I went,
Telling the fuzz to get bent.

Now I have to clean myself for a week. The fuzz isn't for the meek. You just don't know what you'll find in a hole. Those things should be cleaned by some worker mole. Hey, I survived the curiosity of a cat. Isn't that where it's at? So fall in any holes? Get visited by any cleaner moles? I also got to the hole before poor sleepy Cass. I am just such a helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Grocery Shop Until You Drop!

There are all kinds of things about, even a scream and shout. You just have to look. One place you find them is the grocery store nook. Yeah, the gawker's scary place. This won't put a smile on his face.

It's grocery shopping day,
The fridge has become bare.
That processed food is just A OK.
Forget the mixed in rat hair.

It's grocery shopping day,
Your credit score is calling.
Credits cards want out to play.
Who can deny those prices falling.

Everywhere the carts are pushing.
It's the end of being stress free.
Parents all around are shushing,
Some kid always has to pee.

Well it's grocery shopping day.
Your cart is already half full.
Why not try the sample tray,
Grab some testicles of a bull.

You might find some more deals,
Or something completely gluten free.
But even with your cart's squeaky wheels,
With wheat you still strongly agree.

Oh it's grocery shopping day,
Your limit has been met.
It's almost time to pay,
There's just that thing for the pet.

It's grocery shopping day,
The line up has you waiting.
With your fingers you play,
Well reading who plastic face is dating.

It's grocery shopping day.
Your turn has finally come.
You load the belt ready to pay,
Well talking out your bum.

It's grocery shopping day,
Your credit card has been maxed.
But you'll pay that next May,
After all you were just taxed.

The fridge has been totally filled,
The best before dates are one day away.
Your family will be thrilled.
Until next grocery shopping day.

Now doesn't that make you just want to go out and shop until you drop? Would you rather do the bunny hop? Enjoy shopping at the store forevermore. The cat will stay home and let you humans roam. That way he won't end up giving slow pokes sass. But that would be fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

A Chance Dance!

So by chance you might have thought of this. Maybe by chance you got bliss. Maybe by chance you missed getting hit by a bus. Chance just has so much fuss.

Chance has odds.
No fishing rods.
No fake things like luck.
Odds make or break a buck.

Chance encounter takes place.
A chance you see a familiar face.
What are the odds of that?
Sure beats the cat.

Work them out.
Math isn't what I shout.
What you want me to?
Okay, just for you.

One million to one.
Your chance of dying by the sun.
Two million to three,
Your chance of dying while you pee.

Don't you love odds?
Are they made up by cods?
One person dies by this.
So now your chances are this bliss.

Chance of winning the jackpot.
Pffft better chance of catching dry rot.
Or turning into a robot.
Maybe getting hit by lightning on the spot.

See, chance can be compared as well.
Doesn't chance make all things swell?
What is the chance you agree?
Fifteen to one I see.

Wow, you are mean.
Such chance aversion at my scene.
You don't like math?
Prefer knowing the chance of dying in the bath?

Chance runs every place,
Odds from here to outer space.
Chance of aliens probing you?
About seven billion to two.

I knew you'd want that stat.
No need to thank the cat.
Chances are I am done.
Any chance you had fun?

Chance and odds seem to always be at play. But pfffft to the odds they give I say. They are pulled out of thin air sometimes. Get better advice from mimes. Yep, say nothing at all. That is the chance at your hall. When numbers are involved chance is at play, like the lottery at any bay. The dying sort could happen whenever. You just up the chances with each endeavor. Isn't chance worse than a case of gas? Chances are no when talking about my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

We Estimate That We Control Your Fate!

So the cat had to call for a number thingy the other day, yeah Pat did because my meowing only goes one way, and the first thing they said was we'll get to you when we get out of bed. What, don't believe me? Just follow along with my rhyming spree.

Call #1 was such fun,
They said oopsy you're done.
Call back tomorrow.
Your time we will borrow.

Call #2 a repeat.
Hates those at my street.
But beats a remake.
Drown those in a lake.

Call #3, a big yippee.
They are at their sea.
Oopsy, still a bad fate,
Because you have to wait.

30-60 minutes is your wait time.
That is not a crime.
You are reminded it is an estimation.
Shhh not that much of a guestimation.

Just sit and hold the phone to your ear,
We will soon be near.
The phone companies will dance with glee.
Long distance charges added up on thee.

Bah, forget toll free.
We just want to screw thee.
Not in a fun way.
Screw you out of pay.

Maybe you'll give up.
Then more money in our cup.
Damn stubborn cat.
Go chew on a rat.

You still here?
Gonna be another 30 minutes I fear.
We said that 60 minutes ago.
What do we know?

Not much I guess.
Hey, at least we confess.
Enjoy the tune while we slumber.
You will soon get your number.

A number for another number.
Like swapping a pickle for a cucumber?
One is bigger I suppose.
Wait while we put on some clothes.

Yeah, Pat had to hold the phone up for a few hours. My he sure has such powers. That whole half a pound phone might make weak humans groan.  What was it for? To kick the IRS out of my shore. Get that EIN number so they don't take 30% of my dough. Damn withholding crap at my Canadian show. And turns out you no longer need it anyway, as Amazon changed it so my tax id here will suffice on display. All that for nothing at all. At least I wasn't charged long distance for the call. So now I get the whole, very small, mass. If we're lucky at least it can buy cat food for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, March 27, 2015

The Perk Does Not Work!

Ever see a cartoon and think that would be grand? Would it not be fun to do that across the land? What is that? Just stick with the cat.

Popeye chewed away,
All through the day.
Spinach made his muscles grow.
Real life = no go!

Now is that song in your head?
Oh the dread.
Could go back to bed.
Don't bump your head.

Walk in a tub of ice.
That is some nice.
It never melts at all.
Be hard to pee at your hall.

Get things dropped on your head.
But you aren't good and dead.
Just burnt and crispy a bit,
Followed by a meep meep fit.

You have no ass.
So nothing to pass.
Easy as can be.
Look at Donkey Kong if you don't believe me.

You can go inside a mouth.
It won't stunt your growth.
Can see how insides work.
That has to be a perk.

You can eat all day,
Never getting fat at your bay.
Eat whatever you want.
That be nice at your haunt.

Plus you can have 1000 episodes done.
They will always rerun,
And from start to end,
You're still the same age, my friend.

No wardrobe to worry about.
No need to twist and shout.
Just wear the same thing every day.
Lets you be cheap at your bay.

And maybe easiest of all,
Everyone talks your language on the wall.
Dubbed just for you.
No language barriers to go through.

Don't you want cartoon powers? You could live life for many extra hours. Wear the same clothes every single day. Spinach will also make you look like Rambo at your bay. Plus like the two light hearted fools you could be all mass. How they get around with no legs or arms sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

If You Were A Rock. A Blue Guy Mock!

The blue guy came after the cat a while ago, did you think I'd let that go? Whining about his little shoe. Maybe he is part kangaroo? A blue kangaroo would be a sight at a zoo. So the cat will mock and the picture may even shock.

If you were a rock, what kind of rock would you be?
Would you stick to a foot or fall on me?
Would you be pointy and sharp as a tack,
Or be one with your great big rock pack?
Would you be large and ready to please,
Or would you crumble and be one big tease?
Maybe brag that you were around when dinos roamed the Earth,
Or be smashed to bits and call it giving birth.
Would you end up really frail and bitter,
Becoming some clumping kitty litter?
How about your texture and curves?
Would you be smooth and round, remember, rocks, pervs.
Will you prick me if I touch you with a finger.
Or will you like it and let me linger?
Would you be in a collection of some collector,
Or suck up some metal and fool a metal detector?
Would you hide gold beneath or behind you,
Preventing thieves from stealing it two by two?
Maybe hide a body or something more.
Could be the Fountain of Youth or another trinket of lore.
Would you carve yourself into a headstone,
Listening for eternity as ghosts moan?
Would you gather with others to make a good bed,
Where any traveler can come to rest their weary head?
Would you protect lovers from a detection,
As behind you they hide with an umm err erection?

Or would you sit and stare
And not bother going anywhere?
Would you make rocks talk about you.
By not giving a whoopdi friggin doo?
Would you stand on your own without a care,
Or find another and make a rocky pair?
Would you let others get a good whiff
And the drop them off your cliff?
Tell me...
One, two, three...
What kind of rock would you be?


Have you decided what rock you will be? Are you like me and scared the blue guy has multiple personality disorder at his sea? Or maybe he just likes to play dress up. Whatever fills his cup. The cat will stick to being crass, passing gas with some sass and as always, being a little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Pest of Rest!

After yesterday are you all rhymed out from my play? Nah, I didn't think so. You know there will always be another post to show. But for those that can't past the test here is a little rest.

Stay in bed.
Rest your head.
Let the body stretch.
Don't play fetch.

A little air,
Screw the hair.
Screw the clothes.
Umm curl toes.

Wait, that's not rest.
But passes any test.
Did you stutter?
Okay, out of the gutter.

Now rest within.
Forget the woes at your bin.
Think happy thoughts.
But don't think lots.

I really just said that?
A bumper sticker cat.
A bumper to a humper?
Won't be a umm grumper.

Unless you're grumpy blue.
Then that's nothing new.
Now rest your fingers.
Nothing new lingers.

Sing a tune.
Be like Betsy and dance with a spoon.
Even at rest exercise be nice.
But no need to do it twice.

Relax in a chair.
Can still be bare.
Just pull the curtain.
Of that be certain.

Eat and be Mary.
Play with dogs that are hairy.
Hmm got that wrong?
Blame Donkey Kong.

And viola it's the next day.
Things came what may.
And guess what?
Nothing exploded at your hut.

Rest for the cat? We get plenty of that. May not seem so but when you are ahead plenty of rest can show. Things will always get done and then more things will need to be given a run. It never ends until you are dead. Then you rest in a permanent bed. So take a day, come what may, relax and let go of some gas. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The Final Post In My A To Z TV Toast!

The cat is now through. You can take a break at your zoo. It is one final view. The top TV shows of Pat of those shown today at my zoo. The ones that are fun that can be given a second run. So here they are. A second showing at my sand bar.


24 is a rush indeed.
Unless it drags with filler at its feed.
The clock keeps ticking.
So it gets my picking.


Monk is one that is tons of fun.
Germs and milk are scary a ton.
I agree wit the germs here.
 He was also neat even with fear.


Fun show with aliens once more.
They go out and explore.
10 years was quite the run.
Enjoyed every single one.


Another stargate hit.
Screw crappy universe every bit.
But Atlantis was grand,
As they visited the far away land.


A computer in the brain.
Knowledge sure did rain.
Great music and fun,
Well worth a run.


Got better as it went along.
Cancelling it was just wrong.
But at least it ended great.
Add it to your viewing slate.


Some parts are slow.
But when it has get up and go,
Awesome it will be.
Season 5 has sure been enjoyed by me.


Fun and lots of movie references too.
 That works for my zoo.
Fake psychics can't be beat.
Definitely worth a repeat.


Who knew a show on CBSpinoff could be good?
Has great mythology in it's hood.
Not just some run of the mill case of the week.
Already enough of those in CBSpinoff's creek.


And the show about nothing is a win.
Even if you hate it at your bin,
You have heard of it.
A well deserved hit.

The top ten is the final one. Now you are officially done. Did you hit all 24 this year? Did you run away in fear? Have you seen every show? So many questions after a long day, I know. See you back at the normal time for the daily rhyme. This year's 24 posts in one day have come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Round Twenty Three Brings Even More A To Z TV!

So the cat is back to annoy, or maybe even bring some joy. Now everyone gets a chance to be number one, no matter the time zone under your sun. What am I back with you ask? Why the 24 posts in one day task. First year it was movies by the ton and last year it was followers with my fun. This year figure it will be TV from A to Z. Not saying all are good, but they are the first ten, in most cases, that popped in at my hood. And now away we go once more with a little A to Z 24 post TV show.


Really well done.
Even had Harrison Ford in one.
 Anything is better than four,
That takes the tour.


Yogi and Boo Boo.
That you knew.
But quite the name,
For a claim to game.


Saw this one time,
 Not sure it was in TV's prime.
Didn't last long.
Could be all kinds of wrong.


A card game,
Building on Pokemon fame.
Saw a commercial here and there,
Long ago at my lair.


Young Robin Hood.
He's just misunderstood.
 Doesn't live in a hood,
Just a forest of wood.


Yogi and friends.
More Yogi trends.
What is with that?
Hey, there's a cat.


Saw it at a store.
Never did explore.
But it rhymes with rear,
So here is Yes, Dear.


Eww is all I can say.
Glad it didn't stay.
More vampire stuff.
Of blood suckers we've had enough.


A few times he came due,
Even a movie or two.
Never watched the show though.
But don't mess with Zorro, that I know.


The Walking Dead it is not.
But it`s fun with little plot.
 Nuclear zombies on the loose.
Don't let those bite your caboose.

Y and Z are through. Still having fun at my zoo? Only 1 post to go before the end of the A to Z TV show. We will get there with maybe a little cat hair. See you in an hour or less. Sorry, not really, if your blogroll is a mess. The cat will continue to trespass with his 24 posts in one day little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Round Twenty Two With More TV For You!

So the cat is back to annoy, or maybe even bring some joy. Now everyone gets a chance to be number one, no matter the time zone under your sun. What am I back with you ask? Why the 24 posts in one day task. First year it was movies by the ton and last year it was followers with my fun. This year figure it will be TV from A to Z. Not saying all are good, but they are the first ten, in most cases, that popped in at my hood. And now away we go once more with a little A to Z 24 post TV show.


Quantum Leap was great.
  Kind of tacky when future stuff was it's fate.
But awesome show through and through.
Hopefully no stupid remake comes due.


Seen commercials long ago.
That was it at my show.
Show the ugly side?
In ugly is there pride?


Didn't last long at all.
But was fun for a watch at ones hall.
 Forgot all about it to.
Until I had to think of another U.


Pffft crap is a good word.
That damn thing is absurd.
CBSpinoff and its $$$ took hold.
This thing sure isn't gold.


Another I never did see.
 Has the Allstate guy on your TV.
Maybe that is why he tots it to everyone,
Because he has such a big gun?


A great show,
With a mystery to give a go.
It did end too soon.
But longer than many a cartoon.


Best X-men to TV,
That one will ever see.
Unless they just start over again.
Which I don't doubt at my den.


She carries a big sword.
She gets a screaming award.
She can even sing too.
Don't piss Xena off at your zoo.


Had a really long run.
 Kinda got crappy when near done.
But well worth a watch indeed,
Always making one think at their feed.


What do you know.
Another good X-men show.
 Prelude in a way to the first.
Certainly not the worst.

Q, U, V and X are through. Still having fun at my zoo? Only 2 posts to go before the end of the A to Z TV show. We will get there with maybe a little cat hair. See you in an hour or less. Sorry, not really, if your blogroll is a mess. The cat will continue to trespass with his 24 posts in one day little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Round Twenty One With Our TV Fun!

So the cat is back to annoy, or maybe even bring some joy. Now everyone gets a chance to be number one, no matter the time zone under your sun. What am I back with you ask? Why the 24 posts in one day task. First year it was movies by the ton and last year it was followers with my fun. This year figure it will be TV from A to Z. Not saying all are good, but they are the first ten, in most cases, that popped in at my hood. And now away we go once more with a little A to Z 24 post TV show.


The walking dead is great.
Some episodes suffer the boring fate.
And some stupid arse characters as well.
But fun as they go through zombie hell.


Another great show to try.
They can be sly.
Once a thief,  always a thief,
Out to cause a bit of grief.


Whose the boss?
Is it a coin toss?
Maybe the kid.
If they don't get what they want they flip their lid.


Whose line is it anyway.
Fun way to pass the day.
 Drew Carey went to the Price is Right.
But the show still has bite.


A sequel of sorts to the 90's one.
Another that is well done.
 Wolverine is always on top,
Leading the X-men crop.


A good show here and there.
Not overly liked at my lair.
Just meh at most times.
At least they weren't mimes.


Still a short dude,
Maybe with some attitude.
Vaguely remember it.
Watched it a bit. 


Yep, they made it a show.
Never gave it a go.
But I knew they did.
 Making a girl beats making a squid.


 A fun show.
Gave it a go a while ago.
Vaguely remember it though.
Another that made all a ton of dough.


Lasted a very long time.
John Boy sure moved into his prime.
 And with this last W taking flight,
I can bid you all good night.

W is through. Still having fun at my zoo? Only 3 posts to go before the end of the A to Z TV show. We will get there with maybe a little cat hair. See you in an hour or less. Sorry, not really, if your blogroll is a mess. The cat will continue to trespass with his 24 posts in one day little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Round Twenty With TV By The Plenty!

So the cat is back to annoy, or maybe even bring some joy. Now everyone gets a chance to be number one, no matter the time zone under your sun. What am I back with you ask? Why the 24 posts in one day task. First year it was movies by the ton and last year it was followers with my fun. This year figure it will be TV from A to Z. Not saying all are good, but they are the first ten, in most cases, that popped in at my hood. And now away we go once more with a little A to Z 24 post TV show.


The new TMNT looks meh animation wise,
But soon out the window that flies.
It is really well done.
And it's lots of fun.


 The show was meh at best.
But its theme can pass the test.
Still have that in my head.
Talespin is mostly what it said.


Tarzan became a show.
 Many may not know.
One of the last before Disney TV went to crap.
Most now just make all want to nap.


Such a shame,
It shares the name.
Nothing like the movie at all.
 Just teenage angst at the mall.


 Three's company they say.
Made for fun back in the day.
Two for one?
Not sure that was done.


Canceled too soon.
Stupid CBSpinoff loon.
Aliens barely ever work on network TV.
I guess they are too scary?


The TMNT cartoon that started it all.
 Watched it a ton at my hall.
But now it is cheesy as hell.
It sure is no longer swell.


A mouse beats a cat.
We can't have that.
Cat's have a rep.
 We have more pep.


They bend and change.
They rearrange.
 Transformers have been around.
Many an incarnation can be found.


 Tru Calling was one I heard about,
But never watched as they spout.
So who knows if it was good.
Maybe those who watched at their hood.

T is through. Still having fun at my zoo? Only 4 posts to go before the end of the A to Z TV show. We will get there with maybe a little cat hair. See you in an hour or less. Sorry, not really, if your blogroll is a mess. The cat will continue to trespass with his 24 posts in one day little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.