Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Where Are We Going Just Keeps Growing!

So ever since you were born, even through the years of delightful porn, maybe even more so. Okay, away from the gutter I go. You have heard going and always had a going showing. Don't follow the cat? I'll take care of that.

Where are you going?
You hear when growing.
Can reap what you're sowing,
With where are you going.

The place didn't matter,
As long as nothing ended up on a platter.
But with arms a rowing,
Keeps coming where are you going.

Going to be a rise in this.
Going to be something you don't want to miss.
Going to be many retirees.
Cats are going to get fleas.

Going to be the future
Going to need a suture.
Going to be a bleak job market.
They are going to bark it.

Going to need to save.
Going to go to your grave.
Going to need to be brave.
Going to make a man cave.

Going sure is the best.
Going passes the test.
If you want a later showing,
Just say, one day it will get going.

Going to do that work.
Going is a perk.
Going to ignore going.
Going leads to owing.

Going to be a big event.
Going to need to repent.
Going to suffer wrath.
Going sure defies math.

Things are going wrong.
Sing the going song.
Going all along.
Get going, ding dong.

Are you going to leave?
The cat is going to grieve.
The cat is lying to you.
Sorry, not really true.

The cat is through with his going view. You hear every year how retirement, the end, this that and the other thing are going to come near, but does the going come due? Not unless the going is you. Where are you go to and fro across the grass? Okay, I am going now with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, June 29, 2015

A Post For A Post For A Post At My Coast!

So it is becoming more common now a days in the world wide trailer craze, no not talking the trailer park, talking movies that like to leave their mark. Anyway, becoming more common to make a trailer for a trailer for a movie. Isn't that just groovy? What next will you humans think up? More brains in a pup.

A trailer for a trailer for a movie hit!
Oops it turned out to be shit.
But we fooled you in the end,
The best parts were in the trailers to which we send.

Not excited for a trailer for a trailer anymore?
Let's go with something else that needs an encore.
No need to get stuck on one thing.
Lots of ideas we silly humans can bring.

A interview for an interview for a job.
Damn, that has to impress Bob.
Sadly this is true too.
What you humans go through.

A car for a car for a driver.
Whether you are a pedestrian or diver,
You car is inside a car.
Boy, will you get far.

A book for a book for a book.
Could go on forever with that at my nook.
A book about a book that's about a book.
Won't you go and take a look?

A woman for a woman for a man.
If of your husband you aren't a fan,
Just get another woman to do the work.
You also can reverse that perk.

A desk for a desk for a worker.
This is a real tear jerker.
The poor desk needs a desk of its own.
Then it won't be all alone.

A clock for a clock for time.
Not knowing the time is a crime.
So you need a clock for a clock.
Together they can take your time and mock.

A bill for a bill for a bill.
This just makes me ill.
For it is surely true,
Especially if the tax man is after you.

And best of all,
One needed at every hall.
Come on and be a hog,
Get a blog for a blog for a blog.

Any you would add? Isn't the trailer for a trailer for a movie just rad? Don't you want to spread it around? More of it everywhere should be found. Pffft to that I say. Redundant in every way. I'll pass gas when I pass gas right out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Into The Dare That Is Oh So Rare!

You humans can sure be creative with simple things, maybe even with your flings. But then you always seem to get caught with the later. But hey, it's some exercise so you won't get fatter. Now on with the show. I dare you to read what is below.

Peer pressure at its best.
It just has such zest.
So don't hold back,
Or you'll get flack.

I dare you.
It's true.
I dared you.
Now go pick grass and chew.

Is that a no?
Pffft give it a go.
If my dare was not great.
I double dare you to take the bait.

Waiting for you to do it.
Come on, a double dare is a hit.
Okay, I triple dare you.
Now it must come due.

Is that still a no?
Well what do you know.
I cheat rhymed there.
But what do you care.

For I just double dog dared you.
A dog makes it oh so true.
Be a dog and do it.
Don't sit and throw a fit.

I triple dog dare you.
See, it is more and new.
A dog and a triple.
Who cares if you end up a cripple.

I triple alligator dare you.
A snap will come due.
So snap to it today.
My dare will never go away.

It's a dare with care.
I hope you're aware.
I care to dare.
Dare by the pair.

Now get it done.
A dare is fun.
I quadruple rat dare you.
So grab that grass and chew.

Are you ready to eat grass? Do you take dares that come to pass? Pffft says the cat. Nonsense and all of that. But humans like to give it a go to see if they can make people do stupid things all in a row. Some even fall for it. Maybe they think dares are a hit? But the cat is fine with eating grass, it tastes good to my daring little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Important Info For All Today At My Hall!

The cat is going to amuse himself today by making you all give a wtf look on display. I wonder how many I will fool. Isn't font color so cool?

Black or white,
Green or red.
All take flight,
Hurting your head.

Can be hard on the eyes.
Can be hard on the brain.
So be nice and wise,
Don't let the shiny colors rain.

Or you may get ignored.
Then wonder why.
Nope, people aren't bored.
You are just hard on the eye.

Fancy font isn't best.
Fancy font sucks a ton.
But with this test,
Will I get through to anyone?

Beats the heck out of me.
But it sure is fun.
You may curse my sea,
If you figure out this run.

Your mouse is needed,
Or something of the like.
Or this post was never seeded,
As you take a hike.

Did you hit refresh a time or two?
I know you did at your zoo.
An error could be thought by you.
Error 50257 is something new.

Back on point,
As I confuse away.
Here at my joint,
Even more today.

Color makes or breaks.
It decides much.
Some won't do double takes,
Ignoring you and such.

So have background and font in sync,
Or get ignored each day.
End up in the blogger clink,
With no one coming to play.

Have you seen bad font blogs? Did you catch on to today's rhyming logs? Highlight and you win. Did the cat do you in? Today was such a fun pass for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, June 26, 2015

For Adults - Tremendous Sex Strength For Amazing Important Results

Did that grab you at my sea? That was the point I will admit to thee. Sorry though, I am snip snip at my show. So if you are looking for Tremendous Sex, you may be better off getting a voodoo hex. Blame Cherdo for the confusing stuff, but I am amused with this fluff.

The best heading for you.
Hell, why not make two.
Sex in the back of a truck.
Hmmm, 74, not a bad umm fluck.

Sex in a thunder storm.
Is that the norm?
I guess not.
Only earned 66 with that plot.

Sex out at sea.
Nah, doesn't work for me.
Only gets a 52.
What's a fisherman to do?

Sex with a woodchuck.
I know, what the umm duck?
It gets a 61.
Woodchucks have more fun.

Sex with a massage before.
That and fisherman don't come ashore.
Stuck back at a 52.
I guess two for one is not something they do.

Sex on the beach.
A giant litter box in reach.
Hey, it gets a 59.
Could get a 0 and still be used by the feline.

Sex out in space.
That put a smile on your face?
It only got another 52.
I guess not at your zoo.

Sex in the airplane loo.
Now that's something you'll do.
It gets a 66.
Go mile high tricks.

Sex on vacation with your home wrecker.
Damn, that is liked more than a fisherman's pecker.
Gets a 66 as well.
Isn't that swell?

Regular sex three times a week.
That only gets a 60 when you seek.
I guess regular is boring.
Maybe it leaves the woodchucks snoring?

Confused at my sea? Okay, I guess I'll help thee. CoScheduler Headline Analyzer it is. They help with your headline biz. I was trying to beat a damn 84 and that is what took the tour. Hey, sex sells right? I wanted a damn 85 to take flight. Have to word it just right. Obviously they are trying to sell. But it was fun for a what the hell. Now I'm through with my sex sass and off I wiggle my sexy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Be Steady And Get Ready!

It is the six month mark. You may not be able to find a place to park. With only six months to go, you may not find what you want high or low. What is the cat going on about? Why are you reading this when you should be out.?

Have to get it done.
Six months until the fun.
It is coming quick.
Things must click.

You need one for all.
Be cheery at your hall.
Parking is piling up.
Suck back that coffee in your cup.

Go go go.
You just never know.
Six months isn't a lot of time.
Missing someone may be a crime.

You need to hurry along.
Can even sing a song.
Don't sit and sigh,
Just buy, buy, buy.

Six months is short.
So says a stock report.
Hmm made that up you say?
Could have at my bay.

Rush along though,
Don't stub your toe.
Get that special spot.
Spend a whole lot.

The greed is in need.
It has to take seed..
The sales are coming.
Shop with some humming.

You only have six months to go.
Don't wait until the shelves are low.
Get out there now.
You can do it somehow.

Everything is nuts, I know.
But there is only six months to go.
People have to have it.
You may miss out on a hit.

Shop until you drop.
Can't have it be a flop.
For there is only six months to go,
Before you are visited by the guy who goes ho ho ho.

Got all your holiday shopping done? Come on, you should have everyone. It is only six months until Christmas is back. Don't sit there on your hands at your shack. Hmmm the cat is crazy you say? I can go with that at my bay. But just so you know, you only have six months to go. Don't say you weren't warned blogger class by my ever so ahead little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Sick Want To Click!

So with equal rights making the rounds everywhere, as well it should to most at their lair, one more wants to join the club. Animals better watch out the next time you get a belly rub. Know what I'm getting at? It is sickening to the cat. Read an article that seemed legit. I hope though it was written by a twit.

Equal rights for all.
Everyone should stand tall.
No matter the sex or orientation.
"All" now gives some elation.

Zoophiles want to come out.
Them and their trout.
Or maybe horse and such.
They love animals umm much.

They think it is no big deal.
They should be allowed to cop a feel.
Or do more than that.
Have you caught on to the cat?

They want to hump a goat.
They want to do it in a trench coat.
They want animals galore,
Going all humpity hump at their shore.

It's no big deal at all.
Hump animals, short, fat and tall.
Let's make equals rights to such a thing.
It would make an easy spring fling.

Are some humans that sick?
That slow on the uptick?
Yeah let's let animal humpers join in.
Equal rights for the win.

It's only illegal in three-quarters of the states.
The other quarter humans can have animal mates.
Rednecks aren't the only ones.
What happens if an animal gets the runs?

Ewww, erase that thought.
Nasty by a whole friggin lot.
Grossed out yet?
Have a thing for your pet?

Coming soon to a TV near you,
Zoophiles at the zoo.
Zoophiles and their lover.
I'm too old for this shit starring Danny Glover.

I think all are too old for that.
Nastier than stepping in scat.
Humans are as creepy as can be.
Keep your human parts away from me.

I guess equal rights for all can go a bit far. Cover the zoophiles in tar. Then toss them out in the weather and let them get covered in feather by feather. The cat is all for equal rights for each species and such. But going all man loving a horse is a bit much. Know any zoophiles at your sea? I hope they are far away from thee. Creepy zoophiles get no equal rights from me or a singing bass. They can stay far away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

This And That From The Cat!

A this and that you may be expecting today, but will there be a this or a that on display? I guess the word is there for all of you as you stare. Can you stare and read at the same time? Maybe leave that for another rhyme.

This and that,
Where it's at.
That and this,
Gets no bliss.

Tit for tat,
Chews the fat.
Tat for tit,
Sounds dirty a bit.

Fair and square,
Is not so rare.
Square and fair,
Just gets a glare.

Love and hate,
Takes the bait.
Hate and love,
Gets a shove.

Black and blue,
Sure comes due.
Blue and black,
Hangs on the rack.

Doom and gloom,
Counts for doom.
Gloom and doom,
Just goes kaboom.

Ball and chain,
Can feel pain.
Chain and ball,
Does nothing at all.

Beck and call,
Stands nice and tall.
Call and beck,
Is always in check.

Bells and whistles,
Shoot like missiles.
Whistles and bells,
Get shoved down wells.

The birds and the bees,
Sure do please.
The bees and the birds,
Count only as turds.

The cat could go on all day. Betsy, is to be thanked for this array. She didn't like that and this. That really makes her hiss. Maybe that and this the cat will have to use a ton. I know there are many to give a run. Could make ten posts with it. But this will do at my rhyming pit. I am done with my backwards sass and the that and this from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Back In Time With This Animal Chime!

So last week the beer guys reminded the cat of all that came before me. There was much to see. I'd sure go on the hunt there. The tabbies of trout towne may swear. But what they heck. Let's put the past on deck. All but the first two attributed to wikicommons on display at my zoo. This was back before digital cameras and such. Dating myself much?


So there were a few of these.
This one the cat did tease.
 He couldn't catch me.
Such a slow poke at the other sea.


Then there are a ton of those.
There the cat hair blows.
But these two we know.
So on with the show.


There were peacocks.
 They liked gawks.
And they were rather mean.
Peck your eyes out at their scene.


The white ones were more lame.
They never had such a mean claim.
But they sure left a pile of shit.
 Yep, more than a bit.


This guy is as crazy as can be.
He'll peck off your knee.
High strung isn't even enough to describe him.
He wanted to make your life grim.


Chicken shit would describe this one.
He once got loose and had the ability to run.
Did he run though?
Nope, tried to get back into his cage show.


And then there were these.
Can smell them with a breeze.
Heck, even without a breeze.
They sure did not please.


Even had a few of those.
They would strike a pose.
Then try and make the birds a snack.
 Couldn't break through the cage with their attack.


These came on by.
Stabbed a dog near the eye.
How rude they were,
Them and their stabby fur.


And just for the tabbies of trout town.
So they don't feel down.
Suza sent it for me to pass along.
 Is wanting to kill those flashy birds wrong?

There were many more birds too. Yep, a good 15 different kinds at Pat's former zoo. None were as crazy as those above though. The cat would have made them all eat crow. Hmm, bad choice of words there. The stink from the cows sure could scare. Now you have seen the past with this pass. So glad it's here that it is just Cass and my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Mars Boom And Doom!

So some nut had a theory that was a bit eerie. Eerie as in it sounded like a movie rip off more than a bit. But hey, I get a post out of making fun of it. He may have visited one too many bars. Anyway, now let's travel to Mars.

Mars had life.
It had little strife.
All were as happy as can be.
They even had animals like me.

Life was like it is here,
Although less advanced I fear.
If you can call us advanced at all.
At least we don't draw on the wall.

Two races lived on it.
The Cydonians and Utopians were a hit.
They lived together in peace.
Then came the big decrease.

An alien race came to Mars.
Wonder if they have flying cars?
Then they nuked the place,
Blowing off every Martian face.

Everything there was dead.
Life of Mars was put to bed.
The aliens blew up the place,
Then they flew back into space.

Hmmm meanies they were.
Blowing up Martians made them purr?
I wonder if they can purr?
Their travel must be a blur.

And yet they haven't bothered our sea.
Maybe those aliens cease to be?
Or maybe they think we'll blow ourselves up.
So they just wait for such a hiccup.

Quite the names he pulled to.
What would they be named by you?
Clan one and clan two?
That would be to easy to come due.

Think the theory is right?
Did aliens come with might?
They blew Mars to bits,
Creating those big pits.

It is a fun theory,
But as said, rather eerie.
Maybe Independance Day got stuck in his head.
Or Mars Attacks just filled him with dread.

No doubt life out there some where does exist. But are they that advanced and pissed? I mean just to come all that way and blow something to bits. Maybe they like to throw space fits? One strange theory indeed. Had to give it a go at my feed. You never know about that Martian gas. It can play tricks on you like that from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Round Thirty Five As They Are Still Alive!

The search engine nuts like my place. I guess a rhyming cat they embrace. I am not sure that is a good thing, but it allows me to give them a ring. I suppose that could be bad too as it could keep bringing them to my zoo. Maybe the search engine nuts are after fame and are too shy to leave their name.

workin in the bush above tush

Do you whistle while you work? That could be a perk.

big eyes glasses pet

Pets get glasses now? That ought to raise an eyebrow.

comebacks for rhymes

I rhymed you
Boo hoo
That is all you can do
Go boo hoo

shaggy mutt

Does this look like Scooby Doo here at my zoo?

copy cat dirty rat rhyme

Copy cat
Dirty rat
Chewed some fat
That was that

stepped in dog shit

And you are telling me this why? Maybe you should be more spry.

sex yex

You convex with your sex yex hex.

what can the cat do

Poo in your shoe at half past two.

pissed of being

A pissed off ghost or something more at your coast?

deer licking other deer's neck

A deer fetish I see. The WWF may come after thee.

тайм ю райм

Well it is sorta an eye rhyme. Some bad grammar crime

found some bugs today in my 

In my what? How rude of you not to finish at your bug filled hut.

My mommy wont let me play

So you come to my bay? She really will not let you play if here you spend your day.

grudges get settled grammar style

Hmmm is it that easy? Maybe I will ask the Grammar Nazi.

And now for the winner this time. They must come from far far away with their chime. They are really out of the loop. Maybe they live in a chicken coop. Who knows though. Any guesses as to the below?

Should I fear woodchucks chucking my wood

Maybe they are just misunderstood? I hope they are talking about logs at their hood. But then again I really do not want to know. It is probably some bad porn show. So now another search engine round has come to pass and they are just as strange as ever to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, June 19, 2015

A Dog In A Frog?

So Pat is off in nonsense land which the cat thinks is grand. You know I like nonsense at my sea. Plenty of it sure comes from me. Anyway, off he goes and suffers new lows. It has a mutt who sniffs a frog's butt.

There is a log.
There is a dog.
There is a frog.
Nope, no hog.

What's in the log?
Dog or frog?
Frog or dog?
Watch the log.

The log in a bog?
Ask the dog.
The log has a clog?
Ask the frog.

A dog or frog,
Are in the log.
Unless it is just the dog,
Or maybe just the frog.

Have you spied the log?
Caught the dog?
Caught the frog?
Is there a dog in your frog?











And there you go. Another kids book to add to my show. Could there ever be a dog in a frog? Have to come out a brown log. Plus be one mighty big frog. Poor, poor dog. Maybe the dog will give bad gas? Beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Come And Play The End Of Day!

If only I had eaten it when I had the chance. I should have gave it more than a glance. But I was too busy snoozing in the sun. Now because I was lazy there isn't one. The sun has been blocked out. We have barely any trout. The food supply has run dry. Litter is no longer piled high. The Earth has stopped spinning. They are now winning.

There isn't much a cat can do. They no longer can fit in the loo. Humans have gone underground. They have even taken out many a hound. Run and don't be seen is the only way to stay alive. I am not sure how much longer any of us will survive. There are more birds than cats now. I can't even say that anyone would have a cow. The cows are all dead. Many other species have also bled.

That planet united in one final shot, but they caught onto the plot. Not even a nuke could take them down. Instead they bounced them back toward any old town. It did not matter to them. They just spit some phlegm. That stuff is as nasty as can be. I once got some on me. Poor Cassie lost most of her fur because of it. Pat took a major hit. He can no longer talk. The phlegm severed his vocal cord when he tried to gawk. I think that one is on me. I shouldn't have been so lazy and let it get free.

I look back on that day and wish it went another way. It crawled across the floor like any other but then it became the Mother. It birthed millions of them and they all grew. Their size was something completely new. If it hadn't consumed my shit, Earth wouldn't have taken a hit. Everyone would still be alive and we wouldn't be down to a million humans trying to survive. We only have two million cats. Hell, they even took out most of the rats. They consume and never stop. Every species is nothing but another crop.

I think this is the end. This is the final message I can send. The internet is slowly dying as the circuits they are frying. I had to use dial up to get this far. That was like riding in an old wooden car. All because that spider consumed my shit, we are on the brink of it. Extinction is at hand as giant spiders roam the land. Not even the cockroaches will live to tell the tale. But if by somehow the giant spiders should fail, I just wanted to let you know I wish I could go back and deal Mother her final blow. I feel our extinction is going to come to pass. I hope somewhere everyone can forgive my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Forget The Fads So Say The ADs!

So the so called MDs are so high on their drugs and like to help out the big pharma thugs, that they are classified as allopaths now. Not sure who made that up, but it came about somehow. And what does allopathic doctors when abbreviated make? ADs, as in the cash they try and rake.

This pill will help you.
What I say is true.
There is no cure.
Don't you love its allure?

Bah, that is just a fad.
Never work at your pad.
Try this fancy pill.
You will no longer feel ill.

At least you won't feel like you are.
You may now feel like a drunk at a bar.
But that is just the side effects of it.
Don't worry about that shit.

You will be A OK!
Just listen to what I say.
Take this fancy pill and live.
Trust in everything I give.

Smoke, sit on your ass and take the pill.
You may want to have an up to date will.
But that is just in case.
Hey, only 1/100,000 die after the pill explodes their face.

But don't worry about that.
No need to get off your extra fat.
Just eat the GMO and take this pill.
Go ahead, have you fill.

This pill has been approved by the FDA.
That makes it golden, so cough up your pay.
That thing from overseas has not been proven one bit.
So listen to me and don't buy into it.

It was made up by a quack.
My fancy pill may give you a heart attack,
But it has been proven to work.
Bah, not just by some rich big pharma jerk.

A few billion off of this pill,
That helps you from being ill,
Is just a small price to pay,
For helping you have a brighter day.

So trust in me.
Forget naturopathy.
Forget the stuff outside of North America's shore.
Cuba's advancement in medicine over us is just lore.

Pffft to big pharma and their crap. Pffft to moronic doctors who believe the shit they are shoveling across the map. ABX and the like can come in handy. But all the other crap they feed you like candy? Yeah, friggin right. Change your diet, exercise and kill each parasite. Bingo! Fixed and no need for their stupid lingo. Of course there are more drastic things too. But guess what? Can be fixed without 50 pills going up your ass at your zoo. I am now done with today's sass. Big pharma and their crap can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Whelmed Today At My Bay!

Are you now underwhelmed with me? Are you overwhelmed with glee? Are you just whelmed today? Are you annoyed with the questions on display? See where this is going? You will be whelmed with my showing.

Over, under around and through,
Well at least two are true.
Over and under,
Sound off like thunder.

Overwhelmed, underwhelmed,
But whelmed is never helmed.
Why is that?
Normal is a bad stat?

Underlying, overlying,
No lying is given a trying?
Is sleeping bad?
Not for my pad.

Underpriced, overpriced,
Priced just got diced.
For no matter the price,
Some times it isn't nice.

Undershot, overshot,
But shot is never hot to trot.
Then who wants to be shot?
It would hurt a lot.

Undertax, overtax,
With tax no one can relax.
Piss off the IRS,
And you are in a tax mess.

Overworked, underworked.
Worked is not clerked.
For you are doing it wrong,
If just worked sings its song.

Underused, overused,
Used just sounds abused.
So maybe not being used,
Leaves one amused.

Overtaken, Undertaken.
Taken you aren't makin.
Why is that?
Beats the cat.

Underwrote, over wrote.
Wrote is the right note.
For it was the same,
With my over, under claim.

Did you catch on? Are you over my con? Under my spell? Did this confuse or cause hell? I suppose it might. But that is fine to take flight. The cat is overly confusing some days with his rhyme maze. So now I will go plunder some grass with my whelmed little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Where We're At It's Lazy Kombat!

I was lying on the center island and licking my ass when up jumped Cass. She wanted the spot to herself. I guess she got bored of the cat shelf. Then this came to pass. Aren't I a laid back little rhyming ass?




Who will be next up?
Dan and his pup?
Brian with the killer hat?
It is razor sharp where he's at.

Adam with a fact chat?
He'll fact you to death, then splat.
Old one eye to scare?
She wants to steal your eye so she'll have a spare.
 
Gloria uses poison food, so beware.
She'll laugh without a care.
Robyn with Martha Stewart bare.
Damn, that is a fatality right there.

Sherry and her killer duck bill?
Betsy and her cat hill?
They'll all charge you.
Might have a rabbit in there too.

Hank wanting to be number one?
That means he'll make you done.
Blue beating you with one shoe?
That fatality would be new.

Halloween Nazi and her boiling pot?
That would hurt a whole lot.
Manzi turning you into a worm?
She then stomps on you as you squirm.

The redneck turns you into a giant zit,
Then she sticks out her finger and pops it.
The tabbies think you are a burd.
Yeah, they attack, and that's how they spell that word.

The beer guys double team.
Their team isn't really a dream.
They make your balls stick to a wall.
If you don't have any, their draw some on you, that's all.

Anne will get you with paint fumes.
Then plant you like mushrooms.
Then she'll dose you in fire,
And watch as you burn and expire.

Blabber pelting you with shampoo?
Could be clean then at your zoo.
Who will be next up to fight?
Will they have the might?


There you are. Enjoy the Lazy Kombat at our sand bar? We really get it done. I even made Cassie run. That is a score for me. Then I went where you can't see. So who is next up to bat? Can you top the Lazy Kombat of the cat? Hey, it was only Cass. If a dog shows up, I'm more of a Mortal Kombat little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Check The Cheque By Checking The Check!

A cheat blog post title rhyme, but that is not so much of a crime. Hey, the spelling is different at least. The nature of the English beast. Maybe through in a bloody hell. Wanker could be an easy sell. But keep the spotted dick. Anyway, on to the check or cheque or maybe checkque pick.

Got your things.
Got your stuff.
The joys of kings,
Or maybe dandruff.

Reach for cash.
Reach for cards.
Blink an eye lash,
Pissing off bards.

They hum and haw.
They roll their eyes.
You have a flaw,
But think you are wise.

A check is here.
A cheque is there.
You bring it near,
Without a care.

It will save you.
It will save all.
Just let them stew,
It is not last call.

You sign and sign.
Asking the amount.
Is your brain fine,
As you clearly can't count.

Ask a third time.
Maybe even a fourth.
Bring out a dime.
Wish they'd ship you far north.

You smile and wave.
The check is done.
All are closer to their grave,
After your cheque fun.

But you screwed a banker,
You got stuff for free.
You laugh like a wanker,
For a few days they won't charge thee.

Whoops, the money is gone.
Whoops you're a nut.
Fell for your own con,
Check the cheques up your butt.

Who uses checks at the friggin store any more anyway? I mean is it so hard to use a debit card on the little card display. You aren't gaining anything in the end, just driving all around the bend. The banks are fast you know, unless in some secluded land you go. Then they may tell you to stuff your cheques in mass. That works fine for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

A But Rut!

That is but not butt, so no excitement for a mutt. But the buts will have it with my but fit. Are you confused? But I'm oh so amused. Now on with the but show. But I want to give it a go.

The magic word,
That flips the bird.
No need to swear.
No need for fare.

You're in luck.
It don't suck.
Pass the but,
Get in a rut.

I would help but...
Don't make the cut.
I don't mean to brag but...
Look, no gut.

I meant to do that but...
I was watching smut.
I would do that but...
I'd rather putt.

I'd do that but..
I'm too much of a nut.
I would have fixed that but...
I am fine with my hut.

But's the word.
But's the turd.
But's the smell,
That raises hell.

No but's from you.
Do it at your zoo.
But is long gone.
But is a con.

But I can't.
Says the ant.
Stepped on it goes.
But caused woes.

But I'm through.
But you're new.
But I don't know.
Buts can show.

Are you in on the but?
Think I'm a nut?
But at least I'm fun.
But now I'm done.

Have fun with the buts at your place? Do buts you embrace? Maybe butts and not buts or buts and butts. Butts in but ruts. But no need to but with sass with your but mass. Give your but with class to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Your Design Isn't Fine!

So the cat was hopping here and there the other day when he cam across some video that he hit play. I think I lost a few IQ points as I listened to it. Let's just say it was full of more than spit.

Humans are designed to eat meat!
Nope, not even as a treat.
The cat will skip the meat,
As that is just the same old beat.

Design is more fun.
Let's give it a run.
You were designed?
Hmmm I hope all the papers were signed.

Did they start with the toe?
Damned if I know.
Designed in a barn?
Maybe made out of yarn?

Were we all designed the same?
Damn, that would just be lame.
Maybe there was a hiccup in the machine.
Some got designed mean.

At least the designer can draw.
Bad drawing should be against the law.
Coming out like Bigfoot wouldn't be grand
No wonder he hides across the land.

No fun baby making is had.
That is just a fad.
You weren't made in back of a cab.
Nope, you were designed in a lab.

Hmm which is worse?
Hey, it beats a hearse.
You can even update your design,
If your design isn't fine.

The plastic is there.
Even some fake hair.
We can add to it.
Or some other umm spit.

I designed this post.
Damn, I'm a designing host.
Maybe I'll get that gig.
Make a human in need of a bad wig.

Designed like a store.
Designed and nothing more.
Sex is just a myth.
Design a human to be with.

Pfffft such idiots out there trying to push their crap. Do they even think before they flap? I guess the answer to that is a big fat no. Morons think what works for one works for all high and low. Their design obviously has a bad case of gas. I am done being a designing little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Give, Give, Give So All Can Live!

So the other day the cat was arguing with a nut who likes to be stuck in a rut. They think all should be handed to them on a silver platter, where  from, it doesn't matter. But oh yes they say, in order to get out of any mess rich people should pay.

The rich can be pricks.
But so can hicks.
Rich just get away with more,
As they have the cash at their shore.

They have so much cash though,
That a giving they should go.
They should give to one and all.
The oh so less fortunate at their hall.

It would make the world a great place.
The rich with a giving embrace.
Yeah, that will make all cheery.
Hmmm ummm that is one theory.

Some have the silver spoon,
Most are a stupid loon.
Others are egotistical arse holes.
But some got it through goals.

Yet, all should just give?
They will help all live.
Like the lazy people who can't get off their ass,
And sit expecting a free pass.

Say they give to one,
Who really needs it done.
What happens next though?
Three guesses at your show.

Five more come whining.
It becomes like gold mining.
Fifty more come after.
Soon thousands are hanging from every rafter.

All with a sad tale,
Wanting money by the pail.
A hand out thinking they deserve it.
Then back home they go and sit.

The rich will be okay though,
As the whiners, scam artists and crazies show.
After all they are rich as can be.
They should give to you and me.

Pffft why would they want that?
Humans on them like scat.
They do something nice once,
Then they have to fend off every single dunce.

Are rich people jerks? Yeah many, not all, have those not so great perks. Do some people really need help? Yeah, they do when they yelp. But should rich people give and put up with all the shit? Nope, not one single bit. I wouldn't if I was at all. Maybe anonymously at my hall. But never come out and do it because you would have to deal with every poor pitiful me nitwit. You can live in a fantasy world where people wouldn't come out of the woodwork, but you'd get them thinking it was a perk. And if you give to one and not another, they'd call you a meanie, arse hole, racist, prejudice or whatever else as they curse your mother. It's too bad there is such a whiny, self entitled class. End rant from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

So Sad When You Are Blantantly Bad!

Have you seen some authors that make you go what the umm duck? Maybe you have lots of luck. If not you are probably nodding yes. There seem to be more rather than less. Not trying to knock anyone at my sea, but some things are clear even to a cat sitting in a tree.

The title is great.
Such a nice fate.
Different title on the cover?
Hmmm a two title lover?

The title is still great,
It will sell out of the gate.
Spelled differently on each.
Are you trying to teach?

My description is grand.
The best in the land.
You won't want to miss.
It simply says, "read this."

No, wait!
That's not my fate.
It says something more.
"Red this" is the encore.

Red like a bull?
Hmm are you just full?
You know bull and spit.
Or something like it.

Stuck in the sand.
Isn't it grand.
Sinking below.
What do you know?

A big long description.
Quite the depiction.
Hes, gooes, and reding are great.
Good luck with that, mate.

A preview is here.
Read without fear.
Copyright in Atlata stat.
Damn, how did you get that?

Back to the cover.
Aren't all just a lover?
Paint and some text are grand.
It will hit every stand.

Slap my hand.
Take a stand.
Red it today,
For little pay.

There is just some people that either are lazy as can be or should really take 50 more looks at their sea. Little things like that should easily be caught. One or two small mistakes won't hurt a lot, but blatant ones like that, sure do confuse the cat. Have you seen any come to pass? They sure get some head shaking from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Hook Or By Look!

You humans and your eyes. You think you are so wise. You see but don't see. Are you following me? I guess we shall see. See, again from me. A see type spree. Don't give that look to me.

What's in a look?
Could write a book.
Whoops, already do that.
Excuse the rhyming cat.

Look you looked.
Your look has been booked.
But did your look see,
What came to be?

Look up, look down.
Look driving through town.
Look in, look out.
Look and shout.

Twist and look.
Look what I did at my nook.
Catch that look?
See, off the hook.

Hook of the look.
Look of the hook.
Look that you took,
From castle to rook.

All from a look.
That one took.
Simple as see.
Following me?

Look beyond, look within.
Look until you can win.
Look around, look without.
Look at you become a trout.

Fish out of water,
Or maybe an otter.
A funny looking beaver?
Look, a meat cleaver.

Look, but do you see?
Looking beyond thee?
Stuck in a look.
Hook or by crook.

Stuck with the look.
Not seeing you cook.
Look and not see.
Look, done with my spree.

Are you looking at me strange? Look, some spare change. Oops, you missed out. Do you look while out and about? Or do you just drive or walk or strut or wiggle your butt, as you go from hut to hut? Look but not see has sure come to many. They are on a phone giving sass. They wouldn't even see a billboard featuring my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Step By Step To Get Pep!

Ready to be like old one eye? Ready to step until you die? Step right up at my sea. Step in it with glee. Unless you step in crap. Then you may not be a happy stepping chap.

A step by step guide.
Come take he ride.
Create a better life.
Free from the strife.

One, two, three.
Magic as can be.
Three, two, one.
Your work is done.

Following steps is great.
Start stepping, mate.
Soon you'll be like me.
Stepping and oh so happy.

10 steps to get rich.
Come scratch that itch.
20 steps to get a wife,
Or husband in your life.

Wait, husband is 2 steps.
Consult the book reps.
10 steps to de-clutter.
May even rid you of a stutter.

15 steps to become OCD.
Err um rid it from thee.
6 steps to writing a book.
Read a book to write a book at your nook.

5 steps to being debt free.
What, I can't spend money?
Then how can I buy the book?
Bad logic at your nook.

4 steps to getting a better job.
Damn, I can't go to a bank and rob?
6 steps to eating right.
Pffft drop dead at night.

7 steps to understanding your pet.
A nut case you can bet.
365 steps for your great year.
On a leap year you may cause fear.

60 steps to the door.
80 steps until I hear you no more.
100 steps until you are out of sight.
125 steps seems about right.

Aren't you ready to step out and twist and shout? Life can be great stepping away. Learn how not to make your life go astray. One step, two step, three step, four. Come on up and take the stepping tour. 6 steps to get rich = you make me rich well you waste your time on 6 steps with my pitch. Most, not all, the self help and stepping crap is simple stuff that should be known by any chap. Can I get 10 steps to reducing gas? That may help my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

A Blog Detention Convention!

It seems someone out there got the whole class detention. I hear they made some perverted mention. I wonder what it was? Maybe I'll look into the buzz. Felines were exempt though. I guess they had no room for litter boxes lined up in a row.

Hank was first.
Betsy was not.
Her feet had thirst.
Is Hank a #1 robot?

Brian tried to take over.
Mary went along.
She even brought rover.
It tried to sing a song.

Old one eye was there.
Jax yapped about hair.
Her head was bare.
Old one eye didn't care.

Adam had a fact.
Snowcatcher rode in.
She was caught in the act.
Adam thought it was a win.

Rosey had some mail.
Theresa whined about being stuck
Together they tried not to fail.
They wanted to give away a buck.

Fundy Blue made all yellow
Claudia thought that was neat.
Fundy Blue turned her mellow,
As she sketched street.

Mary Kirkland held a rat.
Elizabeth Seckman wanted out.
The rat peed on a hat.
That made many shout.

Humbird hummed a tune.
Anne was just drunk.
It was nearing noon.
The smell resembled a skunk.

The ninja wannabe tried to strum.
Betty viewed all from a bench.
A broken guitar made him glum.
He wished he had a wrench.

Stephanie Ferris wrote a note.
Manzanita hide at the back.
That was soon all they wrote.
All suffered a worm attack.

The cat can ship you all worm pills if you like. That will make those things take a hike. But who was the cause of this detention? R never got a mention. I guess it was his fault. He let too many words slip from the vault. It made all get locked up in mass. Just keep those worms away from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

A Rosey Request Put To The Test!

So the cat was yapping about this or that a while back at our blog mat and Rosey revealed a detail that was a real fail. What was that you ask? Today you find out as we rectify that task.

Something not seen.
It is very unclean.
Can stick between your toes.
Cause humans woes.

But it has to come.
Not out the bum.
Or any kind of gutter.
Snip snip, don't stutter.

It is more than that.
It is only from a cat.
Well maybe a dog too,
If some nasty stuff they chew.

But what could it be?
A flea on a knee?
A hair up the nose?
Gas smelling like a rose?

All good guesses from you.
But wrong at my zoo.
Then again she may not have done those as well.
But first we have to rectify this hell.

Not 666 and it's tricks.
We've given her such licks.
Hey, maybe it's a lick?
Again, a very wrong pick.

But licking is in need.
It has to take seed.
Part of the process of it.
More than a little bit.

So a lick and spit.
Have you got it?
I know a few have it.
Cheat rhyme, just a bit.

But I was hacking.
It was attacking.
How can this be?
My poor old tummy.

Blah it goes.
Watch you toes.
Can even splat the wall.
We are talking the hairball.


Rosey, that was just for you. Now you've seen a hairball at your zoo. Aren't you so impressed and glad that you confessed? Scratch that off your list. It isn't something to be missed. Was it your first time as well? Don't be afraid to tell. Now I will pass some gas and go lick my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, June 5, 2015

A Place To Go For A Show!

It is warm and there is no snow storm. So what can you do? Why go out and about at your zoo. Yeah, we are fine ones to talk. We barely go out for a walk. Hey, we run around here. That helps us keep a toned rear.

Where to go?
Where to be?
High and low.
From sea to sea.

The dead will rise.
The young will bite.
So be rather wise,
And stay in at night.

The balls will bounce.
The cars will drive.
Might gain an ounce,
But you'll survive.

Where am I going?
What am I saying?
Just start rowing.
Follow my playing.

The sand is there.
The water is clear.
But just beware,
Sand in the rear.

The hills are tall.
The lake is round.
Climb a great wall.
That would astound.

Where are you?
Where did you go?
To a petting zoo?
Do I want to know?

Pet a little.
Pet a lot.
If it's brittle,
Don't get caught.

Hop a train.
Hop a plane.
Choose the fast lane.
Unlock the chain.

Now you know.
Now you can do.
With my flow,
All is true.

True as can be, here at my sea. Don't believe me? Bah, just go fly free. Hmm some of that sounds wrong. Maybe try ping pong? It is up to you, but much one can do. Now I will go trespass and be a criminal little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

A Fact Stream Of Your Team?

A little sports facts for today the cat decided to put on display. Did you know them already? They will come steady. Of course I went for some weird ones. There do seem to be tons.

MLB umpires can't wear tighty whities on the field.
Nope, they have to yield.
They need to wear black underwear.
So if they split their pants, no one will care.

The average lifespan of a major league baseball,
The ones they don't hit over the wall,
Is five to seven pitches.
Damn, they need better stitches.

In Thailand one sport is so grand,
Even if everywhere else it is bland.
Kite flying is a professional sport.
Ummm do they have their own court?

The Olympic rings cover ever flag on Earth.
Yep, they sure are something of worth.
At least one color out of five,
Appear on every flag alive.

Golf is the only sport to be played on the moon.
You mean that was not just a cartoon?
Anyone can win there,
With no gravity to spare.

Tetherball has origins like no other.
It could scare your mother.
A Tartar ritual where you chop off your enemies head,
Tie it to a rope and whack it around until bed.

60 percent of the rich NBA guys,
Are sure not financially wise.
They blow their whole fortune in 5 years.
I bet that gets them no cheers.

The average mouth guard is as nasty as can be.
Not only does it have spittle from thee,
But it has blood, chemicals and fecal matter.
Ummm they must be quite the shitty chatter.

The volleyball used to come from some place strange,
Thankfully that eventually did change.
It came from the bladder of a basketball.
Can you have a bladder if you never go at all?

Japanese golfers carry hole in one insurance.
I guess they need that extra assurance.
Or maybe there is a hole in their head?
Either way, the insurance industry gets fed.

Do you carry golf insurance for a hole in one? You may not want to answer that under my sun. Does a basketball really have a bladder within? Not being able to go has to be a sin. The cat is done with his sass and off I go sporting my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Beat The Heat With A Delete!

Think it should be hot by now? Hmmm it may be for a grazing cow. That sun can get as hot as can be if you are beneath it all day at your sea. Shouldn't I know you may ask? Well it is only -4 degrees Celsius as I do up this task. Does the cat being six months ahead fill you with dread?


Insecure you say?
 Throw it away.
It is that easy.
Nope, not being cheesy.

Well maybe so.
But bury it below.
Let it go.
Frozen, I know.

Like the heat,
You can't get beat.
If you do,
Red equals your view.

Burnt to a crisp.
No wind to wisp.
You avoided the shade.
Is that a fair trade?

What was that, cat?
How can insecurity relate to that?
  It's as easy as can be.
Just follow along with me.

To beat the sun,
And still have fun,
You wear a hat.
How about that?

You stay in the shade.
Sun block you trade.
Or maybe buy.
Warning, some of that can make you die.

But I digress.
Time to confess.
It isn't as easy as one, two, three.
Nope, it's as easy as thee.

Things can be done to block the sun,
So you can run and have fun.
Insecurity can be beat the same way.
You can decide whether or not to let it play.

Simply find a way.
It's that easy, okay?
Take a break and do something new.
Tell that nasty old insecurity to shoo.

Did the cat make sense? Are you over your insecurity fence? Watch that you don't get stuck in the bum. That may hurt there, chum. The cat just doesn't let insecurity trespass. Plus it helps to be a crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

A Third Host At Our Coast!

The cat has discovered the real thing. There is a third cat at our wing. It showed itself the other day while I was in the litter tray. This could be big to all. I could sell tickets at my hall.

There I was taking a crap,
While Cassie was having a nap.
Then we saw a light.
It didn't give a fright.

Should I be scared of blue?
Nope, not at my zoo.
Blue isn't very scary.
But the thing wasn't hairy.

It took that to heart.
I let out a fart.
I buried the crap,
Keeping an eye on the chap.

That takes some skill.
Then we went in for the kill.
Cassie and I slunk along.
This thing smelled all wrong.

Mainly because it did not smell.
Deodorant would be a tough sell.
Poor axe may go under,
If the smell this thing does plunder.

But with that aside,
We got ready to send it for a ride.
No other cats allowed here.
I am not a nice little rhyming rear.

Dogs are okay.
But cat's, no way.
Cassie just hates all.
Where was I at my hall?

Oh yes, the thing.
We gave a meow ring,
Then we hopped to it.
There it still did sit.

Bad grammar and all,
We hit the wall.
As in we went right through,
The thing and its blue.

So we got a picture of it.
Made sure it was well lit.
And now we have proven ghosts are real.
We are awaiting our movie deal.


Ever see a ghost like that? What, you don't believe the cat? The evidence is right in front of you. Next week we'll find big foot for you. At least the ghost cat won't eat any of our bass. That works for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, June 1, 2015

What Was That? Head Of A Cat?

The cat is back on the tune trail today. May curse me after hitting play. Not by what you see, unless you don't like the butt of me, but by what you hear. An ear worm may just come near.



What's in your head
What's in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head.

Not in your toes
Not in your feet
Bow down and admit defeat.

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Not in your shin,
Not in your knee.
Not even down where you pee.

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Not in your tummy
Not in your bum.
And you can't play dumb.

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Not in your arm.
Not in your hand.
I didn't even need a band.

Stuck in your head.
Stuck in your head.
This song is now stuck in your head.

Back behind the eyes,
In between the ears.
Let's give three cheers,

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head.

Did it get stuck? Did you la la la to avoid such luck? Betsy does that, she's on to the cat. The cat had to give that a go as it just popped in at my show. Who knows why, well maybe to annoy each girl and guy. The cat likes to do that in mass. So much fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.