Saturday, October 31, 2015

A Future Day As The Ghosts Play!

So way back when Halloween started someone must have farted. That is the only reason for this. The Celts sure were amiss. It was said that because spirits and everything were out and about, seeing the future was as easy as catching a trout.

I can do it too.
Right here at my zoo.
No need for a boo.
I can do it on the loo.

Just a little flick.
I'll do it right slick.
Brick by flippin brick,
Everything will click.

Don't believe me?
Go climb a tree.
Human stuck in a tree.
That would be a sight to see.

The future is here.
I can see it in my sphere.
It is so easy to peer.
No need to shed a tear.

What was that?
Where are you at?
Listen to the cat.
I'll chew the fat.

You are here.
You are near.
You have no fear,
Of my rhyming rear.

Wow, I'm wise.
The future flies.
No second tries.
I tell you no lies.

You read my post.
You read it at my coast.
Read or read boast.
Say it right like most?

Or maybe say it wrong.
Sing the same old song.
Why not sing along.
Rap like Donkey Kong.

And now for the mess,
I saw so much less.
Because as "publish" I press,
It's still June I confess.

Maybe on Halloween night I'll see so much more. Do you think so at your shore? Do you think the future can be seen on that day of Halloween? Pfffft says the cat and Santa decided to drop the fat. Silly humans are found in mass. But you amuse my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Here Come The Dumb Who've Had Too Much Rum!

The cat has noticed a thing here and there, like I always do at my lair, some people just can't be helped out. They are stupider than a trout. That actually may be offending the trout. Off with another rhyme I spout.

There are people that are fat.
There are people that are small.
There are people that are scat.
But one likes to rule them all.

There are people that are whiny.
There are people that are broke.
There are people that are tiny.
But one likes to be the dumbest bloke.

There are people that are tall.
There are people that are short.
There are people that fall.
But one rules this report.

There are people that are slow.
There are people that are fast.
There are people that need to grow.
But one is stuck in the neanderthal past.

These people are the top.
These people are the low.
These people can't stop,
Giving IQ points a lethal blow.

These people always fail.
These people always blink.
These people always wail,
Making you want to drown yourself in the sink.

These people are a drain.
These people are a pain.
These people have no brain,
It hopped to the fast lane.

These people are a dunce.
These people are a schmuck.
These people can be fooled more than once.
These people are denser than a truck.

These people won't get this.
These people will walk away.
This people have idiot bliss,
Come whatever will may.

Find them in the road,
Find them on the lawn.
Go and find a toad,
You'll likely teach it more before dawn.

Ever met a person who was so ditsy and dumb that there is more sense in a dog that sniffs a bum? One said I'd like to know how you get paid on the Internet, there is no debit machine. Where do the bills go? Yeah, I just couldn't at my scene. I'd get dumber from sinking that low. A mutt has waaay more sense. Some people are just dense. Now that cat is through with his sass. Don't go sticking any bills up my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

The Beat Of The Treat!

Halloween is near and all the kiddies will shake their rear. Out they will go and run to and fro. They will want a treat, something that is sweet. And if you don't give one, you may get a TP run. That is a treat for me, but maybe not for thee.

The beat of the treat.
The treat is so sweet.
Be the treat to beat,
With your meet and greet.

A toothbrush treat,
Will get a delete.
Won't be a repeat,
Near your concrete.

The beat of the treat,
With a meet and greet,
Brings the treat to beat.
A treat that is sweet.

A gift card treat,
Isn't very neat.
Santa may tweet,
You walked his beat.

The treat on a beat.
The beat of the treat.
The treat so sweet,
It's the treat to beat.

The coffee treat,
For a kid fleet,
Won't be neat.
But could be sweet.

The sweet in the treat,
The sweet to beat.
Beat the sweet,
In the sweet treat.

The I owe you treat,
Will hit the street.
You'll get a treat.
A TP meet and greet.

Meat of the treat.
Meets with the treat.
Treat with no meat.
Leaves less to meet.

With your meet and greet,
Meet the beat of the treat.
Or the treat and the meet,
Treats you to a delete to beat.

Get my treat beat? Was it so sweet? Did you meet and greet the beat of the treat or hit the street on repeat? Saying that three times fast is a treat. Trust my rhyming ass so sweet. A sweet ass is neat? Hey, could be a treat. Now the beat of the treat has come to pass and I'll go treat my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

A Hypothetical Day Here At My Bay!

The cat was reading a hypothetical thingy the other day and they wanted to know what you'd say. Or it was how you'd hide a body after a kill. Hmm, doesn't that just give you a thrill?

Hypothetically, which would you rather be.
An apple on a tree.
An orange in the sea,
Or a banana tripping me?

Did you pick three?
Damn, now I know you hate me.
Wait, it was hypothetical, right?
So can't hold that against you at my site.

Hypothetically, what would you rather do?
Sit on a shiny public loo,
Wrestle with a kangaroo,
Or steal the blue guy's shoe?

Back to number three?
How dare thee.
Oh wait, still hypothetical and all,
Here at my hall.

Hypothetically, which would you rather see.
A dog taking a pee,
A flea on your knee,
Or the cat stuck in a tree?

Still stuck on three?
I'll curse thee.
What? Hypothetical is the name of the game?
Damn, I guess I'll remain tame.

Hypothetically, which would you rather eat.
Cow testicles picked off the street,
Salamander ever so sweet,
Or the blue guy's shoe?

Was that number three?
A tough choice for thee?
Leather can be tasty.
Unless it's too pasty.

Hypothetically, how would you win a bet?
Play far and hope it's met,
Cheat and leave another in defeat,
Or let the cat handle the meet and greet?

You still stuck on three? Damn, you proved my point at my sea. Hypothetical questions can be used to see into your mind. You are a strange human kind. Hypothetically, would the cat enslave you all? Yep, like heads on a wall. What? It was hypothetical of me. I wouldn't really do it at my sea. Hmm, at least I'd leave you happy like the singing bass. He is always fun for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Back With A Scare By The Pair!

The cat was sniffing around, not butts like a hound, but actual stuff we can use at my sea. I found plenty of news for thee. All of it had to do with Horror movies too. I guess it is the time of year when they are in view.

Ghoulies will get a reboot.
They'll pop out and toot.
Isn't that grand?
Ghoulies walking hand and hand.

Michael VS Jason VS Chucky is near.
Don't you want to peer?
Two guys who kill,
And a doll out for a thrill.

It's Casper The Mean Ghost!
He's going to show from coast to coast.
He'll steal all your stuff,
Doing it in the buff.

Hocus Pocus 2 is being done.
A talking cat is such fun.
This time there will be two.
Nope, none from my zoo.

Ernest Scared Stupid is up for a remake.
Yep, time for a double take.
Ernest will be played by Shia this time.
Damn, that is such a crime.

A new house will be haunted.
The humans will be taunted.
Amityville they will name it.
Hint, it'll still be shit.

Pet Cemetery gets a redo.
A cat stars in this one too.
A cat starts it all.
That will drive people up the wall.

Demons 3 is coming.
Demons 2 was out chumming.
So Demons 3 won out.
What was Demons 1 even about?

The Exorcism of...
Will come from above.
Who cares for the name,
It's all the same.

Mars Attacks 2 is ready.
The aliens will come steady.
What? Can't that scare?
They'll be so small they'll crawl around in your underwear.

Yep, it is all, maybe, sorta, true. I sniffed out the news for you. Now next Halloween you'll have plenty to see and you were given the scoop by me. I should get a kickback for that. Humans need to pay this cat. Then I could just rhyme with sass. That would suit my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Max With No Rhyme, Such A Crime!

Geez, Pat and his non rhyming books. They deserve no looks. Did the cat say that? Whoops, sorry Pat. So today is another novel that has come due. It is actually book number two. Max Blizzard has come back in Max Blizzard and The Cup of Kings at his Camelot shack.


Max Blizzard and his friends, Trudesile and Lester, had saved all the realms from Sir Dreadvent and his sevesties. Max had been enjoying time with his father, Merlin, when things started to unravel. One by one the rulers of each realm began to go missing. From Zeus to Odin to King Arthur, they all vanished without a trace.

Now Max and his friends, along with some new and old allies, must come together to save the realms again. They will journey from Camelot to Shangri-La to the mysterious Atlantis, encounter giants, genies and Freleoms. Their imagination power will grow and they may even see what lies beyond death. All in a race to get to The Cup of Kings and save the rulers of every realm before it is to late.

It even has a giant bunny.
Don't you think that is funny?
Bazooka is the name.
Pat is so lame.

It even has a mutt.
That thing sniffs a butt.
I guess it does anyway.
I really can't say.


Death comes into play.
The actual boney guy with lots to say.
And much, much more.
I had to rhyme at my shore.

So there is another novel to add to the batch. How many more will we hatch? Beats the heck out of me. But I'm sure there will be more at our sea. Now back to the regular rhyming sass from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

A Scare For Your Neck Hair!

Do you need a date? Want to find a mate? No superstitions need be had, just hop on a dating site at your pad. Look below. Maybe you'll find one you want to give a go.

I'm originally from a small town living in a small town.
Wow, how were you able to write that down.
Love sports. Love soccer. Love softball.
Hmm, redundant much at your hall?

I'm a very simple woman with expensive taste.
Call oxymorons r us, no time to waste.
Things I don't like: Flakes....Things I do like: Snow flakes...
I guess you want to weed out the fakes?

I like travelinngoutdoor
What? You mean indoors you can't explore?
Raised in the middle of the woods
Deliverance is not fine in any hoods.

I'm not much of a good speller(I hat it realy)
And you were doing so well with the spelling dealy.
My mom thinks I'm the best
Glad you can pass the mommy test.

I'm an easy going girl who would like to meet someone similiar to me.
So looking for a girl who is easy?
I could sayings but I'll save that.
No going to saying the cat?

I' m a 3 two year old woman looking to see what's out there.
And still can't type right with years to spare.
Will update at a lader time
Do I have to get a ladder and climb?

I don't bit.
The cat may bite because of it.
Rock n socks with me.
Don't they roll and live free?

Freak lunchbox
I'll take the one with socks.
I like to pay poker.
Hope you avoid the dreaded joker.

Come to my door and speak.
Sorry, not a mutt at our creek.
Houses are my things.
Do any have wings?

No shit on, no chat.
Think you forgot a R where you're at.
But if shit is what you want,
The cat has jars of it at his haunt.

So there you are. Now you can have some strange/scary dates for Halloween at your sand bar. The cat can always hook you up if you want. Or he'll just sit here and taunt. Any you want to grab from the above dating class? Wise not to tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

When You Go Black You Get A Heart Attack?

Stupid humans far and wide. Oh no, I saw black, now someone died. Pffft, idiot humans I'll say once more. What am I going on about at my shore? As if you didn't know. Now away I go.

Oh no, everyone run.
Haul out your big gun.
Be a stupid idiot far and wide.
Take your idiocy in stride.

Run the other way.
Have a great day.
There is a cat on display,
And it sure as hell isn't grey.

It is BLACK!
I might have a heart attack.
Brain cells I lack.
I also don't step on a crack.

Black cats bring bad luck.
I'm such a stupid schmuck.
I believe it to be true.
Can't they spray paint it blue?

Oh no, it's coming near.
I might lose an ear.
Black cats are such bad luck.
I might blow up in my truck.

Hmm, cats and luck?
Yeah, you are a schmuck.
Luck is a human creation,
So change the damn station.

But if you must,
Like in luck you trust,
Here is the truth,
For your little lucky booth.

Black cats or grey cats,
Big rats or small rats,
Humper dog or purse dog,
Small hog or fat hog,

You can be an idiot and pass the buck,
But not a one of them will give you bad luck.
Passing by a tree or telephone pole,
Or even passing a cheery mole,

All are the same.
Your superstition is lame.
Whoops, cat's out of the bag,
You wave the idiot flag.

Actually saw a nut afraid of a black cat before. Pffft so funny, in a pathetic kind of way, to watch at my shore. Grown human afraid to walk by a cat. Idiot is the correct name for that. Scared of black cats at your sea? Better not tell me. But you can tell the singing bass, he won't tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 23, 2015

I Meant To At My Zoo!

The cat is so slack today. I meant to write a post at my bay but it just slipped my mind. How could that be done by my behind? That just can't be. I ruined my streak at my sea.

I meant to write a post,
But instead I chased a ghost.
Hmm, maybe just a shadow on the wall.
It was moving and needed to be stopped, that's all.

I meant to write a rhyme,
But I wasted my time.
I watched YouTube videos all day.
I just kept pushing play.

I meant to just write.
But it was too night.
Yep, way too dark.
So I listened to a dog bark.

I meant to write a post,
But I was a slacker host.
I cleaned the place.
Hey, need a clean space.

I meant to write a rhyme,
But I committed a crime.
I fell asleep at the keyboard.
I'll need forgiveness from the lord.

I meant to just write,
But then I saw the light.
Yep, I saw the light.
It was small, red and bright.

I mean to write a post,
It would turn out like most.
But then I had to eat.
Damn, it was a fine treat.

I meant to write a rhyme,
But then I saw a mime.
I had to give it a kick.
He hit me with a fake brick.

I meant to just write,
But I didn't just for spite.
The computer was slow.
So I went and watched a crow.

I meant to...
At my zoo,
But had others things to do.
I really did mean to.

Can't believe I meant to and I missed out. Damn that juicy trout. The cat had to have a snack. Wait, did I post at my shack? Maybe it happened while asleep at the keyboard. This post was just stored. I meant to watch a cat video and give sass. I'm just a meaningful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Boppity Blue And The Kangaroo!

The cat is back once more with another book at his shore. The blue guy whined so much about his shoe that this one just came through. Yep, the blue guy got the spotlight. His shoe fear is a plight.

Boppity Blue had to poo.
So he stopped to let it come due.
Hope he had some tp.
A leaf would be nasty to me.

But before he could go,
He met a new foe.
A kangaroo in the trees.
He hopped up while Boppity Blue was bent at the knees.

He stole his shoe.
Boppity Blue couldn't let that come due.
So he stopped his poo,
And went after his shoe.

A shoe and a kangaroo,
The kangaroo wanted to chew.
Boppity Blue wanted his shoe.
What is Boppity Blue to do?

Will he get his shoe?
Will he get his poo?
Have to ask Boppity Blue,
As he goes after the shoe stealing kangaroo.












What was that? Hey, shit wasn't said by the cat. It is just scat. Sometimes you have to hop in the woods and do that. Beats a nasty loo. I just hope you don't run into a shoe stealing kangaroo. Could be worse though. A bear could show. Now Boppity Blue has come to pass so the blue guy can find his shoe thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Need A Man? Become A Halloween Fan!

The cat finds all kinds of ridiculous things around, but you humans can really astound. Are you that simple at your sea? Yeah, it really doesn't surprise me.

When you're in need,
And Halloween is near,
Come plant a seed,
And a man will appear.

Bury a ring in a potato plate.
Then sit around and hope.
Halloween is the date,
Where you'll catch a dope.

The guy who eats it is your mate.
There is no other for you.
So just trust good old fate,
And wait for him to step in view.

Name hazelnuts at your sea.
Name them guy 1, 2 and 3.
Then go on a pyro spree.
Throw them in a fire with glee.

The hazelnut that doesn't pop,
Or explode in the fire,
And instead burns non stop,
Will be the name of the guy you aspire.

Maybe make up a drink,
One from which diabetes will be had.
Yeah, not water from the sink,
That too is bad.

Fill it with sugar stuff,
Then suck it back.
You'll dream of the hot stuff,
And marry him at your shack.

Or just get an apple,
Then cut off the skin.
No need to grapple,
Toss it over your shoulder for the win.

Then turn and stare.
The peel is so wise.
It will make you be aware,
The face of your future guys.

But if that isn't for you,
Just start apple bobbing away.
The first to make it through,
Will marry the next day.

Geez, desperate much? Maybe more than a touch. Not sure if the guys did anything, but women sure wanted that ring. Superstitions far and wide. Glad such idiotic things died. But now we have more that I can sass, which I do with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Round Thirty Nine Is For The Feline!

So I've been saving the cat search terms up for a while of those who find me and my rhyming style. Google sure can send some strange ones. I'm not sure they are all about cats so we may offend nuns.

Nun pussy cats

I told you so. Think this searcher is going down below?

cat on my lap on my leg on my dick

My, you typed all of that? Guess you weren't killed by the cat.

Cat sore feet me

Hopefully it is your sore feet. Maybe a cat stole your seat?

pussy in the barn

Roll in the hay? Hope you itch a lot at your bay.

scared and lonely cat and fish

Maybe they want to make a wish. Or the cat wants the fish on a dish.

Jax with cat hair

Damn Jax, run out of shampoo there at your zoo?

cats in the cradle smothering baby

Hmm, get the hair puller. Cradle just a little fuller. 

cat towers r us

Not sharing. None we are sparing.

man cat loving

Hopefully not in the redneck way, otherwise it is okay.

cat hair up my nose

Sneeze it out. Don't pout.

cat hair in my 

In my what? Nose at your hut?

cat pulled my hair

Pat knows all about that. His armpit hair was pulled by the cat.

gf cats are the devil

Did they pee on you? What does the devil look like at her zoo?

pussy cats felines cat

You know you only need to search one, right? Such a waste of a search site.

And the winner of the cats brings out the dingbats. I guess the winner is always a dingbat. It is no different with cat. Are you surprised my this? I guess to each their bliss.

Human smelling cat ass on all fours

Does that get you umm ready? Turn you on steady? I hope not. That is scary a lot. I'll take a butt sniffing mutt any day over some redneck human at my bay. And now the cat search engine one has come to pass. No human will ever be sniffing my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 19, 2015

The Stupid Side Takes Pride!

The cat knows you have seen much here and there as you surf the internet at your lair, but did you know there is plenty of crap to help out each and every chap? Even criminals everywhere. My, the internet can blare.

How to create a fake stock.
Step by step as you walk.
Taken through all the steps of it.
Then you can get money from bullshit.

How to express love.
Damn, fits like a glove.
Not sure I want to see pics.
No need for porno flicks.

How to hide an erection.
Damn, I guess no love connection.
Kind of cancels number 2 out.
What's that all about?

How to take a shower.
My, that takes a superpower.
Turning the knob is so hard to do.
I can't take it at my zoo.

How to be random.
I can do it in tandem.
A goat is in a boat.
Random enough for a vote?

How to remove a staple from your hand.
Damn, having no brain must be grand.
Let's all go staple our hands today.
No? You and staples don't want to play?

How to change television channels.
Umm, do you use wall panels?
Too fat to get up and do it?
Don't know which button to hit?

How to fly in your dreams.
Wow, I can fly on moon beams.
That is so great.
No other how to can relate.

How to blink well.
Come now, do tell.
My eyes really want to know.
They only blink a thousand times a day at my show.

How to avoid going to hell.
The rules are as clear as a bell.
Don't go to Australia in the summer.
Expecting something more? Bummer!

Now you have lots of usual information at your sea. No need to thank me. I hope you all go take a shower now. You must be so stinky it would impress a cow. Knowing how to is a big win. Fly in those dreams at your looney bin. Now I'm done with this help for stupid people pass. I'm such a random little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Next Big Thing Gets Another Fling!

You humans throw that term around a lot. Next big thing is your only known plot. That or your new and improved crap, which had to be made by a brain dead sap. But we've been there. Let's go to a fun one at our lair. Cryptocurrency will replace all. Bitcoin will make the loonie and toonie fall.

Cryptocurrency is here.
Join and have no fear.
Why waste paper money.
This is far more sunny.

You don't need a wallet.
Well that is what they call it,
But your physical one can go away.
Where will you put the pics of your kids at your bay?

Do they even do that any more?
Beats me at my shore.
Cryptocurrency will take over.
It will even be used by rover.

Hmm, how many years have they said this?
My, cryptocurrency is such bliss.
But if it comes everything will be tracked.
So every little dime you make will be tax stacked.

Can't beat the IRS.
No need for a tax mess.
As every little thing will be taxed.
Your payment will be maxed.

Hold on for a bit with Bitcoin.
Don't you wanna join?
Dogecoin can reel you in.
Butt sniffers sure sounds like a win.

Mastercoin will make you bow down.
Your scuffed knees may make you frown.
Namecoin is the best name ever.
Isn't that just oh so clever?

Zerocoin takes that cake.
Zero coins you can make.
Potcoin says it all.
Pot heads stand tall.

So basically all you have to do,
Is think of a word at your zoo.
Then poof, you have a coin.
Maybe even a coin named after a loin?

Erectcoin just for you.
Throw in an IBScoin too.
Doesn't that make you smile?
Turn the cryptocurrency dial.

Got yourself any of these coins do you? It may come to pass in some form at many a zoo. I've got a few of the low tier ones, just in case they are ever worth tons. But doubt it very much at my sea. Have a fun name for a coin from thee? Yep, I named a coin after gas. That would only be done by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

What's With The Cow Anyhow?

The cat has seen it all, not really at his hall, but he likes to pretend. Hey, you humans just keep going further around the bend. First you have cow testicle eating festival things, now you think they have wings. Or maybe you can reverse that. Which came first, the cow or the pile of scat?

A holy cow!
That has to wow.
The thing can't meow.
But is holy somehow.

It eats and shits.
Eats even the apple pits.
Yum, yum, yum,
And then some.

Then hurls up the food,
Most find that rude.
But nope, not the cow.
It is holy somehow.

Eats once more.
Spit up at its shore.
A mutt can do that.
But nope, not holy for eating scat.

No holy mice.
No holy lice.
No holy sharks.
But sharks can leave holey marks.

See what I did there?
I'm sure you are aware.
Unless stuck with a holy cow.
Then I'd raise an eyebrow.

No holy horses.
No even holy golf courses.
The later would be sad.
Could make a Tiger glad.

Nope, just holy cows.
No whats, ifs or hows.
They are the holy ones.
Even when they have the runs.

Pigs supposedly can't fly.
Unless they go up when they die.
Dogs are supposedly a best friend,
Even if they butt sniff and bend.

Cats just rule all,
Don't mess with us at your hall.
But cows are holy.
That has to offend poor moly.

Holy moly can you believe that? You humans gave holy to an jumbo sized rat. You even drink their milk too. That is just so eww. Why not holy platypuses at every sea? At least they are funny looking to me. Nope, a lazy holy cow pass. There is no hope for you humans says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 16, 2015

They Are Real And After Your Meal!

Since it is Halloween month out there, the cat will let you in on something at my lair. Vampires are real. Yep, they are as real as your car wheel. They are full of more air to. But that we'll get to at my zoo.


Sadly they don't look like this,
At least 99.9% of the time as they hiss.
Still, who wants a dead thing?
That desperate at your wing?

Geez, just go to a bar.
Beats something like a wheel on a car.
Could work in a rubber there,
But that's too easy at my lair.

Back to vampires on display.
Real is what I say.
But you are shaking your head.
Hey, literal blood suckers I never said.

They are the poor pitiful me's.
They whine more than a stray has fleas.
Sucking you down into their pit.
Whining about any kind of shit.

They'll whine and whine and whine some more.
Sucking your life away at your shore.
They get a thrill from it to.
Hey, at least they don't yell, boo!

Do they turn you on as much as a dead thing?
I'll leave that for you to experience with a fling.
No need to tell that cat your fetish for the dead.
Keep that under your bed.

Yep, they'll whine about that too.
Poor me can't get a dead thing at my zoo.
Maybe they need to whine then.
Not even the dead want to come near their den.

No matter what you say,
They won't have a happy day.
Staying down in their hole,
Is their only goal.

And then bringing you into it,
Joining them in their hell pit.
Sucking your life away.
Those vampires are here to stay.

And don't worry all you lasses,
I like to appease the masses,
So I'll give you a sexy guy vampire too.
No need to thank me at my zoo.


Doesn't he just turn you on? Damn, I'm so helpful at my lawn. Know any such vampires at your sea? Hopefully you don't have fantasies about dead things and thee. But you can tell that to a singing bass. I don't need to know with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

A Little Helpful Day At My Bay!

The cat has searched far and wide, finding books that will fill you with pride. No need to thank me, just read and learn with glee. I bet you will enjoy each one. They sound oh so fun.

How to poo at work.
That has to be a perk.
Hover and don't touch.
Germs are there, much.

Toilet Yoga.
No need for a toga.
If you can't go,
Pose and out it will flow.

Pornogami is here.
Everyone give a cheer.
No need to give anything a yank.
Keep the gas in the tank.

Drink as much as you want and live longer.
Damn, liquor makes us all stronger.
Pornogami may make you shiver,
But liquor empowers the liver.

Crafting with cat hair.
What a fun affair.
Scare the allergic nuts away.
That works for my bay.

Do it yourself coffins.
Umm, my rhyme is as dead as goffins.
What is that?
Beats the cat.

How to fake a back exam.
Kill the doc with toe jam?
I bet that would be easy.
Zombie feet are cheesy.

How to shit in the woods.
For those sick of the hoods.
Now to the trees you can go,
And shit to and fro.

The beginners guide to sex in the afterlife.
Damn, living I can't even get a wife.
But the afterlife has sex?
Hope it isn't complex.

How to survive a robot uprising.
Get metal and start disguising.
Trick Skynet at your bay.
Then it won't make you pay.

Aren't you glad I found these books for you? Now you can learn even more at your zoo. That is such great luck. Most don't cost more than a buck. Now go and read each one because sex in the afterlife sounds like such fun. At least according to the singing bass. I'm still not a convinced little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

A Number Trumps Lumber!

The cat has done a post on luck, telling all humans it is as made up as that plastic duck. But humans still have their lucky numbers out there. They think they are something rare. Not really though. Sorry to burst your bubble, not really, at your show.

I have such luck,
I'll win more than a buck.
Just play this number oh so rare.
It is never used anywhere.

7 billion humans around,
And only for me luck is found.
This number is my lucky one.
I will win when done.

Pffft says the cat.
Pfffft to all of that.
Wow, a magic number.
Might as well say you have magic lumber.

Hmm, if drunk enough that could work.
Ahh, the gutter mind perk.
Now back on task,
As in the numbers we bask.

But you are wrong.
I heard it in a song.
It is my birthday.
Luck will come my way.

Pffft once more.
Pffft to any lore.
Pfffft to you.
Pffft to your made up word too.

Millions of others have your birthday.
Millions of others heard the song at their bay.
Millions of others have millions of reasons more,
For the number bringing luck at their shore.

Lucky numbers sure do get around.
Damn millions of them are found.
No wonder everyone wins the jackpot.
No wonder everyone never works a lot.

Lucky numbers are just so grand.
They give all a helping hand.
Oh wait! The cat is mistaken,
Some other number came out when the lottery ball was shaken.

Damn, if only it was my lucky number.
Then in bed I could slumber.
It sure is my wish.
Lucky numbers are about as magical as a half eaten fish.

Saying a number is lucky is the same as saying 13 is bad luck. Just a way for humans to pass the buck. Luck is a made up word and lucky numbers are just as absurd. Now numbers can mean something to each, as 24 is sure here at our beach. But that is it. Numbers are no more lucky than spit. There is my lucky number sass, I'll now wiggle away my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Run Wildish With The Childish!

The cat and Pat have both been called childish a time or two, and hey, we don't mind at our zoo. But why is it only one way? That is kind of off we say. So let's fix that now with a rhyming meow.

Childish you are.
Childish by far.
But you can drive a car,
And can even go to a bar.

But you don't do two in one,
After your drinking fun.
That is adultish right there.
So adultish at your lair.

You work and pay bills.
You get no extra frills.
That is adultish and then some.
So adultish you suck back the rum.

Adultish is your game.
Adultish is forever tame.
Spell check doesn't like adultish though.
But childish is alright to give a go.

So adultish of it.
Not taking my made up shit.
Stuck in its ways.
Forever trapped in a maze.

You live on your own,
Pay for your own phone.
So adultish of you,
To have your own zoo.

Sorry, living in nanny's basement doesn't count.
That falls under the childish amount.
Adultish is when you can see that.
Adultish thinks childish is scat.

Did childish rebel,
Sending adultish to hell?
Is that why adultish went away?
Adultish just didn't want to play.

Adultish was a stick in the mud,
So it fell with a thud.
Or maybe it was forced out,
Because of its non pta shout.

Adultish is oh so bad,
It's when you watch porn a tad,
Then get a virus and can't watch anymore.
Stuck half way through must be a chore.

Are you adultish at your sea? Or more childish like me? Maybe we need a mixish of both. The cat could create the mixish oath. I'd work in plenty of sass, but that you'd expect from my childish little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 12, 2015

A Little Death As Some Draw Their Last Breath.

The cat was off doing this or that when the Halloween Nazi's voice was heard where we're at. Some how her freaky dreaming came to me. It was not a fun sight to see.

The Halloween Nazi was snug in her bed,
With visions of death going through her head.
She smirked and cackled all through the night,
I hear her husband even thought her a fright.

Her first victim was Rosey and her giveaway scene.
She had sent her some mail that was very unclean.
Rosey opened it to write a brand new blog post,
Then a knife popped out and Rosey was toast.

The ninja wannabe sure did not getaway.
He had is guitar and was enjoying the day.
He gave it a strum and that was it.
The amp's high voltage burnt him to shit.

Grace was next on her hit list of foes.
Turns out Grace, or Heaven, was doing things that curl toes.
With one curl her toenail broke off and started to fly.
It landed in her ear, seeping into her brain, and Grace did die.

Snowcatcher was next and quilting up a storm at her sea.
The Halloween Nazi watched, cackling with glee.
She grinned as Snowcatcher fell and got stabbed.
Those quilting needles can be deadly when one is jabbed.

The Beer Guys were more tricky as there are two.
But the Halloween Nazi was far from through.
Bry Bry was called by that instead of Bryan.
That resulted in way more than him just sighin.

But while he was searching for who called him that,
His Chinese neighbors crept over and knocked him out flat.
They took his spleen and ate it for some body or spirit perk.
Brandon vowed to end the Bry Bry calling jerk.

Though when trying to search and find the evil name caller,
He ran into gum wrapping that had been chewed smaller.
His dog needed to be saved once again at his sea.
It spit up, Brandon slipped on it and went head first into a tree.

If that wasn't enough, a beer bottle fell from it.
Brandon was toast as the glass caused his head to split.
At least the Halloween Nazi isn't such an evil witch.
She did let his dog live without so much as giving him an itch.

Then she cackled all over again at one with a fetish for a shoe.
It was an easy one for her as she left a shoe in view.
Blue was so happy he grabbed the shoe and ran.
Turns out the shoe exploded and he was a dead blue man.

The redneck was trying to keep it real and all of that.
She was out popping a zit while disco dancing and chewing the fat.
She flung her arm in the air to pop the big zit,
It worked, but the goo was acidic and she choked on every bit.

Jax could not help but run from a strawberry.
She's nearing 30 years old and still finds them scary.
A bird thought she was as crazy as can be.
It swooped down and pecked her eyes out for free.

Hank was inkling to be number one at a store.
He was on the road and got ready to soar.
But as he hit the gas and went faster and faster,
He found he had no brakes and Hank ended up plaster.

Betsy was in the kitchen dancing with a spoon,
When many cats ran about making fun of her acting as a loon.
She missed tripping over each one as the doorbell rang,
Neighbor guy showed up with his tightey whiteys and skid marks, dang.

Mary was sitting with her horde of dogs.
They all sat around like bumps on logs.
Then one decided to go out and eat some strange crap,
Coming in and licking Mary with poison breath as she took a nap.  

Betty was out searching for a town once more.
She decided to give the GPS a chance to help her explore.
She followed the directions it gave her to a tee,
Straight of a cliff, exploding in a canyon, whoopsy.

Adam applied for Jeopardy and got his chance.
There he was filming and ready with his wide stance.
He knew the answer right away and hit the buzzer as it came.
A malfunction caused sparks and Adam died from the game

Truedessa ate eggs and let loose more then you'd guess.
It was sparkly farts if I really must confess.
Turns out that they are bad to breathe in though.
For they caused her lungs to grow and then blow.

Mary Kirkland was getting freebies by the pound.
She even had many for her little greedy hound.
One she opened and the box was so big she fell in.
She was shipped to Timbuktu and died in the tin.

Manzi was hooking herself up to some big machine.
She wanted to be good and oh so very clean.
Turns out worms were eating the wires like sand.
Manzi kinda fried there in her land.

Birgit had computer woes from that Windows 10.
She chucked it against the wall at her den.
It blew to pieces and flew every which way.
A piece hit her forehead and now it's there to stay.

Suza got her grammar nazi on and edited away.
But her client did not like what she had to say.
So he paid her in gold bricks by the ton.
Suza got crushed by every single one.

Jacqueline was gardening when up it came.
It was a vegetable that looked anything but tame.
The thing popped and threw seeds into her hair.
The seeds sunk into her brain and now its bare.

Susan was caught up in edits by a ton.
It had been days since she saw the sun.
Actually it seems that it was longer than that.
She caught scurvy and died as her insides went splat.

Fundy Blue was looking through old letters from her dad.
She should have been more careful there at her pad.
She got a paper cut and bacteria was loaded on the letter.
Her body took it all in and let's say she never ended up better.

Sandra Cox found a commercial with animals enjoying each other.
They would jump around like the other species was their brother.
Unfortunately there was a mating call on the video she was playing,
It brought a tiger to her door and for that video she is paying.

Kathy Combs was out barbecuing up a storm.
The day was much like any other as all was the norm.
Then when she went to flip the meat around,
She was pushed face first into the hot grill by some stray hound. 

Sherry had her duckbill ready and was trying to call ducks.
Not a one came, proving her duck calling rather sucks.
But what did come was some sort of goose.
It infected her with rabies after taking a big bite out of her caboose.

Bijoux got fed up with a cellphone talker that was near.
She went and ripped the cellphone from the woman's ear.
That was really not a nice thing to do.
The cellphone blew up and Bijoux did too.

Al was stuck posing on a sidewalk loo.
He got sucked in and became human goo.
I guess you can say there was a swirl to his death.
I hope as he went down that he held his breath.

Robyn got a neat treat to her dinner table.
She thought she was in heaven as it was such a fable.
It was a chocolate plate, spoon, fork and glass.
She ate the poisoned chocolate and became one dead lass.

Old One Eye was the last of the bunch,
The Halloween Nazi was really out to lunch.
She popped Old One Eye's eyeball from her head,
Then she ate it up while Old One Eye laid dead.

And so in the upcoming days to Halloween,
You may want to be extra careful at your scene.
For the Halloween Nazi is dreaming how to end your life.
Boy, she must make one scary wife.

The cat just had to warn you all. Now you can prevent it at your hall. The Halloween Nazi is just so mean. I bet her killing devices are even unclean. Would the cat ever lie to any of you? Bah, not on Thanksgiving at our Canadian zoo. Do you believe what has come to pass? You can trust in my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Some Brain Type Rain!

So a while ago at her sea snowcatcher gave an idea to me. She wants all spammers and haters brains to explode. Damn, wouldn't want to meet her on the road. She may run you down in a rage. Maybe she offs people for a wage? Those snowflakes are just a cover. A gun or poison is her real lover. Anyway, back on task before she puts poison in my flask.

Brains go boom.
That would bring doom.
With a big splat,
You'd become a stat.

1 in 5 brains will blow.
That's 1.3 billion deaths you know.
Population control too.
What exploding brains can do.

If you are an internet tough guy,
Your brains go bye bye.
If you like to spam,
You mind turns to jam.

If you go out and steal,
Your brain no longer turns its wheel.
If you look at one the wrong way,
Your brains make you pay.

Hmmm there may not be a human left.
All the exploding brains would have heft.
My OCD wouldn't want to clean that.
Nope, exploding brains doesn't apply to a cat.

We can do what we please.
But if you so much as sneeze,
Your brain goes boom.
What's left of you is in a tomb.

So now beware.
Do things with care.
If you don't do it.
Brains turn to spit.

As in they leak from you face.
Good you need to embrace.
Can't be a criminal of any kind.
Can't even moon your behind.

Brains exploding is upon us.
So you can't fuss.
Time to give nice a chance.
Maybe the human race will advance.

Yeah, that will be the day.
They'd all go boom I'd say.
All on Earth would be sunk.
Except for maybe a monk.

Wouldn't that suck? Brains exploding everywhere like muck? If you did anything bad at all your brains would splatter on the wall. Sword of Damocles in a way. Everyone would always have to have a nice day. Even when you have a bad case of gas. Good thing I'm an exempt little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Sleep Like That? Pfft Says The Cat!

The cat has a new neighbor at our show. Does it still count as neighbors in apartments buildings though? Bah, we'll leave that for another day. They sure prove an old saying is full of crap at their bay.

Could be, almost, maybe,
You sleep like a baby.
Umm, you scream and cry,
Acting like you are about to die?

You are an attention seeker?
A diaper umm leaker?
You cry some more,
Louder than any snore.

Except maybe the blue guy.
His snore can carry high.
So he says anyway,
Mostly every day.

Wow, that is some sleep.
Two minutes at your keep.
Then you whine all night.
Sleep or fright?

The cat will choose the later.
No sleep with that small matter.
Until you have to work,
And they think keeping you up is a perk.

Devils they may be.
But sleep like one at your sea?
Are you whiny too?
Do you have a diaper collect your poo?

Damn, no wonder you sleep like that.
Steer clear of the cat.
I'll pelt you with scat of my own,
If you give me any whiny in the night tone.

Wouldn't you rather sleep like cat?
Whenever and wherever you wanted where you're at?
Or maybe a mutt,
Even if you get the inkling to sniff a butt.

At least they can sleep well.
Babies are just whiny as hell.
Why not sleep like someone sane?
Is that too much of a pain?

Instead you'd rather whine and leak?
Not something I'd seek.
So go and sleep like a baby,
You might get a few minutes, maybe.

Is that saying dumb or is it just me? Thankfully they are across the hall at our sea. That means we only hear when near the door. That thing sure can roar. The cat runs away with Cass. No hair puller is getting near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 9, 2015

The Russians Are Coming And Umm Chumming?

Talk about a Halloween treat. No need to even go down the street. They will come to you. I think I'd rather take King Abubu's deal at my zoo. Want to get married with ease? Russian brides are there to please.

Show up on Twitter.
Gleeful yet bitter.
Wanting to play,
You just must pay.

Show up in email.
It won't fail.
Fly me there.
Money to spare.

Hate my life.
Need a wife?
I'll marry fast.
Singledom is in the past.

I'll join you.
You can have my sister too.
Two for one.
A package deal run.

That's like a sale,
Something you get in the mail.
We'll pop out of a box,
Maybe even wash your socks.

Purr like a cat.
How about that?
Right there with you.
And remember, you get two.

Out and about,
We won't pout,
We'll be with you,
Until death comes due.

A Halloween treat,
That is so sweet.
Won't you let us in?
We like sin.

Order today.
Submit your pay.
We aren't far away.
Be there by May.

That is all.
Look, another wall.
Want a Russian bride?
It will be one wild ride.

Geez, they spammed the cat. Can you believe that? Bestiality isn't my thing. None of those at my wing. Maybe rednecks aren't the only animal lovers out there. The Russians have a thing for cat hair? I'll give the scary Halloween treat a pass. I don't want anyone near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Asking All With This Cat Call!

This just popped on in so I gave it a big spin. Would you imagine something can pop? That right there may make you stop. But if you are to keep going, enjoy today's rhyme time showing.

If I were to be on time,
Would the ticking clock still chime?
Can you hear what I have written?
Maybe not unless you're smitten.

Will you stay awake to read?
Only if the sheep take seed.
Maybe that makes little sense,
But they just jumped a fence.

Are you sitting on the fence?
That may hurt, just my ten cents.
I can't say something like one or two.
For we have no more pennies in view.

Just because you can't sit and view,
Does it really mean it left you?
How are you to know if you don't see?
Don't ask me, I'm asking thee.

If you are confused in the head,
Have you heard what has been said?
That brings us back to what's been written.
Has the bite been good and bitten?

Will you read this on the fly?
Will you be really low or rather high?
What is it that you will be on?
Should I consider that one a great big con?

Can great and big be used at once?
Could make me sound like a dunce.
Where's the corner and the cap.
No, I didn't say I had the clap.

Can your mind play tricks on you?
If it does you may end up as glue.
Hey, beggars can't be all that picky.
At least you'll still be able to make people sticky.

Where did that come from at my sea?
Don't ask me, I'm still asking thee.
Would my mind go to such lengths?
I consider it one of my strengths.

Have you begun to stand and stare?
Is your brain now on and fully aware?
So let me know what comes of it.
What is it? Hey, I asked you that shit.

Have you got an answer or three? To what? Hey, don't ask me. You made me say hey a lot today. Hay is for horses so they say. It can work for cows too. They sure have some stink come due. With that I will say don't have a cow. I have left you good and whelmed now. Should you find this confusing or crass, just know, it's another day in the life of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

An Insecure Attack To Help The Pack!


It's Halloween time,
Or close to it's chime.
You are insecure.
It has a certain allure.

Use it well.
Raise some hell.
If your eyes are baggy,
And kinda saggy,

Be a witch.
Scratch that itch.
Give it a go.
Away the insecurity will flow.

Just scare the kiddos away.
So fun at your bay.
Might get an urban legend made about you.
Hell, you might even get two.

Too lazy to shave?
Look like you came out of a cave?
Be a werewolf at your sea.
Howl the insecurity away from thee.

Just stay within the noise bylaws.
Fines may bring out your claws.
Scratching a copper will bring down the hammer,
And you don't want to go to the slammer.

Cat eat your toilet paper?
You know that is a fun caper.
Just a little holey and such.
We don't eat much.

Take your holey tp,
And wrap it around thee.
Be a holey mummy.
You and your cat may get chummy.

Could unravel you with ease.
Or you'll take off in a breeze.
Hmm, may get a bit dizzy.
That will stop your insecurity tizzy.

And if you really want it beat,
Leaving insecurity in defeat,
Just become the undead.
Eat off insecurity's head.

Wasn't the cat helpful today? Enjoy howling at your bay. Just don't do it near the cat. Not sure my ears can take that. Now I am through with my tips for you. So enjoy turning insecurity around in mass. It works for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

A Robot Or Not?

Not only does Google provide the cat with a blog, but they want to help robots with that brain fog. They want to make them a buddy for you. Someone for you to talk to at your zoo. Isn't that nice? Bet they charge a hefty price.

Robots with common sense.
That might make some tense.
Or it may be grand,
As I've said in my land,

Humans have little common sense anymore.
So maybe Skynet can help with that chore.
And you can have quite the chat.
Just like Her or something like that.

Ready for I Robot?
Like the idea a lot?
A robot for you and me.
The Jetsons you can be.

Not a fan?
Bicentennial Man may have an evil plan.
Could make the world go boom?
Humans can also do that doom.

But who needs a pet or spouse or kid?
Just oil up a robot lid.
There you go.
A one person show.

Could even give you a thrill.
Would that be worth the bill?
Sure to some crazy nuts.
Must be in some real ruts.

Robots could do all the work.
That has to be a perk.
You can sit and get fat.
Nothing wrong with that.

They cook and clean.
You watch the TV screen.
Isn't that wow?
Could even get a robot cow.

Don't forget they chat.
They'll chat to any dingbat.
So ask away and have fun.
They'll chat a ton.

Remember they have common sense too.
They may have more than you.
So get ready for a robot spin.
I hear they'll even tuck you in.

Will you be getting a robot? Maybe you'll get a lot. In ten years or less you are supposed to be able to tell and confess. What if they call you an idiot at your sea? Pull the batteries out and string them up in a tree? Unless the robot can make the cat super rich, I'll avoid that itch. So that is a pass for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall. 

Monday, October 5, 2015

I'm Slick With A New Trick!

So you may not be able to teach an old mutt a new trick but the cat can pick them up some slick. What is this new trick you ask? While I'll let you in on the task.


I was staring out the window.
There wasn't much of a show.
A few dumb humans here and there.
 They were only worth a short stare.


Then a light came on.
Or maybe it was dawn.
Or maybe Cassie farted.
Either way, we parted.


Pat was watching me.
I had to flee.
Bah, let him watch the cat.
 I'll reveal my secret to even Pat.


I can now open the dishwasher door.
Hmm, plenty in there to explore.
I jump up and pop it open with ease.
It really is a breeze.


What is so interesting you say?
Isn't it empty at our bay?
Nope, Pat hides the cat toys there.
The ones I'd eat if I could at my lair.


String is bad for you.
Who knew at their zoo.
Would you look at that.
A toy for the cat.


Cassie thought I was crazy.
Bah, she's just lazy.
Sitting there gawking.
At least she wasn't squawking.


I've got it now.
It will never meow.
I ripped the end off of a wand.
 I'll go toss it in a pond.


Now my hard work is through.
Stop following me at our zoo.
I've got new tricks to learn.
Go give Cassie a turn.


Hmph. She just sits pretty by the window.
That doesn't put on a show.
 The cat needs to teach her a thing or two.
Must be more humans out there for her to view.

There is my new trick. Can you open the dishwasher that slick? Do you store toys in there too? It is a perfect spot at our zoo. Pat locks the dishwasher now though. That is just so low. For that the cat gave him sass. Then off I wiggled with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

The Exaggeration Of Anticipation!

There was an allegation that there is something to anticipation, whether that be compensation or a simple conservation. I guess you get the allocation as you sit in anticipation.

The object of anticipation,
Can be quite the domination.
That is my declaration,
On such a thing as anticipation.

Nope, there is no hesitation,
When it comes to anticipation.
At least my anticipation illustration.
Or would that be an estimation?

Maybe call a delegation,
They'd discuss anticipation.
Although they may need medication,
To fix their long boring punctuation.

It can lead one to strangulation.
That would kill anticipation.
For some I guess it would be stimulation.
But forgo the creepy loss of respiration.

All things in moderation?
I guess if that's your anticipation.
Might need a vaccination,
Before your anticipation elation

No amplification of anticipation,
Will make it any better a coordination.
Even with documentation,
Or some weird ejaculation. 

I guess that killed your anticipation.
Unless you have determination,
And just go with my improvisation.
It comes as random as precipitation.

It beats procrastination.
Nothing there for anticipation.
Unless anticipation is procrastination,
Then you may have your visualization.

Remember the detoxification.
That is no anticipation,
But from anticipation you could get a discontinuation.
No one needs a hospitalization.

Did you anticipate this with anticipation?
Are you in sheer discombobulation?
Does Bob have a monopolization? 
Dissing Bob may give some anticipation.

Do you enjoy anticipation? Are you addicted like a form of gratification? Did this post give you an hallucination? What is my insinuation? That anticipation is cause for elation until it pulls into the station and causes increased magnification. Did you not get that with my anticipation sass? No need to anticipate my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Is Passion Outta Fashion?

The cat used crappy English there. Does outta make you swear? Too many questions already? I guess they can stop coming steady. So the cat heard a nut talking the other day and he was as nuts as Squirrels collecting food in May.

Follow your passion.
It isn't out of fashion.
No matter what comes due.
Follow that passion through.

Don't worry about money.
Things will be sunny.
Stick out your hat.
You won't fall flat.

Don't work some crummy job.
Don't be like good old Bob.
Follow that passion today.
Let the rest just float away.

Don't try more than one thing.
No need to hear cha ching.
Follow that passion and you'll be happy.
Listen to me because I'm so yappy.

Follow that itch.
You won't be dead in a ditch.
Or have a sagging fanny,
Stuck in the basement with nanny.

Passion is its own reward.
With it, you'll never be bored.
Who needs cash?
Make a passion dash.

Just go go go.
Passion will show.
It will get you through.
Pffft to the 9-5 zoo.

So come on, chum.
Pluck that plum.
Don't be dumb.
Chew new gum.

The gum of life.
There won't be strife.
Passion finds a way.
Who needs that pay?

Not you, just me.
I'm rich you see.
So I can say all of this,
And still be in bliss.

Pfffft to such nuts. They sniff one too many butts. Passion is nice but it will leave you living in a sewer with mice. He actually called his target chum too while bouncing around like a kangaroo. In most cases passion will leave you broke. So ignore such a bloke. Or would that be chum? Either way, dumb. Passion can grow and new things can show. Don't just sit and pass gas, even if you are as passionate about it as my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Goal Of A Hole!

I've heard it time and time again here at my den. You want to get out of the hole. Umm, need a rope to accomplish that goal? Lassie may be around. You can count on that hound. Does one ever truly get out though? Damned if I know.

Life takes a stroll,
You're in a hole.
Didn't watch your feet,
Tripped on the street.

In the hole you are.
Beats being hit by a car.
Now you are stuck,
And covered in muck.

That is just yuck.
Can't make a buck.
Bills in the mail,
Saying you fail.

Peter pays Paul.
They rob them all.
But why not Paul and Peter?
Peter a big eater?

Why not Anne and old one eye?
They popped in, don't know why.
Might want to jump in a hole,
If old one eye takes a stroll.

Where was I?
Right, a holey cry.
Stuck in deeper.
Bills are a creeper.

The harder you work,
More life isn't a perk.
Down further you go.
Can't get enough dough.

Can't see the sun.
Holes are no fun.
Then they come and lock it.
Take your last buck out of a hole in your pocket.

Now trapped in the hole.
Out is your goal?
Might need a gun,
Rob a bank for fun.

Go in on it with a banker.
Then double cross the wanker.
Out of your hole you'll be,
But now it is time to flee.

Hmm, so I suppose you humans can get out of the hole. It just depends on the goal. Although don't stop and stammer or you'll get chucked in the slammer. Can one ever get out of the hole in life? Need to marry a rich husband or wife? That would stop the hole sass. I'll now go dig a hole in the litter box with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Month Of Scare, Readers Beware!

The cat will scare you today, as Halloween is coming to play. Oh what I will do. One is for Gloria at my zoo. She likes that. You'll see from the cat. Might even get the Halloween Nazi as the scares fly free.


The cell of doom.
 It will bring gloom.
Won't fit in your pocket.
It's back on the docket.


Whoops, wrong holiday.
Scary anyway.
Santa is frisky to all.
Think it shrunk at his hall?


Yummy fish crap,
Is going in your yap.
Don't you love that?
Some scary scat.


A floating brain.
Too big for a train.
It has its eyes on you.
 A brain with eyes? Who knew.


Umm err eww.
Quite the view.
Shit in a chair.
Have to sit bare.


Hoarders r us.
Can't even fit on a bus.
 Buried in boxes is scary.
Bet things are in there that are hairy.


Like thousands of these.
They sure won't freeze.
Even too many for the cat.
Mary Kirkland would like that.


The craze is still on.
It isn't a con.
Human noses up your ass.
 Get ready to pass some gas.


Eyes to scare all.
Pop out like a ball.
Isn't that nifty?
Rather thrifty.


And the worst of all.
Ready to run down the hall?
Yep, the return of zombie feet.
Hey, Gloria finds them neat.

And now whatever comes due, unless maybe an alien probes you, you won't be scared at all. All thanks to the cat getting it out of your system on my wall. Gloria was waiting for the feet to return. Took a year and a half for zombie feet to make eyes burn. But there they are. Nasty by far. Enjoy the scary mass? No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.