Monday, November 30, 2015

Even Cans Have Their Fans!

So the cat sees it everywhere and I'm sure you are also aware. Fanboys are near and far, fangirls also come by car. Not sure why they are just lumped as boys as both sure get joys.

Marvel vs. DC ones,
Always had their runs.
Nintendo vs. Sony was there,
Upon entering many a lair.

That is all well and good,
As fanboys fight at every hood.
But now it has gone insane,
As they are in every lane.

Can A beats Can B.
Can B is a sight to see.
Round rock beats pointy rock,
Does that come as a shock?

Facebook beats Twitter.
Come now, don't be bitter.
Red dirt beats brown dirt.
Do you want to flirt?

Cat vs. dog.
Frog vs. hog.
Car vs. truck.
Goose vs. duck.

Soda vs. pop.
Go vs. stop.
Road vs. street.
Messy vs. neat.

Everything is up for grabs.
Even the clap vs crabs.
I beat it's been debated.
Not sure how either leaves one elated.

You just have to make a claim,
And along comes some lad or dame,
They won't agree with you,
And fanboys will flock by the few.

Doesn't have to be a ton,
But you'll always get one.
Arguing something completely stupid,
Like a young vs. an old cupid.

The everything fanboy,
They are anything but coy,
They'll fight you to the bitter end,
No matter the thing, toy, game, object, disease....or trend.

Are you one of those? Do you sink the human race to new lows? Not sure how much farther it can sink. No, there is no need to debate that at my rink. Some just like to argue away at the end of the day. Fanboys and fangirls can suck on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Intruder Abounds As Our Head Pounds!

The cat is still recovering from the other day. Some intruder came to our bay. She tried to be nice and give us a brush, but we treated her like something you'd flush.

There she was,
Here just because?
I knew not why.
But away I did fly.

Cassie gave a glare.
She has one hateful stare.
Females and big dogs she gives it to.
I guess she wants to be the only female at our zoo.

Then she ran under the bed.
We were both filled with dread.
Why did Pat let her in?
This surely wasn't a win.

We couldn't have her.
She didn't make us purr.
She was just scary.
And far too hairy.

Although that hair I may like to chew,
Between me and you.
Pat's armpits learned that.
Hey, I'm a weird cat.

She then moved near our litter box.
Good thing she had on socks.
My litter might stab her feet.
Nope, after going, I'm not neat.

Then she moved further in.
She was near my food with her sin.
She reached up with a do hickey,
And that is when things got tricky.

The fire alarm went off.
That made us both scoff.
It gave us a headache as well.
Those things sure are hell.

She said it worked fine.
Waved goodbye to each feline,
After checking a box.
She left and Pat turned the locks.

So she was the yearly fire alarm tester,
Only here to set the thing off and pester.
I guess that's not so bad.
Things are now back to normal at our pad.

What? Did you think it was something more? Whoops, sorry for the curve ball at our shore. This was four months ago though. So I guess you never know. Our headache is hopefully gone by now. We sure can hiss, spit and meow. But she thought it was cute. That doesn't work when I'm trying to be a brute. Next time the cat will have to pass nasty gas out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Light or Deep At Your Keep!

We all know the blue guy likes to snore. You can hear him at some far away shore. But then how about you? Are you snoring away at your zoo? Can you snore and read at the same time? Damn, if so, you are in your prime.

Do you sleep light?
Do you sleep deep?
Do you sleep at night?
What hours do you keep?

Why do I care?
Why do you ask?
Sleep isn't rare.
It's a daily task.

Do you sleep early.
Do you sleep late?
Do you go squirrely,
If no sleep is your fate?

What was that?
I'm a nosey cat?
You didn't know that?
Where have you been at?

Do you sleep in late?
Do you get up early.
Did you take the bait,
And bet I'd reuse squirrely?

Mad that I'm a re-user?
That is too bad.
No need to be an abuser,
Just sleep on it at your pad.

Do you sleep on your side?
Do you sleep on your back?
Or do you do a nightly ride,
Flipping here and there at your shack?

No, not that ride.
But that is okay.
Do it with pride.
It may fall off one day.

Do you snore?
Do you get up to pee?
Both are a chore,
And cause no glee.

Why did I ask?
You asking again?
Because with such a task,
I can say all of the above at me den.

That and more indeed. I sleep everywhere and every which way at my feed. Can you say you are on par with the cat? I hope you don't snore like a super powered rat. The cat only snores a little and thankfully Pat's ears aren't brittle. Did you fall asleep with this pass? Sorry, not really, from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Pull A Con And Tack It On!

The cat has figured out how to win. It is easy to do all others in. Yep, easy as can be. Do you want me to share at my sea? Okay, since you asked so nicely I will. I'm sure it is a thrill.

TV show, movie or book.
Even a videogame at your nook.
You want to make it a success?
First don't make it a mess.

Then don't be a copy cat.
Wait! People like that.
Okay, be a copy cat.
Can't make a mess out of that.

Same rhyme twice.
Isn't that nice?
A copy catting cat.
How about that?

Right. So you can copy.
But that may get sloppy.
That is so last year.
All world building cheer.

Yeah, Marvel got copied a lot.
But so far none are as hot to trot.
The secret isn't in no secret war.
The secret is to swing open the door.

That is right.
Play nice at your site.
Swing open that door,
Inviting many into your shore.

It can now be a mess.
It can be paint by numbers no less.
And it won't matter.
All will give you dough served up on a platter.

What is it you ask?
Can't you follow my task.
It is as easy as can be.
Double up at your sea.

Yep, just throw in a big name.
Now your project won't be lame.
Ninja Turtles meet Howard the Duck.
That would make many a buck.

21 Jump Street meets Men in Black.
Wait, they are supposedly doing that attack.
Yoda meets Boogerman.
A sure fire hit with many a fan.

I could go on all day. Maybe I should get Captain Crunch to join my bay. Not sure why that just popped in, but I'll go with it at my looney bin. So when looking to sell, don't dig a new well, just add a big name and you'll get your fame. It can be complete crap and it will still sell across the map. You'll make more money than a singing bass. Be sure and share some with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

The Rules Of Fools!

So the cat sees it here and there and you also see it everywhere. Whether or not you are aware or even care, beats me and my cat hair. But the cat has time to blare and so why not yap about something that isn't rare.

Rules are here and there.
There are rules to spare.
That we sure know.
So on with the show.

What of the rules of fools?
They flood like swimming pools.
They are all about.
Fools squawk and shout.

Squawking rule fools,
Worse than a dog that drools.
Except if the drool lands on your head,
Then that is something to dread.

The rules are many.
Things can't have any.
There have to be rules for all.
Tightly tied in one big ball.

Rules for eating.
Rules for treating.
Rules for working out.
Rules they sure shout.

Rules for shaming.
Rules for blaming.
Rules for lying.
Rules for the dying.

Rules high and low.
They change on the go.
But there is still a lot.
The rules are hot to trot.

Rules can be whelmed.
They must be helmed.
Helmed isn't a word
Blogger spell check rules are absurd.

But what is the rule of the fool?
The fool that believes the golden rule.
The rule of the golden fool.
Proving they are a garden variety garden tool.

As in they are mostly grand,
For digging up shit across the land.
That rule of the fool would be,
Their rules work for 100% of the population from sea to sea.

Morons in the end. Whoops, did I offend? Damn, I broke the shaming rules. Sorry, poor garden tools. There are rules of society that aren't even applied to all, as the rich get off with one phone call. There are things that are bad for all, like tossing back a vat of acid at your hall. But there are no rules that work for 100% of the people 100% of the time. Not even if you're a mime. So stick it says the cat to each rule dingbat. The cat shall follow the rules that works for him in mass and give the rest the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Let's Justify Today Along The Way!

You humans really have to get justification for everything you do. That is so sad and true. Don't believe the cat? I'll prove it with a little rhyming spat.

I am the best.
I beat the rest.
Say it with me.
I'm the best from sea to sea.

I bought this.
The deal wasn't one to miss.
I didn't have the money,
But it was a deal, Honey.

I ran the light.
It was at night.
No car in sight.
He hit me out of spite.

The movie would have been great,
But the studio wanted a new trait.
The script wasn't bad at all.
See? I wrote it in crayon on the wall.

I stole that car.
He was drunk at a bar.
I saved a drunk driver.
Should put me on Survivor.

I robbed that bank.
I upped my rank.
I had to because I'm broke.
They are insured, you bloke.

You should have done this,
If you wanted to keep my bliss.
You really made me cheat,
With your attention delete.

I ate nothing yesterday,
So I can sit and play.
No need to exercise here.
See? Not much of growing rear.

I killed them because they were mean.
They were demons and unclean.
God told me to.
Believe it to be true.

I'm still the best.
See my preening chest?
Say it with me.
I'm the best from sea to sea.

An excuse to justify a reason why. Always need an oh me, oh my. Justification sure seems to be your thing. For reasons for everything you can sing. Need to justify everything at your sea? Might not want to tell me. Then I can give some more sass from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a great fall.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Play The Wheel And Get A Deal!

So the cat was around a nut the other day, always seems to be the way, and they were going to win the lottery. Then what? Take up pottery? Beats me. But they are going to win at their sea. They found a trick that is oh so slick.

Going to win.
No need to spin.
It's a new ordeal.
It's a lottery wheel.

I'll pick 30 numbers or so.
Spend a few 100 and away I'll go.
I'll turn that into a ton.
Then to Hawaii I'll run.

I guess that would be fly.
But they can give running a try.
Probably more practical than the wheel.
Let's stick with their ideal.

You see, I'm promised 5 of 7 numbers.
Easier that buying cucumbers.
That is is all 7 hit.
But with 30 they will split.

Can't you see?
I'll be richer than thee.
I'll be oh so rich.
I can have people scratch my itch.

The lottery wheel is how it's done.
That is how you win a ton.
It is such a new thing.
All I can say is cha-ching.

Hmm, not quite.
Lottery wheels on many a site.
They may, at best, increase your odds a tiny bit.
But you are full of umm shit,

If you think it will make you win.
Whether or not the thing can spin.
But go ahead and waste your dough.
The lottery will love you though.

And to say they are new?
You have a loose screw.
Been used for decades at least.
Dumber than a butt sniffing beast.

Just because they are new to you,
Doesn't mean they are new.
So enjoy being backwards rich,
And scratching your own itch.

What some people believe at their sea sure makes them seem a tad crazy. Not in a good way at all there at their hall. Lottery wheels can work though, if you have millions in dough. Then it will give you every number to pick. You'll win some slick. After spending millions to do so. Counter productive at your show? Ever gave a lottery wheel a go? Did you win high or lose low? I have more sense in my gas that comes from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Looking Up Like A Silly Pup!

Did it ever occur to you that humans are like dogs at their zoo? No, they don't eat their own poo, at least I hope that is true, but just like a pup will worship you, you all worship those without a clue.

Years upon years ago,
It was Zeus high and low.
The guy slept with everything going,
Yet he still got a royal showing.

There was a bunch then.
Gods above mere men.
And as much as they were fiction,
So are these other idiots with each depiction.

Worships actors by the ton.
They aren't like everyone.
They deserve your praise.
After all, they play make believe like the kids you raise.

They are just as whiny.
Their ego anything but tiny.
They can't even tie their own shoes,
And they always have to make the news.

With assistants two by two,
A PR rep to blind you,
And a good script written,
You are well and smitten.

Then you got the crybabies.
Who are roided out and act like they got rabies.
My, they can throw a ball around.
Go and bow down on the ground.

They are so great.
None can relate.
Oopsy, they stubbed their toe.
Now off to the sidelines they go.

But they can still promote.
Pepsi got their vote.
Or whoever pays the most.
They'll sell it from coast to coast.

And just because they do,
It will be bought by you.
Gullible humans everywhere.
Just look at washed up actress touting shiny hair.

Don't you want that?
Grab it where you're at.
I now have more respect for a mutt.
That's saying something at my hut.

Worship the crybabies and children at your sea? Aren't they as great as can be? Wow, they are on reality TV. They must be worshiped by thee. Pfffft to each and everyone. Lazy asses can go fry in the sun. On worshiping any such idiots the cat will take a pass. They can simply pucker up to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Do You See = Stupid As Can Be!

The cat got asked the stupid question once again. How many times is that at our den? I think I've lost count. Been asked it a high amount. What is it that gets cheers? Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

How should I know?
Do I look like a .99 a minute psychic show?
Why do you care?
Bet I'll still have the same underwear.

Wait, I'd have to wear those.
Maybe same socks on my toes?
That isn't good enough for you?
Hey, I bet it's at least new.

Maybe I'll go fly a kite.
Could gain super human sight.
Maybe fall from a step.
A scrapped knee gives no pep.

You asking again?
You want me to write it in pen?
Pffft, good luck with that.
Go somewhere else and be a dingbat.

Maybe I'll be sitting here blogging.
5 years ahead would be quite the logging.
Don't even think I can get that far.
Sorry, no repeat crap at my bar.

Maybe I'll win the lottery.
Heck, could take up pottery.
Whelmed I may just be.
At least whelmed is tax free.

Could be dead in a ditch.
Yeah, that would be a bitch.
Don't want to be a downer?
Bah, go bug an out of towner.

Would it be towner if you are in a city?
That could make a fine future ditty.
See, you helped me out.
I can see a future shout.

Not 5 years though.
Stuff it at your show.
I'll enjoy each day,
And not make some plan to slave away.

Not a good answer for you?
Well boo friggin hoo.
Or whoodi friggin doo.
Either way, I haven't a clue.

Do you love that question at your sea? Why 5 years do they ask with glee? 1 would make more sense. That far out if you know exactly where you'll be you may be dense. That or a time traveler at your sea. For things can change faster than leaves on a tree. Plus how can you see? Do you look into a crystal ball or TV? The cat is through with his sass and I'm sure in 5 years, if I don't croak, I'll still be a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

A Rounding Act That's A Fact!

The cat was reading that and this, it was something you can miss, and he saw them state a fact. 1 million use this act. I looked about here and there and numbers like it did blare. Hmmm, something fishy is going on. I smell a con.

1,000,000 use this.
2,000,000 use that.
The zeroes you can't miss.
They are quite the stat.

Not 1,000,001 use it.
Not 2,000,546 have joined.
Nope, just lots of 0's hit.
0's are so much better coined.

And hey, that's okay.
Let the 0's out to play.
0 isn't a number on display.
Hey, that's what they say.

But 1,000,000 exactly is fact.
That is the whole case.
Our rounding has such tact.
Doesn't it put a smile on your face?

0's give you a thrill.
Unlike that other stuff.
1,067,897 makes you ill.
Looking at that is just rough.

So let's lie away.
Call it fact at the end of the day.
Many 0's on display.
And not an "over" to join the fray.

Nope, just 1,000,000.
That is the only fact.
Glad it's not a trillion.
More fact 0's we'd have to enact.

Have you caught on?
Have you followed the cat?
Believe it's a con?
Easy rounding each stat.

999,965 could use it.
But rounding is the way.
You need an extra hit.
Round up the display.

So join on in.
Have yourself some fun.
Let's give it a spin,
And round when we are done.

There are 2 cats here, that means 10 I fear. I rounded up at my sea. That 0 is oh so pretty. Care to give it a go? It's a fact don't you know. Yeah, the cat read too much into the rounding. But at least a rhyme it is founding. Or has founded now. I'm done, don't have a cow. Or have a rhino. Save that for a wino. Now I'm done rounding in mass with my ever so factual little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Maybe, Sorta, Going Green If You Get What I Mean!

The cat had to deal with a green nut the other day. Nope, not a little green martian at my bay. Those who go way, way, way out there at their sea and have to tell everyone about it as they hug a tree. So just for fun I let my mouth run.

Go green and don't drive.
There is no way we'll survive.
Go green and drive a bike,
Or walk and take a hike.

Drive a bike you say?
Walk every which way?
Did you make your own shoes?
Did you make the bike you choose?

No, but I eat green.
No meat at my scene.
I make sure to make little trash.
I don't even carry cash.

Did you grow your own food?
Did your trash get taken away by some dude?
What? You didn't walk it to the dump?
My, you are a green chump.

I collect my own rain water.
I am quite the green trotter.
Listen to me and go green.
Now stop making a scene.

Did the buckets you use to collect it,
Get made by you every little bit?
No? Damn, you are so bad.
Not very green at your pad.

What are you saying?
Of course for stuff I'm paying.
I want to keep the economy going.
But we all need a green showing.

Did you make that wallet?
Or did you mall it?
Did you make it from trash?
Hope it doesn't give you a bad rash.

Go away from me.
I am green like this tree.
You are twisting things around.
Green is where it is found.

Now you can go save a whale,
After your great green fail.
Enjoy your fake green life.
Maybe you'll get a fake green wife.

Green nuts bug the cat. They think they are all of that. But guess what? That bike, wallet, food, etc. were shipped near your hut. So that means gas was used. Gas was abused. Stuff was used to make the crap. It could have traveled halfway across the map. Wow, you just proved you are soooooo green. Bite me I say to them and their uber green scene. Only way to go green is live in the woods, use nothing made or grown that wasn't by you, and poop in a hole. Then you will obtain your green goal. Other than that go preach to a leech, maybe you'll get eaten by a shark at the beach. Hey, that would be green in mass. Go help the sharks says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Be Aware Of The Stare!

You don't have to say a word to get what you want. You don't even have to taunt. You just have to have the right stare. That will get you everything at your lair. Don't believe me? Wait and see.


Don't look the other way.
Don't look at what you want.
 But make eye contact at your bay.
And don't sit and taunt.


But don't get to near.
Or stick your nose up.
But nose beats rear.
Unless trying to impress a pup.


Act kind of cute.
But don't lose your attention.
That sun is a brute,
It can leave your eyes in detention.


And watch that itch.
Don't spread the fleas.
That can make humans twitch.
Maybe even sneeze.


Don't look back.
Keep eye contact. 
That may get flack,
For such an act.


You can stand and stare.
But don't show the ear.
Need eyes by the pair.
That's what I hear.


This is about right.
But it has a little tilt.
It'll do day or night.
The stare is well built.


Act anxious too.
That can work.
They can't ignore you,
And you'll get your perk.


Here comes the grass.
 Yippee for us.
At least for Cass,
She makes the biggest fuss.


I could care less.
But I'll continue to stare.
 I do like to turn it into a mess.
And now you are aware.

Got the stare down at your sea? Can you get what you want with a stare spree? Do you stare like the cat? I hope you don't look like a dingbat. Do you enjoy grass as much as Cass? I'm just a messy grass eating little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Round Forty Gets Sporty!

40 rounds have come due. That is sure a lot at my zoo. We'll see if the search engine nuts keep it up. May make it to 100 with their hiccup. They do seem to have slowed down though. Maybe people no longer sink low? Yeah right. On with it at my site.

"it's close in here" euphemism farts

A tight fit? Don't follow through on that shit. Get it? I'm a hit.

fluck not a bad word

Fluckity fluck fluck. Nope, not bad says a duck.

kinky maids

Are they kinky because of what they do with a slinky?

tops off

I guess not. No tops off here are caught.

going, going, gone

Baseball now? Sorry, don't think that cat will be playing that somehow.

Special kitty nip

Can I have some? Sure it won't make me glum.

Average  size okay?

Don't ask me. Snip snipped at my sea.

Gone are the days I played

Played with what? You average size at your hut?

Have you any of that

I have some of that and some of this. Does that leave you in that and this bliss?

kome catch me woman

No thanks. Keep your umm spanks.

burnt and burned

A pot head. Oh the dread.

home is where the pussy is

hmmm was it a cat you sought? Somehow I think you had another thought.

snap itno a slim jim

I think you snapped and backwards you were trapped.

fruit and veggies plate

Gloria has that. Find her blog mat.

And the winner of the big 4 0 has something to say that all should know. You'll never forget this. I hope you seek help if it brings you bliss.

Taxidermy deer heads suck dick

And on that note. That is all she wrote. Don't go sticking anything in there and if you do, don't tell my lair. Ever had such a taxidermy thought? Damn, glutton for punishment at my spot. I'll go talk to the singing bass and stick up my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

The Tragic Of The Magic!

The cat has made fun of magic shows and we know how luck goes. The cat thinks the later is fake. Made up like a sunny snowflake. But then there is some who sound kinda dumb. It was magic. Oh so tragic.

Why did it work?
How did you get that perk?
It was as easy as can be.
It was magic you see.

Magic is behind it all.
See the writing on the wall?
Nope, because there was none.
It was magic having fun.

You made it.
You were quite a hit.
Effort in every bit.
Wait, magic did it.

No effort from you.
That can't do.
It was all magic at play.
Magic in every way.

Just like that coin.
You and your ear I can join.
Or maybe yank it away.
It is like magic every day.

Magic is back.
I stopped your heart attack.
Pffft no pill did that.
Any Dr. went scat.

Magic saves the day.
So let the magic play.
I put a spell on you.
Yeah, I went there at my zoo.

You're in need?
Just come and read.
No problem at all.
Wait, no writing on the wall.

So no need to read.
Let magic take seed.
How did you do it?
Magic, every little bit.

So don't try at all.
You will never fall.
Magic is at play.
Magic saves the day.

Do you say magic did it? Enjoy my magic fit? Maybe you can pull a coin from the ear. That is such great magic far and near. What, you don't believe me? Magic caused you to roll your eyes at your sea. Now I will go pass some gas out my magical little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Three More To Add To The Lore!

The cat figured why not. Hey, may as well add to the book plot. Let the pile get high. I need to have stuff for every girl and guy. From kids books galore to novels at my shore. We've got Imagine Hatt episodes too and some adult books like the below in view.



 Profanity Granny is back.
This time on a crime fighting attack.
She stops purse snatchers and politicians too.
Even an animal abuser at her zoo.

Stopping crime every day.
That's the Profanity Granny way.
She may beat your rear.






Happy Humper is alive.
He has to hump to survive.
I know, a dog, right?
A dog at my site.

He humps with glee. 
Not gonna let him hump me.
Equal opportunity humper as well.






And Ready Eddie is the third.
This cat is really absurd.
He will piss on anything.
 He lets it fly and fling.

Sadly this is based off of a real cat.
His piss always went splat.
He let it fly at the other sea.

And so now three more books have come about. That makes four this month I put out. Not bad at all. I should be nearing 100 works overall at my hall. Any of the three appeal to thee? Yeah, I know I'm crazy as can be. The third one is all true. I may have embellished with the other two. Now I'm done with this book mass and I'll go use the litter with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

In A Rut With 15 What?

Hmm the cat is trying to figure out your math. I guess it all follows the same path. Humans take their shoes off one foot and count. That sure gets the 15 amount. 15 what you ask. Let's follow the task.

Do something dumb.
Do something smart.
Maybe just show your bum,
To the people of Wal-Mart.

Do something silly,
Do something wise.
If you flash your willy,
You'll hear jailhouse rock cries.

Isn't wise and smart the same?
That depends with some.
But either way they seek fame.
Most by doing things dumb.

Fame is the name of the game.
That lights their flame.
Idiots everywhere should know your name.
Hey, at least they know who to blame.

But can't know long.
15 minutes is all you're allowed.
Can't come on too strong,
Or you may draw a crowd.

If you break the 15 minute rule,
You will just be so bad.
15 minutes is enough for a fool.
Enough for people to see they are sad.

Sad as in pathetic as can be,
Trying to get attention and such.
Whoopdi friggin doo says me,
To those that try too much.

15 is all you are given.
So you better not waste it.
Time to get really livin.
Do some stupid shit.

The other possible millions of minutes in life,
They don't matter at all.
Those 15 minutes is needed to show the wife,
You are the star of having a great fall.

What goes up must come down,
Or at least that's what they say.
Just like the 15 minute thing in every town,
And all strive for it night and day.

Got your 15 minutes yet? Pffft says the pet. Fame is nonsense anyway. But then it can get you pay. The sheep shall follow for a while. At least for your 15 minute mile. Then you are screwed and left in the grass. So sad, not really, says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

A Really Really Kinda Dealy!

A bit of a cheat rhyme but I do that from time to time. Hey, some of you do too. Don't go curling your nose up at my zoo. I don't want to see that nose hair. I've got enough hair at my lair.

But you really want to?
Fine, stick your nose in view.
Let the sucker fly.
You may get the evil eye.

What was that?
You cursed the cat?
Pffft curse away.
I do it at my bay.

What is this?
Sure not bliss.
I'm snip snip.
Pat could throw out a hip.

But what is this?
Did the point you miss?
Maybe the point is there is none.
But that has been done.

You really want to know?
Really, really give it a go?
Really, really high and low?
Okay, really, really start to crow.

I really want it.
I need every bit.
6 months later I want it.
I need it every bit.

Wait a second there.
I lived without with time to spare.
6 months at my sea.
But it is really, really needed by me.

It is still a real need.
I really need it at my feed.
Another year flew by.
I still really need it to fly.

A year and a half.
Did someone say calf?
How about moo?
I still really want it to come due.

Really, really need it.
Really, really need every bit.
Now I'm really, really dead.
I guess I really don't need what I said.

Did you really, really read it all? Do you really, really need something at your hall? Is the need really a want? Did you really get my taunt? I am really asking too many questions today. I should really go away. Maybe I'll really pass some gas out my really tiny little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 13, 2015

A Jefigoop Comes To Have A Poop!

What the heck is a Jefigoop? Did the cat throw you for a loop? Never fear because all will become clear. Much like Bohlingaringding that cat made it up. This one also includes a pup. You'd think I'd stop using butt sniffers in these. But I guess you do need some animals to feed fleas. Now on with the show as another book can be seen below.

The Jefigoop that had a poop.
That is quite the troop.
Ever meet a Jefigoop?
They can sure droop.

Why did it poop?
Ask the Jefigoop.
Don't ask me.
I know nothing at my sea.

But it had to poop,
To throw something for a loop.
Could that something be a mutt?
Have to find out for yourself at your hut.

The cat won't tell.
Whoops, what the hell.
That cat maybe just did.
Don't flip your lid.

There is a Jefigoop in your shoe.
That might be fun from Grumpy Goo.
Did you see it in there?
Go and look at your lair.








That makes a whole 52 kids books that are done. I guess they are still fun. So I will keep giving them a run. At least for now under my sun. 100 would be a ton. I may get there with my book mass as I keep rhyming away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

The Big And Grand Want A Hand!

So the other day the cat was out and about at his bay. A nut I had not seen in a while gave me a smile. He thought he was so grand. You know, the bragging without bragging type across the land.

Look at me.
Come and see.
Look at my cash.
Who needs small trash.

I'm so great.
None can relate.
My ego will rise.
I'm just that wise.

I've won the prize.
I hope no one dies.
Whoops, I bought it.
Same type of shit.

Bought my own reward.
Hey, I pulled the cord.
I'm just that good.
Admire me you should.

Look my way.
Look at my new display.
Look at it and be impressed.
Your life is so messed.

Mine is so grand.
I can't even carry it in each hand.
I need a trolley to get it out.
Don't I have such clout?

That is right.
You love the site.
Stare at my big TV.
It is such a sight to see.

It makes me so great.
Everyone will want to be my mate.
All because I have a giant TV.
You can see it from a far away tree.

So admire and hang your head.
This is bigger than your bed.
You have to be jealous of me.
That is how it's supposed to be.

I'm not overcompensating.
My ego is not inflating.
I'm just that good.
Bow down to me you should.

Pffft whoopdi friggin doo. I didn't give him the time of day once he entered my view. Wow, you have a big TV. You are still a douchebag to me. And there was my little rant of the day. Big TVs are fine at my bay, but that doesn't make one anymore likeable to me. I'll still give them a flea on the knee. Or maybe just some gas out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

A Hope On A Rope!

The cat sees it all the time, all the wishing and hoping with every chime. Does a wish work? Is hope a perk? It sure beats the cat but we will see where hope is at.

I hope you read.
I hope you care.
I hope your cat you feed,
Even if it has no hair.

They do look funny,
I hope you stick with me.
I hope I'm on the money.
I hope I can finish this spree.

Yeah, no hoping for that.
Easy as can be for the cat.
I hope you do not go splat.
Hoping for tit for tat?

That would be good.
No splat needed here.
Hope you understood.
Hope there is no fear.

I hope you do not mind,
That I took the I away.
Hope is just as kind.
I is not needed at my bay.

Hope can go far?
Hope can get things done?
Hope you are not at a bar,
Hope you like a growing bun.

Or would that be two?
Hope I have not lost you.
That would be nothing new.
I do that at my zoo.

Hope for a dope?
Hope on a rope?
Like that kind of soap?
Hope you do not mope.

A hoping stops moping.
Hope makes you happy.
A hoping prevents noping.
Unless you are flappy.

My hope is through.
My hope is done.
Hope all is good with you.
Hope you had fun.

Ever notice all the hope at your sea? Hope, but nothing is done by thee or around thee. You can hope and wish but still be flopping like a fish. I suppose you need to hope and do and not just sit on the loo. Now I am through my hope pass with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

A Rhyme Time Puppet Show Sinks Really, Really Low!

Welcome the the cat's first puppet show ever, unless you count mini me or that hand up the ass endeavor. This one is done by me. You never know who may get Puppet-ed at my sea. Just another thing to come due. My, what will I think up next at my zoo?


My paws are bare.
But what do you care?
They do have things to say.
From others anyway.


Maybe go join a cult.
But what about bear caves?
Good place to throw raves.


Don't know, but making that would take bravado.
Yeah, that didn't really rhyme, did it?
Nah, but we're too drunk to care about that shit.




Why are you asking me? I just pulled an all nighter.
I do know writerly isn't a word though.
Is there another career you want to give a go?



I'm waiting and don't see squatley.
We're getting good at this made up rhyme stuff.
Add making up words and this author thing is tough.

Like with a cat paw up our ass we'll never need the facilities.
But those claws can get rather raw.
They ought to make a claw free law.



If they see you like this they may get pissed.
Yeah, they missed out on any organs from me.
That and they never got to play kickball with thee.




Do we really have to go through that noverty?
That wasn't even a good attempt to hide that we can't rhyme.
Maybe we'll sound poverty stricken and be paid like a street mime?
 



I hear listening to them can drive you a little mad.
Like your head being tossed on badly drawn skirts?
Or having cat paws stuck up your ass while the fleabag flirts.


He threw us away and we're stuck in this gown.
At least you don't have pine needles up yours.
No, I just got some blue man rooting through my drawers.

And there you are. The first puppet show has come due at my sand bar. The beer guys were Puppet-ed today. Who could be next at my bay? Which one is saying which? Bah, you can guess with my bait and switch. Would you like my paw stuck up your mass? It is okay, you can tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Just A Little Bit In The Thick Of It!

The cat finds some humans so dumb that he has had better conversations with dried chewing gum. I would never touch such gum though. But that you probably know. Do some humans have a block? Maybe they hit their head on a big rock.

That won't work.
You will fry.
I'm the jerk?
Fine, go ahead and die.

Told you so.
But oh know.
You are slow.
Rub your poor toe.

Try, try again?
Are you nuts?
Like an egg laying hen,
Or the snip snipped nuts of mutts?

That is a bad thing,
Just so you know.
The dong before ding,
Made you eat crow.

I know it will.
I know it must.
I guess the stupid pill,
Gained your trust.

I'll try this way.
No, it isn't the same.
It's the next day,
Yesterday was lame.

It still is broke.
It still is busted.
Did you take a toke?
Maybe that brain is crusted?

I'll have it done.
I'll get it through.
I need more sun.
Not try something new.

Beat a dead horse.
Beat the mutts nuts.
Par for the course,
When in repeat ruts.

I will wait for rain.
I don't need the sun.
At least you feel no pain,
From the stupidity spun.

This could apply to many who do things one way and never get it right at their bay. Those idiots and their remakes too. Those you can flush down the loo. But the cat watched one person try a search and they were always left in the lurch. They typed the same thing each and every day, expecting things to change in their display. Hmmm slow on the uptake I suppose. I guess that is the way the wind blows. Now I will go release some pent up gas from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

When They Pop Do You Stop?

So you just never know when an idea will show. It could come here or there or could come when changing your underwear. Hey, ideas don't judge even if you have a umm smudge. Good visual there? Okay, on with it at my lair.

When they pop,
Do you stop?
Do you plop,
Or does it flop?

The idea may show,
High or low.
While on a roof,
Or rolling like a goof.

Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Add it to the crop,
Or let it flop?

The idea may come,
When groping a bum.
Maybe while cleaning the litter,
Or screwing with the babysitter?

The idea would judge.
Divorce court you may trudge,
Or maybe to jail.
Could be in need of bail.

Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Even if there is a cop,
Beating you with a mop?

The idea may show,
In a nice fancy bow.
Or it could show,
And bring hell from below.

Do you toss it,
If it is hard shit?
Do you ride it out,
Slippery like a trout?

Or do you let it go.
I know, I know.
Stupid damn song.
Now let it go is strong.

Do you stop,
When it goes plop?
Or do you carry on,
Hoping a new one will dawn?

Ideas can hit wherever and they can be clever. But do you stop and write them down? May try to remember them as you drive across town? Hopefully you leave the babysitter be. But hey, ideas don't judge what they see. Now the cat will pass some gas and get another idea for a post for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

A Little Chew Between Me And You!

So the cat is fine with letting mutts take the rap, after all, they do eat their own crap, but I'll put a theory to rest. It's not just dogs that can chew with zest.


You see this corner here?
It is shiny I fear.
But it got chewed.
The table never found it rude.

Who did that?
Not Cassie cat.
Nope, it was me.
Caused me glee.


Even the rocking chair.
The whole Pat rocks incident at our lair.
Do you remember that?
The ninja wannabe said it to Pat.

How rude is that?
So I chewed the chair, stat.
 It was tasty as can be,
And still caused me glee.


 When there is no mouse,
I'll settle for the cat house.
It is furry though.
Could make a hairball show.

But with a little chew,
It doesn't taste so eww.
Just suck it back.
The fur doesn't lack.


Pat can't understand why,
I chew the scooper on the fly.
It is just there, okay.
So I chew it each day.

Plastic is yummy.
Not hard on my tummy.
I don't chew the scoop part though.
That is just nasty, you know.


And back to the corner.
Nope, not for Jack Horner.
That guy was horny?
Maybe he was just thorny.

That one isn't the same.
Two corners are my claim.
Have to make them match.
I chew so no need to scratch.

See? It's not just mutts. They may sniff more mutts, but cats can chew too. I enjoy it at my zoo. Pat just doesn't care, telling me I'll get a splitter in my lip at my lair. Like I'd let that come to pass. Pffft to any splinters says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Lose Or Win Not Always A Sin!


As many authors know, you may never win a lot of dough, as in get sales. Not like the lottery fails. That is just throwing away money, pretending you'll win and all will be sunny. It's a chance, but only at a far, far away glance. But even if you don't win still doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a spin.

You just never know,
How things will go.
But if you sit on your ass,
Nothing will come to pass.

A fail is a fail.
But you made a trail.
A trail with some strife,
But that is just life.

Learned what won't work.
Learned a new perk.
Not all is bad.
Fun can be had.

Done more than most,
As in life they coast.
Never climbing that hill,
Buried in a landfill.

Where as you may smell,
But what the hell.
You can shower it off,
No need to scoff.

Try, try again.
Said at many a den.
But that is only true,
If there is a point at your zoo.

Learn one way it won't work.
That is a perk.
Learn another and another,
Until a win you smother.

But knowing when to cut the cord,
Is its own reward.
Then there's a new path.
You can always take a bath.

A fail may come once more,
Maybe even a fail of lore.
But what the hell.
You rang the bell.

A win is grand.
Liked across the land.
But a fail you learn,
Both have their turn.

Afraid to fail at your sea? Afraid to fail miserably and fall from a tree? Better to fail than to never try. But that is what keeps the cat spry. Try this and that, maybe chew some fat. Hey, helps with the mass of my trying little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

The Say And Do Of A Few!

The cat loves the say and do types who have all kinds of excuses coming from their wind pipes. They find one out their ass if they need to with this class. Seen them high and low? Bet you have at your show.

The say and do,
Here for you.
Do this and that.
Chew no fat.

Whoops, to that.
It went splat.
Why is that?
We fell on a mat.

We bumped our toe.
A bruise did show.
Can't do that now.
Don't raise an eyebrow.

It is true.
The say and do.
But our poor toe,
Became a foe.

So now we can't.
Go ask an ant.
They have a say and do.
They have an army too.

We said we'd help.
But now we yelp.
We'd said we'd do this.
But now we are a miss.

If you must know,
We stubbed our toe.
That is why we lied.
In it we take no pride.

Or maybe we do.
But not telling you.
With the say and do,
We screw over a few.

How about that?
We chewed the fat.
A lie times two,
With the say and do.

The say and do,
Hasn't a clue.
It's the say and don't.
Do what we say, we won't.

Don't you love those people all around? Better off listening to a hound. At least they don't have a lose screw when it comes to the say and do. Do it and it's done and then away we run. At least it works for us in mass, even my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

You Control How You Roll!


Insecure are you?
Insecure you say?
Insecure is true?
Pfft it can go away.

Can't control the weather.
Can't control the moon.
But insecurity is a feather,
Not the weight of a baboon. 

Can't control the gas price.
Can't control the redo.
Actually if you think twice,
That isn't entirely true.

But it takes work.
Like not getting gas.
Walking on a freeway isn't a perk.
But insecurity is an easy pass.

Can't control the Earth.
Can't control the cat.
But you can control your worth,
So no need to go splat.

Can't control the clouds.
Can't control the traffic.
But no need to draw crowds,
Insecurity needn't an info graphic.

Can't control the heat.
Can't control the cold.
But insecurity can be beat,
Before it takes hold.

Control how you roll.
Control it through and through.
Then when it comes for a stroll,
Flush it down the loo.

Insecurity controlled.
It has been sent away.
It came and you patrolled,
Flushed it into the bay.

Can't control the this,
Can't control the that.
But insecurity you can miss,
Just tell it to scat.

Control it at your sea? Hopefully you aren't on a controlling spree. That would be bad. Just control things that can be had. Then poof, they go away. On to a brighter day. Don't want them to give you gas. That is no fun to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I've Been Caught For I'm A Robot!

Stupid Google came up with a bright idea yesterday. Unless it is just my bay. They can stick this in their ear and I hope it gets stuck in their rear. What's so lame? The Robot Where's Waldo Game!

It's easy to play,
Any old day.
Comment and done.
Nope, there's more fun.

Are you a robot?
Nah, no Skynet plot.
Click the little box.
Google gets chicken pox.

Up they pop.
It won't stop.
You can't flop.
Look at the crop.

Where's Waldo?
Is he a baldo?
A cheat rhyme.
Blame a mime.

Oh wait!
Waldo's a lame date.
You can't find him.
Go out on a limb.

Pick all images that are trees.
Watch as they sway in the breeze.
Oopsy, you missed one.
Die you and your robot fun.

Pick all flower pics.
Those pretty thinks on sticks.
Wooden ones don't count.
Sorry, you missed the amount.

Play the Where's whatever game.
It will bring you fame.
Pick the pics of what we say,
Or your comment won't display.

That is the new in.
No spam will spin.
We'll screw them all,
At every last blog wall.

Pick all things that are lame.
#1 is this stupid comment picture game.
It sure doesn't seem to be sparse.
Blogger can stick that up its arse.

Did you get that stupid picture captcha yet? The numbers/letters are a waaaaaaay better bet. At least you just have to stick them in. This you actually have to go and waste time looking to get a comment win. STUPID in every way and it seems to be being forced on every blogger bay. This idea can go choke on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Get It Here First With This Burst!

The cat will help all today. Plus I'll make some pay. Isn't that grand? I'll be helping out all across the land. So get it here first. Those other guys sell the worst.

Come one, come all.
Read the writing on the wall.
It is as safe as can be,
You can trust little old me.

I'm a feline after all.
We don't lie in the fall.
We lie in the sun.
I bet you liked that one.

Got you sucked in already.
It will be coming steady.
What? You don't know what it is?
Bah, you'll be begging for my new biz.

As long as you don't sniff a butt.
Leave that aspect to a mutt.
You'd look funny doing that.
But you're money would still be taken by the cat.

Hey, I can be bought.
Just don't sniff a lot.
What is it you ask?
First let me put on my mask.

Don't I look so wise in it?
I'm really the shit.
I read it in a book so it must be true.
Damn, I'm so great at my zoo.

Now come and sit,
Of course after you've paid for it.
No freebies for anyone.
Hey, I want to make a ton.

Now show some skin.
Don't worry, this isn't sin.
This is what you have to do.
Get ready, we go on two.

One, two, jab!
Did you like my stab?
Didn't I do that well?
Now your health is so swell.

I just gave you a shot.
It works a WHOLE LOT.
Now you won't get the common cold.
What? On my snake oil shot you aren't sold?

Are you lining up at my sea? Come on, show me the money. I'll save you from the common cold. My shot full of water is pure gold. Who needs one for the flu when you got my placebo at my zoo? So stick out your arm, water will do no harm. Hmm, may cause diarrhea, bloating, headaches, heart attacks, strokes, the common cold and gas. But that only happens to 0.000001% of those jabbed by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Something New From Orange To Blue!

The cat was just thinking the other day, I do that now and then at my bay, what if there were colors out there humans didn't know about? Like on some world with alien trout. Would we be able to see them all? What would we name call?

Orange and blue,
Are are a fine two.
Black and white,
Used day and night.

Some turn red,
From toes to head.
Others are tickled pink,
When brought to the brink.

There are shades of grey,
Not that smut book at my bay.
Let it go, okay?
Two in one today.

Anyway, time for new.
Would it hurt our view?
Would our brain fry?
Could it be seen by our eye?

A bit hard to comprehend?
Is the cat around the bend?
Humans think they have seen everyone,
But what if there is more color fun?

Leitus could be it.
Might cause you to spit.
Froom is another one.
Doesn't that sound fun?

Wroll brings something new.
It can be mixed too.
That creates trool.
It turns out rather cool.

Who knew there were more?
I made it up at my shore?
Pfft to that.
Trust the cat.

Nuun will be one.
Could make a pretty gun.
A pellet one.
No bullets are spun.

Colors that are new.
Think there are a few?
Or is the mind stuck?
Should anyone really give a umm duck?

Can you imagine waking up and a new color is in sight? Would that give you a fright? Be cool to the cat, as long as it wasn't the color of a probing alien where we are at. On that we'll take a pass. They won't be getting near my colorful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.