Saturday, December 31, 2016

A Little Change To Rearrange!

The magic day is back. Whoops, didn't we do that already this year at my shack? Back in October I think. Hmph, guess I'll have to go out and drink. Yeah, get drunk and sing a tune. It works for so many a loon.

May your day be the same.
May you keep the same name.
May you not drop dead.
May you not look like Fred.

May you not fall down.
May you not get run out of town.
May you not fall in a crater.
May you not get eaten by an alligator.

May you not tell a lie.
May you not trip and die.
May I not repeat myself any more today.
May you always have a litter tray.

May you not get rabies.
May you not get scabies.
May you not get scurvy.
May you not turn more curvy.

May you not fall off a ledge.
May you not get attacked by a hedge.
May you not forsake me.
May you not get a flea on your knee.

May you not fall in a ditch.
May you not deal with a gold digging bitch.
May you not think that goes one way.
May you not deal with a dick after your pay.

May you not get dumber.
May you not get beat by a drummer.
May you not lose your job.
May you not choke on corn on the cob.

May you not get hit by a car.
May you not get covered in tar.
May you not get probed by alien creatures.
May you not get stalked by horror creature features.

May you not have to watch a remake.
May you not get bacteria from a lake.
May you not need a file in a cake.
May you not have to deal with a fake.

May you not break a bone.
May you not get an unpleasant groan.
May you not get stuck in quick sand.
May you not run away with a killer clown band.

Isn't that a cheery tune? I'll sing it from now until tomorrow at noon. I may need a good beat though. May you give a good beat a go. Anything I missed? Care to add to the list? Could go on all day with this pass. I'll just end with pffft to any magic day says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, December 30, 2016

The Cry Of The Lie!

So we all know lies float here and there, they float about with many to spare. The cat can spin a good one. Not that any here need to be done. But then trust is gone. Or is that all a con?

The sky is falling.
Some may be balling.
The waterworks may show.
Whoops, a lie stooped low.

A nuke went boom.
Some go all doom and gloom.
Stocking up a ton.
Whoops, a lie was spun.

A....shut up already.
We know you lie steady.
Cry wolf is all you do.
We won't believe you.

This is the best.
It beats all the rest.
Try it today.
Come and play.

Whoops, didn't work.
That isn't a perk.
It must be a mistake.
It sure can't be fake.

That is so grand.
All have it across the land.
Buy it with cold hard cash.
Come and make a dash.

Whoops, it was no good.
I must have misunderstood.
That is on me.
After all, it was on TV.

An awful product here.
Don't add it to your gear.
Stay far far far away.
Go somewhere else to play.

Wow, it was really grand.
They must have took a new stand.
No must really mean yes.
That is how they confess.

For the media can't lie.
They sit upon high.
No lying comes through.
It was on TV to view.

Ever notice that? One can tell a liar to scat. But they believe the media even when they cry wolf a 1000 times over. Are humans as dumb as rover? Might be insulting rover there. The media sure cry wolf to spare. I'll just roll my eyes and give them sass. That is all they'll get from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

With This Embrace We Go To Space!

The cat has found another obsession in a long line. You humans sure do provide plenty of material for the feline. What is this one you ask? Why it is a beam me up task.

Things in space.
It's quite the race.
Who needs a moon?
Sing that tune.

Off to space.
We're an ace.
Off you go.
Quite a show.

A car in space.
Wow, what an embrace.
A tractor too.
Damn, that's new.

A duck in space.
Quite the case.
Throw in a towel.
That makes all howl.

A pointy rock.
That spells space shock.
A hillbilly banjo.
Way to go.

A half eaten pop tart,
As a work of art.
Some counterfeit money.
Aliens will find it funny.

A run down tank.
Take that to the bank.
A lucky rabbit's foot.
Won't be covered in soot.

Some mouth wash.
That idea we won't squash.
Viagra may as well go.
Just in case, you know.

A bag of cat shit.
There we have it.
A light bulb or two,
Along with a port-a-loo.

Some dog hair.
They have plenty to spare.
Maybe even some tax man bills.
Now those would bring thrills.

What would you send into space? Anything you'd embrace? I hope that is not the case. You humans are a strange race. Whoopdi friggin doo is all that can be said at my zoo. Wait! Let's send to space some grass. That would sure, not a chance, impress my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

A Right Takes Flight!

Well maybe more than one right as the cat takes flight. I couldn't stop. We don't want such things to flop. Humans must be in the know. We can't have them getting lazy and stooping low.

Animal rights.
Under spotlights.
There they are,
Near and far.

You've seen a ton.
They are given a run.
And good they are.
But there are more on par.

Your lap is fair game.
You and your flame.
You don't like it? Tough.
We will get rough.

Your attention is needed.
All day it must be deeded.
You will get a break when we say.
Otherwise, have a nice day.

You must shovel and scoop.
No matter if we have smelly poop.
If it's not clean,
Things may get obscene.

You must watch your own feet.
Some things may not be sweet.
If you step in goo or a hairball,
Hey, watch where you go down the hall.

You must hide breakables away.
If not, well okay.
You'll learn what will and won't break.
No need for a double take.

You must hide the paper.
Who can do such a caper.
Like the dog ate the homework.
Hey, paper as fiber can be a perk.

You have to pee?
Hold it at your sea.
We are on your lap.
Stay here while we nap.

Your food is ours as well.
Even stuff we can't spell.
We want it all.
You're our own private mall.

How are those rights? Don't they all deserve their own spotlights? Any you would add? No wonder we drive you humans mad. The cat loves it though as I run to and fro. I knock things over with each pass. It is so fun to do for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Obsession Much? Just A Touch!

Humans sure have a few things they obsess over. At least it isn't the things of rover. Well in some cases I suppose. Let's just hope not many stoop to such lows. Time to rank and you can take that to the bank.

How was it?
Good or shit?
Great or grand?
Give it a hand?

Nope, not at all.
Trash on call.
Wait, it was great.
Don't give it hate.

....been there, done this.
What could be amiss?
Oh right, the rank.
At least it isn't dark and dank.

It was between one and three.
That is my ranking spree.
I'd put it above four.
But one and three take the tour.

Of those it would be a three.
That is the way I see.
Of that it would be number 6.
1,5,3,7,9 it couldn't nix.

Can't you rank?
No gas in the tank?
Rank it against more.
Give it an encore.

Make a fine list.
Nothing can be missed.
Rank it against all.
You can do it at your hall.

I'll pull rank if you don't.
Rank it you won't?
Well I rank you a zero.
You are no ranking hero.

How about you?
Ranking came due?
You get to be ranked 5.
That is great to survive.

I need to rank more.
Ranking is such chore.
This is ranked 1024 out of 2204.
Don't you love my ranking tour?

Do you insist on ranking everything? Do you give rankings a fling? The top ten this and that or best to worst of such and such where you're at? Humans seem to have to rank all and then give sass. Can't have anyone disagreeing with this pass. That is just oh so crass. Pffft I'll just let something rank come out of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, December 26, 2016

On This Day Cheery May Go Away!

The cheer may be gone as many fall for the con. What is the con? The con that will dawn. That is just grand. Aren't I confusing in my land? That is nothing new. Now on with it for you.

Support desk, what is your issue?
Do you need more than a tissue?
Wait, that is not right.
I have to direct you to our site.

There you are.
Help was on par.
Have a nice day.
That's all I can say.

Ring, ring, ring.
A button pressing fling.
Hit one for this.
Hit two and don't miss.

Maybe try three.
Better hope you don't have to pee.
If you hit four,
You'll get a world tour.

The time it takes to answer that is.
We've got more important biz.
Solitaire I need to beat.
Plus I also need to eat.

Listen to the tune.
You can dance like a loon.
That will pass the time.
Your carrier may charge you more than a dime.

Support desk, what is your inquiry?
Better hurry before your expiry.
That is not a death threat.
We just have many in the net.

We don't have all day.
Out with it we say.
Oh, that is on the site.
Go there and everything will be alright.

I hope we helped you.
I know that hope is true.
Come back any time.
To not to would be a crime.

Ring, ring, ring.
Have a button fling.
Press one, two or three.
Enjoy the button spree.

Some may be looking for help with things they bought. Whether returning or fixing a broken lot. This is what they may find. Don't you love the help desk for mankind? Hmm, maybe they need one as a whole. There the brain dead could take a stroll. Another post that could be. We shall see. Don't you love dealing with them with each pass? They are so annoying to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

A Merry Trick That Is Ick!

Pat tried to get us to dress up on this cheery day. To that we said a big no way. Is is cheery or merry? Beats me, go eat a cherry. How did he do it? He pulled some tricky shit.


He went back,
Back at our shack,
And said we did it before.
Pfffft like I'd buy that at our shore.


He even tried Cassie.
He wasn't tricking that lassy.
She just ran under the bed.
One way to get nothing on her head.


Then he said he'd make us look dumb.
Pffft does that bother my rhyming bum?
Nope, not one bit.
 Isn't that nose a hit?


Cassie didn't care.
Are you even aware she's there?
That snowman is too happy.
He'll be the one to make all yappy.


 So he had to settle for this.
He made up our Christmas bliss.
Meanwhile we are going to knock over the tree.
I hope a great day is had at your sea. 

Oh and payback is sweet. 
It is ever so neat.
See? We can do it too.
Even quote a movie with gas at our zoo.

 
Did he really think we'd fall for that? Did the fat guy find you where you are at? Maybe he can bring Pat better photoshopping skills. He could use them to pay the bills. Yeah right. May scare the rats away at night. Hope a good holiday is being had at your merry or cheery pad. I will now go find Cass so we can get to knocking down that tree that is in front of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

The Eve Has Fell, Time To Sell!

Christmas Eve is here. Let's all give a cheer. It's the eve of a day. Yesterday was the eve of today's fray. Can we go all eve eve eve eve at every sea? Only be 365 eves that need to come to be. You could count them down. Or maybe just skip town.

The one eve.
It's ready to thieve.
It's lonely and sad.
More eves were rad.

It's eve time.
Boom, Christmas chime.
Now 365 eves are here.
Ready for next year's cheer?

An eve to weave.
Weave of the eve.
Would that be eves?
Watch the falling leaves.

Snow you say?
Not here on display.
Nope, not one bit.
I'm not on the eve of that shit.

Does that peeve?
I got more than one eve.
Where is this going?
Pffft damned if I'm knowing.

I'm just writing on the eve,
The eve that will soon leave.
There are still plenty though.
Many more eve's to go.

Valentines Day was two eves ago.
Still plenty of eves in tow.
No fat guys in diapers at least.
Who needs such a beast?

Can you do the math?
How many in the eve path?
Too drunk for it?
Was that some good shit?

Might be a bit early though,
Especially if some give #1 a go.
Then they will leave,
Preparing for the eve.

Are the eves even?
Are you believe in?
Are the eves odd?
Think my eve is flawed?

Are you even still here? Did you run in fear? Was it even or odd? Wait, that's math, dear God. I know you said that. 319 eves from Christmas for the cat. I can still say Merry Christmas Eve though. Want to see all those eves in a row? I'm far too lazy to give that a pass. Maybe in another 365 eves I'll do it with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Can't Post At Your Coast!

The cat isn't seeing many posts this time of year, just the average holiday cheer. What could be the cause? Why is blogland on pause? Yeah, I'm not that naive at my sea but it works for a post spree.

I can't post.
There is no time.
Need a ghost,
Or maybe a mime.

Kids all happy,
Pets here and there.
Nothing is sappy,
All around care.

Meals to make.
Stuff to clean.
Visits to take.
Everything serene.

What's a blog?
Oh yeah, that thing.
I'm stuck in a fog,
The phone gave a ring.

More visitors for me.
Isn't that grand?
Love all this glee,
All across the land.

Shoppers to shove.
Deals to grab.
Whoops, not so much love,
But a deal I did nab.

Things to wrap.
Things to buy.
Then there's a nap,
For the last minute guy.

Next we unwrap,
Then we visit more.
Everyone will clap,
From shore to shore.

Back to the nap.
Sleep is in need.
That jolly old chap,
Gets credit at every feed.

Oh yes, the blog.
I remember that.
Cleared is the fog,
Time to chew the fat.

About the size of things as holiday time springs? Being far ahead helps the cat with that. We can get it done where we are at. But hope a merry time is had from pad to pad. Plus we hope you don't get any Christmas gas and, if so, avoid my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

An Attack By A Pack!

The cat has ducked for cover. You better do so too with your lover. Don't step out of the house and block any holes big enough to fit a mouse. Why is that? The elves want all to go splat.

We were Santa's slaves.
Working so much we never get laid.
Living in tiny over stuffed caves,
Making toys and not getting paid.

Now the day has come.
Let Santa go and do his own work.
We will no longer be his chum.
No more slaves for that fat jerk.

We would chop off his head,
Ending that twinkle in his eye.
But that fat guy can't end up dead.
We can't say we never gave it a try.

So with much regret,
There is only one thing to do.
Our plan has now been set.
Another Santa slave will never come due.

We must end all life.
We must kill humans everywhere.
From husband to kid to wife.
No one we shall spare.

Then his toys will go nowhere.
None of them will be in need.
No cookies and milk to spare,
And we can go do the deed.

The twinkle will be in our eyes.
We'll be the jolly ones.
Without humans his legend dies.
But we won't use guns.

That wrapping paper you tear,
It has a special gift for you.
It has gifts to spare.
We added something new.

With one simple touch,
You will become sterile.
Then you can't do much,
And will croak in single file.

But if a few win out,
And still can pop out the kids.
We'll corral them like trout.
Other species can then take bids.

See what I mean? Those elves are going to end us at every scene. Will you hide away? Watch what you touch at your bay. How much do you think a bear would bid for you? Maybe an alien wanting you for their zoo? That is such a mean plan to come to pass. You've been warned of the elf plot from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Round Fifty Three Is As Cheery As Can Be?

The search engine nuts still find me. They must like my sea. What does that say about the cat? Bah, we don't need to get into that. We'd be here all day. Right! On with it at my bay.

sparkly hot farts 30 times

Damn, what did you eat? It sure wasn't neat.

hazards are everywhere

That they are. Like you at a bar?

cat hairball on wood stove

You want to fry one up? You're one sick pup.

"you little igits"

Anne get lost? Is that going to cost?

five goats in boat

It's only one. Sorry to burst your fun.

cat birthday picture with words

Because no words is a shame. Have to have a name.

pjathatt

Spelled wrong. We'll pjlay along.

holybackwards

Yloh what you want? Some kind of ghostly haunt?

sell me your fur

No way. Have some litter from my tray.

furry spotted wigs

Guess that was your second choice? Did you find a wig in which to rejoice?

good gracious cats

No such thing. Unless it was more of a reaction you did sing.

curtains for you, Pat

Pat has a threatener out there. His back better beware.

nimal art at night

Is it glow in the dark? Check out the dog park.

bed eating people

Either way that one goes it will cause woes.

And with the winner for today they sure like to play. Play with clay? Beats me at my bay. As usual I don't want to know. Feel free to guess though.

Clay woman tiits on me

Maybe statue love? I guess it could fit like a glove? Might be covered in pigeon poop though. I could  be wrong and it could be crow. I'm just a cat, not an expert on scat. And so round fifty three has come to pass. Gotta, not really, love the search engine nuts who find my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

A Fact Filled Cheer Sure Is Near!

The cat wanted to keep the holiday cheer rolling so we are going to do some fact strolling. By the end of this you'll be as cheery as can be. You can trust little old me.

Fresh water kills you quick.
Like getting conked with a brick.
Salt water takes 10 mins to kill you.
Drowning now, what to do, what to do.

Some mothers don't have a hanky,
But they got the baby from some panky.
So how do they get rid of the snot?
They use their mouth to suck out the whole lot.

Use that office mug?
Suck it back with a chug chug?
20% of them contain fecal matter.
Hmmm, a yummy poop platter?

Have nice clear skin?
That sure is a win.
Humans shed 40 pounds in their life.
Gotta love sharing those skin cells with the wife.

Pucker up under the mistletoe.
Let the emotions flow.
There are only 1000s of microorganisms in your yap.
I wonder if they take a nap?

Disneyland is the place to be.
It's so happy from sea to sea.
Ever notice the dust there?
Ashes of the dead are dropped off without a care.

What was that?
You fart where you're at?
We breath in a liter a day.
How do they measure that anyway?

20 pounds isn't much, right?
Even if dropped from a big height.
But 20 pounds of pressure can pop a lad's ball.
I'm not talking about one you bounce at your hall.

This one is disgusting as can be.
It involves your pee.
People use urine to whiten teeth.
Staple that to a Christmas wreath.

And before you go to the loo,
Keep this in mind at your zoo.
Each year 40,000 toilet related accidents occur.
Those drunks and their vision blur.

Aren't you still cheery? Isn't that pee thing eerie? How would anyone this day in age think that? Blah, is all that can be said by the cat. There are actual sites on it too. Some people have no clue. The snot sucking would be nasty as well. We'll never ring either bell. Now I'll go pass some cheery gas out my ever so cheerful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Come On Down But You May Frown!

Santa pops down chimneys so they say. But we see him in a clean red suit at every bay. At least all the depictions shown. What is really in there would change your cheery tone.

The fat guy falls,
After you deck the halls.
Down the chimney he goes,
Maybe burning his toes.

But that's not all.
For he may stall.
Dead guys have been found.
Into such a chimney he won't abound.

Of course he may be happy,
While you take your umm nappy.
For 100,000s have also been found.
You may hear a cheery sound.

He won't have to shop.
For when he goes for the drop,
Shoes he may find.
Found has been many a kind.

A burglar Santa may be.
Taking instead of giving to thee.
But he may find a vice versa one.
Yep, a burglar gave a chimney a run.

Dead raccoons, birds and even cats.
Now that would cause spats.
Glad we have no chimney here.
Santa won't find those near.

A Santa suit got stuck.
What the umm fluck?
There are two Santa's now?
That takes away the wow.

Even has been burnt toast.
Damn, a screwed up weenie roast?
How did that get in there?
Someone have toast to spare?

And unlike most,
Including the toast.
This one is not so rare.
Bird shit galore so beware.

So while most are rare,
Santa may need to take care.
There is more under foot,
Than the typical soot.

Ever find something strange in the chimney at your sea? Hear of any of the ones used by me? Wouldn't it be nice to find a fortune hidden there? That would bring a cheery holiday to any lair. The cat will stay far away from chimneys though. Bird shit galore is so eww you know. Plus all the other gunk in mass. That all just stirs up the OCD of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

It'll Fit Because I Say It!

Some humans really can't take it they were wrong. They sing the denial song. That and say the same crap over and over. I'd much rather deal with rover.

It will fit.
I say it.
So it will fit.
Takes no wit.

Whoops, dinged the car.
I still got par.
So it fit.
Insurance will buy it.

Whoops, I broke the door.
But done with that chore.
It fit into the room.
Who needs a door to loom?

Whoops, can't move away.
For the truck I did pay.
I got the small one.
Hey, can say we are done.

Whoops, says the hick.
Lost it some slick.
The poor sheep fixed him.
Hey, got some lovin on a whim.

Whoops, says the clothes.
They cause woes.
Shove it in and boom.
Closet sprouts like a mushroom.

Whoops, says the box.
Shove in those extra socks.
Box breaks all around.
Look! A bed for a hound.

Whoops, says the head.
Almost ended up dead.
Stuck between the stair rails.
Love the sound of wails?

Whoops, you're a cat.
Forget all of that.
We'll fit anywhere.
Had to add that at my lair.

It still fit.
See my wit.
I made it fit.
Don't be a nitwit.

Are you a denial case? Do the "it will fit" you embrace? Then you end up with more of a mess. Come now, you can confess. The cat won't make fun of you much. Maybe just a touch. It is the right fit to come to pass for my ever so fit little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Kid And Child Run Wild!

So the cat hears all, we know that at my hall. The strangeness that can come is always amusing to my little rhyming bum. I suppose that can be strange too. A rhyming bum in a zoo. On with it. My rhyming bum may soon need to shit.

Childish we've done.
With a adultish run.
That we sure know.
Unless you forgot at my show.

How adultish of you.
Less brain cells in view?
All that smoking the good stuff?
Boy, adultish is rough.

Back on task.
Pull back the mask.
Put down the flask,
For I just have to ask.

A 40 year old acts dumb,
Boy, they are a childish chum.
That is just so bad.
"Society" deems that not rad.

The cat would tell them to stick it.
But you all know that bit.
It still had to be said.
Stick it in their rear or head.

Many holes in a head.
They all couldn't be said.
I don't have all day.
Right! On with it at my bay.

A 40 year old gets taken.
At night they are shaken.
Stolen away in the night.
That sure isn't alright.

Just like childish isn't alright.
But kidnapping is more of a fright.
Did you catch my drift?
Are you adultish and swift?

You can't be childish.
No, that can't run wildish.
But you can be kidnapped.
Is your mind now trapped?

So kidish is the winner?
Kidish isn't a sinner?
Damn, my adultish worked for me.
I figured out kidish is the way to be.

Ever notice that? It just had to be picked on by the cat. I'm sure some 40 year old isn't a kid, but if taken, they still get a kidnapping bid. Adultnapping too wordy? Guess that got flipped the birdy. Maybe I'll teach a kidish class? Bah, I'm far too lazy a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, December 16, 2016

The Gift Of Not Making Your Spirits Spot!

The cat is here to help you today. Although you may not like what I have to say. The cat is fine with that though. Get ready for what is about to show.

Gifts are grand,
Gifts are great.
Many across the land,
Will soon be a trait.

Wishing and wanting,
All want some.
Some so haunting,
While beating the drum.

Sorry to say,
Not really one bit,
That in your fray,
You won't get it.

A winning lottery ticket.
Ha! Fat chance.
Was that a cricket?
You broke out of your trance?

A Ferrari.
Yeah, and aliens will show.
You may get an Atari,
Just so you know.

A mansion in the hills.
Nah, not even in this market.
Sorry, no playboy thrills.
There you can't park it.

A book deal from the big boys.
No one works on Christmas day.
So you are better off with cheap toys,
As that won't be on display.

A trip around the world.
Whoops, the ticket got lost.
In the sand no toes will be curled,
Maybe a ferry ride at a cheap cost.

A windfall from a dead relative.
How morbid are you?
Do you have one in captive?
Yeah, a cheat rhyme came due.

Whoops, dreams are dead.
Not sorry about that.
No sugar plums in your head?
Gonna wish death on the cat?

Did the cat burst your bubble? Want to bury the cat in rubble? Hey, I just wanted to make sure your hopes weren't gotten up. But you may find a poop eating pup. What could be better than that? Right, a no poop eating cat. It is okay if you give the cat sass, it is enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall. 

Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Bottom Line Sure Does Shine!

The cat and you know that dough rules each corporate show. That is so easy to see a fly could know it comes to be. Maybe that is why they are on a wall? They listen at each hall? Or is that a dumb saying? Bah, not worth replaying.

Look at that ad!
It is so rad.
I want that job.
Gonna beat out old, Bob.

Creative in the title.
I sure won't be idle.
I'll use my creative flow.
I'll be great, I just know.

Creative we want,
So they taunt.
Creative are you.
We'll take two.

Welcome to the club.
Ready to be all rub a dub dub?
We mean that literally too.
Don't get what we need from you?

Creative is more of a suggestion.
It's not even really a question.
More like the same old thing.
Hence the dubbing you will bring.

You see this?
We don't want to miss.
Do it the way it was always done.
But be creative and have fun.

No, don't do it that way.
Creative can go out to play.
We want it done exactly like that guy.
Creative for today may have been a lie.

That was well done.
It was the same as everyone.
See? No need to be creative.
We can't have you going native.

Stick to the plan.
Everyone is a fan.
We keep the status quo.
But use that creative flow.

Stifle it with ease.
It is such a breeze.
Be creative to make the usual align.
For it's all about the bottom line.

Jobs that say creative are usually not. Did you ever notice that plot? The same old shit or copy the last guy's hit. Why think of something new or take a chance? Let's stick with the rip off stance. Creative within the same old frame of mind. Now that is one of a billion or so mankind. I think I'll avoid that mass. I'd piss them off too much with my creative little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

A Whoopsy From Me!

A post with no words. Maybe set up by birds? Would that make two in one day? Did it scare you away? Damned if I know how a blank post got here. I could delete I suppose before all gives a peer. But what the hell. It will be a mystery post where I dwell.

The post was blank,
Blankity blank.
I rhymed like a cheat.
Ain't that a treat.

Why would it treat?
A disease at my street?
My ocd doesn't like that.
I'm a weird cat.

But that you knew.
Weird at my zoo.
But so are you.
Listening on cue.

Wow, look at me go.
Just off with the flow.
Haven't done this in a while.
Since 400 posts ahead turns the dial.

Just going with what comes.
Beating on the old drums.
Or would that be keys?
Bah, go ask the bees.

What else is new?
Hey, I'm asking you.
I've got nothing to tell.
Different day, same hell.

Well not really hell.
It just rhymed swell.
Sometimes I do that.
Rhyming any old strat.

If it fits,
Won't get the shits.
Hmm that could be taken wrong.
So we shall move along.

Move to where?
Beats my lair.
The words are moving though.
Your brain is too, I know.

Moving out the door?
That would suck forevermore.
And so ends my stream of thought.
Aren't whoopsy posts fun to do on the spot?

I must have had a blank one scheduled to go. Damned if I know. But it was there with a simple "." for a title. I thought blogger was being idle. But nope, it was the cat. How about that? 2 posts in one day. For 24 we aren't too far away. Those are done as well. I whoopsied those when ringing the bell. But fixed them up with each pass. So ends the spur of the moment post from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall. 

The Flashy Thing And Some String!

I like to sleep away. It is fun to do at our bay. That and annoy Pat. Hey, he can sure annoy us where we are at. The flashy box comes out to play no matter the time of day.


Napping away,
Enjoying my day,
When I get assaulted. 
That flashy thing needs to be halted.


You still there?
 Yes, I'm aware.
Now go away.
No more flashy play.


My eyes are gone.
Go mow a lawn.
Let me sleep.
I need to count sheep.


So not impressed.
That need not be confessed.
Can't you tell?
 I'm mad as hell.


Cassie doesn't care.
She is awake and aware.
But she just gives a dirty look.
Not moving at our nook.


Yeah, I'm still staring.
Can't you see my hateful glaring?
Take that flash away.
 I'll ruin your day.


Oh, you want to play.
 Not falling for it today.
I'll hold it here though.
Oh look, a crow!


I'll kill it now.
I do it silently with no meow.
You won't catch me.
I'll be as fast as can be.


Mmm, this plastic is good.
 Chew it up I should.
It has to be taken out.
I know I have the clout.


 What? I was playing?
Pffft I was just laying.
I only moved my head away.
I still don't want to play.

Isn't it rude when you get woken up by a flash? I'll have to drop that thing in the trash. Then Pat can't annoy us each day. Maybe I'll bury it in the litter tray. He'll never touch it after that. Time to resume my nap where we are at. First I may give that toy another pass. It has to be taught a lesson by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

I Object The Not With This Plot!

The cat likes to run and play, but that you knew at our bay. I tend to get "no" a lot though. It is sometimes followed by "that's not a toy" at our show. How rude is that? Pffft says the cat.

It can be eaten,
It can be beaten.
It can be thrown.
A toy at the tone.

TP works well.
Can be messy as hell.
Can also constipate me,
But it is a toy that gives glee.

The corner of this,
Sure brings bliss.
The corner of that,
Works for the cat.

I have to get my chew on.
No grass or lawn.
So I'll chew the corner of it.
By it, I mean anything with my chew fit.

A human toe.
Hey, it's low.
It can wiggle too.
A toy in my view.

A bare leg.
No need to beg.
I'll play and scratch.
That toy met its match.

String by the pound.
Let that surround.
I'll eat it all.
Bah, not bad for me at our hall.

A wire or two.
Hey, if thin I chew.
Wait, that is Cass.
They give me gas.

Any old thing sitting there,
Works at our lair.
Give it a good whack.
Poof, falls over and instant toy at our shack.

So it is a toy,
Brings me joy.
Can't go wrong.
What? I might not live long?

Agree with not a toy? Even if you get joy? Eating string by the pound is bad? Damn, no wonder Pat hides it at our pad. I've tried to eat tacks too. Not the brightest at my zoo. But hey, anything can be a toy. Not saying it is a good toy that brings joy. But it can still be a toy like a singing bass. I'll stick to that notion with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Mountain From A Mole With The Troll!

Trolls sure can come out from under their bridge. They now all seem to stand on a high ridge. They shout out every which way. Don't you just want to hear what they have to say?

I hate you.
That is right.
Every bit is true.
Day and night.

Today is sunny.
Here I would sit.
But I have to make like a bunny,
And hop to some shit.

You just suck.
Go and die.
Get hit by a truck.
I tell no lie.

Today is sunny.
Here I would sit.
But I have to make like a bunny,
And hop to some shit. 

The Earth is hollow.
It is how it is.
It's held up by Apollo.
I'm right in all my biz.

Today is sunny.
Here I would sit.
But I have to make like a bunny,
And hop to some shit.  

That is wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I won't play along.
I am right and you are wrong.

Today is sunny.
Here I would sit.
But I have to make like a bunny,
And hop to some shit. 

You really suck.
Speak to me.
I said you suck, fluck!
Don't let that be.

Today is sunny.
Here I would sit.
But I have to make like a bunny,
And hop to some shit. 

Isn't it fun to ignore the trolls? They sure like to assume their roles. Yapping at you all through the day. They have to argue and have their say. But the more you don't give a fluck, the more you prove they just suck. Don't say a word and they are absurd. Got better things to do with time in mass. But a few can get made fun of by my little rhyming ass.


Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

A Clean Kinda Scene!

The cat moved a while ago, technically not as I write this flow, but when we did they had to inspect. The dude was sure searching for some cleaning neglect.

It looks good.
Clean you sure did.
But I guess its not understood,
For I have to open each eye lid.

Whoops, I can't do that.
I may have to stare.
Maybe I'll chew some fat.
You got time to spare.

And yap he did.
Yap and yap.
Worse than a killer squid,
Not closing his trap.

After yap of the trap,
He went a looking.
Tried to give us a bad rap,
And steal our security deposit booking.

I've seen cat shit under the dryer.
So he bent down and looked.
Like the fumes wouldn't rise higher?
That's not even where the litter box was booked.

Did you know the center island moves?
Nah, I never figured that out.
I just ignored the obvious grooves.
So much dust can be under there he did shout.

Did the fridge come out?
The stove hopefully did too.
He bent and looked about,
Finding nothing to view.

What about under the stove top?
I bet you missed that one.
Maybe he was trying to make us flop?
Pffft that too was done.

The loo you may have missed.
That most people do.
Sorry, the loo wasn't dissed.
The bathtub done too.

I guess everything is fine.
Sign here and you are done.
He looked disappointed nothing did align,
Can't top my OCD cleaning run.

He may have been out to get our money, but we found it kinda funny. At least he got some exercise looking here and there. Ever get such a super at your lair? Now who knows where we are as this post is ahead by far. I just hope we aren't in Timbuktu, that wouldn't do. I did leave him some gas, but he can't charge me for air that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Why Keep To Add To The Heap?

Ever notice how cats hit things under the fridge and hide them away more than a smidge? Maybe we aren't really saving them at all. Maybe we just want a clearer hall. Do you humans act the same? Nope, no hiding game.

Look at that.
Great where you're at.
But it just sits there.
Never used at your lair.

But oh, it's rare?
Has the right flair?
A matching pair?
Double the useless to spare.

It might be used.
That sure leaves me amused.
5 years and never touched.
Yep, will be used muched.

Muched isn't a word,
But I'll flip Google the bird.
At least not used muched,
Still takes up no space and suched.

It fills the space.
My, what an embrace.
Good reason to keep.
No space to peep.

It might be worth money.
Now that can be funny.
Fools gold at your sea?
Many fools on a spree.

It's so me.
That gets a woweee.
So it is so you?
Damn, is it stuck to you too?

Others like it.
That makes it a hit.
Keep it for those who visit.
Maybe they can quiz it?

Too big to fit out the door.
That could be rough at your shore.
Maybe you need a new window?
Two for one with a heave ho.

Garbage won't take it.
Pffft who needs that shit.
Sit it on the sidewalk is all.
Some nut will take it and have a ball.

Do you refuse to throw away for rather lame reasons at your bay? A hoarder wannabe are you? Hey, it is your zoo. Keep what you wish, clutter or not. The cat just had to play with the plot. Now I'll go hide toys with Cass. They are cluttering up running space for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Can't Weather The Together?

With the holidays near the whole togetherness thing is kicking into gear. That is fine and dandy but some things going together isn't handy. At least not for the cat. Some are just scat.

Together forever.
Oh, how clever.
Like forever is a thing.
Forget that ring.

Together as one.
Oh, how fun.
Like fun run.
Nope, no fun done.

Like Wal-Mart greeter.
Oh they couldn't be sweeter.
Sweeter at ignoring you.
No meet and greet comes due.

Like cheap car fix.
That you can nix.
Cheap and car,
Get a hearty har har.

Like crazy fan.
Those you can ban.
Fan they are not.
Crazy is their plot.

Like easy move.
That's not easy to prove.
Always some shit comes up.
Easy to make a hiccup.

Like perfect book.
Give that a second look.
No such thing as perfection.
I'd like to see that detection.

Like beautiful snow.
That is just no.
Pffft to the white crap.
Ban it across the map.

Like yummy fish.
Pfft to that dish.
We'd run and flee.
On it we may pee.

Like on and on.
Is that a con?
I could keeping going.
But you get this showing.

The cat could go on all day. Does fun run work for your bay? Nope, doesn't work here. Any togetherness that doesn't work when near? I bet there are quite a few. Can you list two? Too many questions come to pass? I'm sure you can work together to answer my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

A Flip Flop Mind Of A Kind!

Human minds are like a deck of cards, the joker is hiding among the bards. That and they deal a new hand each day. Hell, maybe every couple of minutes on display.

I want that like here.
Please make it like that.
I really like that gear.
That is where it's at.

Wow, you got it done.
This is how I asked.
But the other way was more fun.
Can a reverse action be tasked?

Thanks for the reverse.
But I think it was better before.
I know I may make you curse,
But can you go back and re-explore?

That was how it got made.
It is back to what you did.
I think I'd like a little trade.
Can I put in a new bid?

That is a good mix.
You got it done pretty fast.
I have another small fix.
This will sure be a blast.

What a great job.
Can you take it back to before?
Your time I may rob,
But it needs that certain lore.

Now that is how I want it.
It is almost there.
Can you tweak it a bit.
I know you have some time to spare.

That is perfectly done.
You got it right on.
I think something else needs to be spun.
Ah, a new idea did dawn.

You added it in.
That was great.
It sure is a win.
Can you take away a trait?

There you go.
It is back to how it started.
I'll take it with a bow.
It and I will never be parted.

More like your mind and you were already parted. You change your mind faster than the cat just farted. Are you one of those? Do you strike a flip flop mind changing pose? Then in the end you take what was there at the start. That is worse than a brain fart. All of this has just given me gas. I won't change my mind about passing that out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Melt Away Those On Display!


The cat is back,
Back at my shack.
To be back wouldn't I have to go?
Damned if I know.

Though I do.
So damned at my zoo?
 Damn, need to watch those words.
Whoops, how about them birds?

Yeah, on with it.
As here we sit.
I'm sitting, are you?
Bet more than a few.

Insecurity is the name.
Isn't that word lame?
Who needs it?
Hey, gives a rhyming fit.

Want it gone?
Easy with no con.
Just let it melt.
Screw the hand dealt.

Frosty is toast.
He sure can't boast.
He went down under.
Whoops, the sun did plunder.

Now he's a puddle.
Around him kiddies huddle.
He just wanted to see a kangaroo.
One that wouldn't steal his shoe.

He came, he saw, he died.
The poor kiddies cried.
The kangaroo hopped away,
All went on with their day.

Wow, that was depressing.
Is that what you're guessing?
A mythical snowman died. 
Pfft screw the depressing ride.

Melt like mythical him.
Insecurity gone on a whim.
Then a new hand can be dealt.
For you skipped folding and went with melt.

Wasn't that wise of me? Hmmm yeah, I'm a bit crazy at my sea. But there could be something in there. At least I didn't repeat the fart one at my lair. Look! I used the new badge too. I guess that means this was the first post written when that came due. Could also mean I'm a tad slow or too lazy to make the other one go. We'll go with the first one of the mass. That is much better sounding to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

An I Know It Friendly Bit!

The cat was here and there, heck the cat was anywhere, and I hear this time and time again. I'm sure you have at your den. It is not hard to spot. It seems to be a familiar plot.

You were where?
They get in your hair.
You did what?
They're right up your butt.

I've done that.
They chew the fat.
Yap on and on like they know,
When really full of crow.

You could say that,
And they'd still chew the fat.
I've eaten crow before.
They'd say it at their shore.

But then there is more,
More to the chore.
Yeah, it's a chore to listen to.
Rather go watch a mutt eat doo doo.

For these people are already full of shit.
I may as well watch a dog show it.
Then I can say I've seen that too.
Isn't that something you want to do?

These nuts would.
As well they should.
They have to have done it.
Wait! There is the other fit.

My friend has done that.
They chew more fat.
No wonder they are wide,
As they take you for a ride.

I have a friend like that.
They are where it's at.
I have a friend like that.
They aren't where it's at.

The need to agree.
A friend or me me me.
To outshine with a friend,
Why is that a trend?

A nut on the loose?
Bet they even humped a moose.
Maybe they threw in a goose,
As they talk out their caboose.

You have to know a few like that. They are everywhere with brains of scat. They have seen it and done it all. They must be immortal at their hall. Them and their friend stash. Think they even have friends after away they dash? Pfffft is all the cat can say as I ignore and go about my day. I do leave them a little gas. That is all they get though from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Don't Bank On The Blank!

Last year people went bat shit crazy because Star Bucks was hazy. Yeah, no Christmas on the side. Woweee, that is something to talk about far and wide. But the cat will join in. We don't want a repeat spin.

Look at you,
Christmas in view,
Can't say another thing.
Nope, just tunes you sing.

Forget the rest.
Christmas has to be the best.
No others holidays.
Christmas just pays.

Happy holidays is even bad,
At least to some at their pad.
Can't have that.
Not even from a rat.

Look, it's a red shirt.
With you I can't flirt.
You are wearing red and it's blank.
Go get hit by a tank.

Oh my, a red towel.
That makes me howl.
It has no Christmas pic.
You are such a dick.

Some red shoes.
Those sing the blues.
They don't even have an elf.
You should be ashamed of yourself.

A red painted house.
I curse you and your mouse.
That is sooooo wrong.
I hope you get crushed by King Kong.

Look at that red car.
My, that can take you far.
I hope it goes right into a ditch,
You Christmas hating bitch.

You have red undies.
Maybe even red fundies.
Both is such a shame.
No sex you will claim.

Red makes me see red.
Red with no Christmas bed.
You must clearly say Christmas only.
Who cares if other holidays get lonely.

Pfffffft says the cat. Wowee, only red where one is at. That is oh so bad. Let's rant about it from pad to pad. Being forced to say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas is dumb. Should be able to say what you want, chum. But whining because of the color of a cup makes the cat realize there is more brains in a pup. I better go hide after this rhyming pass because I've been sitting and now I have a red little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

The I Is Ever So Spry!

Maybe you thought I meant eye? Your eye can be spry as it gives reading a try. A confusing read from me may come to be. It could hurt the brain of thee. We used them all. Get it yet at my hall?

Here is the cat.
I am where I'm at.
That much is true.
A least true to you.

Maybe true to me.
True as can be.
Me and I and you.
We may as well go to the zoo.

I did whatever alone.
Whoops, hold the phone.
Don't you hold a phone anyway?
Not like you throw it in the bay.

Anyway, hold that thing.
Let the thing ring.
For two did it.
I wasn't the only bit.

It was a we.
We made it come to be.
But nope I used I.
Maybe me was given a try.

Me, me, me.
Look! Times three.
There was no you.
No we came due.

It was said.
Put to bed.
Now we is I.
I told a lie.

Was done by I,
But we did fly.
The we beat the I.
We are now upon high.

I was what did it.
But we took the hit.
Now we is the true.
Even if I had the only clue.

I did that in the end,
But you bucked the trend.
You got the blame.
I relinquished the claim.

Get where the cat went? Or did you gent bent? As in brain out of whack. That has to suck at your shack. Don't you love how I can become we or you or me? We can become I or you or me to be. Vice versa and flip flop. People tend to believe where the buck does stop. Or maybe they believe he or she who shouts in the loudest mass. It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Intruders Galore With The Same Encore!

So as we gave the month's notice a while back and prepared to move from our shack, which we may or may not have written about by now, intruders galore came with a raised eyebrow.

You have cats?
Asked the dingbats.
Like they didn't see us run away.
Blind as a bat I say.

But there is no smell.
Like what the hell?
Pat has OCD.
He cleans the litter after we pee.

That cat house is huge.
No shit, stooge.
Humans are dumb.
Stating the obvious and then some.

How many cats are here?
We heard that come near.
Heard it more than once.
Three times from the same dunce.

That cat house is a palace.
What is this? Reruns of Dallas?
At least it beats a remake.
Sadly, there was many a double take.

You have two cat towers?
Idiocy must come in showers.
There was two in sight.
So two took flight.

That is one big litter box.
They may or may not have got litter on their socks.
Serves them right we say.
It was the month of obvious statements at our bay.

Do the cats use it?
Nah, they squat and have a shit.
They do it anywhere it all.
Pffft and I'm a dog at my hall.

That is a mighty large house for the cats.
And back to the repeat dingbats.
Can I go take a nap?
Gotta love, not really, the repeat crap.

And what about the place?
What did they say to it's embrace?
Why that one they all repeated too.
There isn't much of a view.

Really, that is all 99.99% of them said about the place. The rest of the time they were taking about us in our space. Don't you think they'd want to know about it and not about the big litter box in which we shit? We ran away most of the time. Once I stalked them and they thought that a crime. I gave a little growl and they stayed clear, quite afraid of my rhyming rear. I like when that comes to pass. Can't beat a ruling little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, December 2, 2016

By Hook Or By Look?

The cat was out and about and then I didn't hear a shout. Nope, I didn't hear a one. At least until a look was done. Pffft is all I can say. All I wanted to do was be on my way.

Why didn't you save?
A path I did pave.
I gave you the look.
The look of the crook.

The look of the look?
Beats me at my nook.
A look can say a lot.
Each look has its own plot.

A look of despair.
Get out of my hair.
A look of, Oh Shit!
Sure isn't a hit.

A look just to look.
Looky Lous on book.
A look up and down.
Are we into yes town?

The look of shame?
Look at that claim.
Look at me.
I'm not looking at thee.

That is a shame.
A missed look claim.
A look I missed
The look turned pissed.

Then came the words.
Rather watch birds.
The look was still there,
One that said beware.

My ears may hurt.
Blood won't spurt.
But back way just in case.
Don't let them near your face.

Looks can say a lot.
My, aren't they hot?
Or maybe not.
Catch on to this plot?

Look! I have to go.
Why? Damned if I know.
It looks like something to do.
Look, it has to be done, you.

Ever get ranted at from the look? The look in which you never partook? Would that be partake? Bah, beats a germy handshake. They gave the cat a look and wanted help at their nook. An annoying person was yapping away. So instead of saying "see ya" at their bay, they gave me a look. Pffft I had to go write a new book. But they can still look at the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Time Of Year For The Cheer!

The cat is here and I'll give you a chocolate calendar to fear. Warning, may not smell well after a while. Hmm, would that be rather vile? Do you get my drift? My, you are swift.

The 1st is back,
Back on the attack.
A 1st not like another.
This first has a brother.

It's a magic day.
Pffft so they say.
Who are they?
What the hey.

We'll get there.
Time to spare.
31 days or so,
Depending on when given a go.

You could read today.
Maybe tomorrow at play.
Would that be a replay?
You may be too busy either way.

Back on the attack,
A literal one with a smack.
Steal that marked down thing,
You won't have a happy fling.

Hands will be flung.
Kids pop a lung.
Screaming, I want that.
Some plastic scat.

Trees get chopped.
Birds get dropped.
The Tabbies would like that.
Unless they showed up where they are at.

Electric companies smile,
They are cheery by a mile.
Glad for all the lights.
Take them to new heights.

Elbows are flung.
Kids pop the other lung.
Everything is packed.
You car may even get attacked.

Bad parking galore.
That can be a chore.
Round and round you go.
Where you find a spot, damned if I know.

Isn't this month so great? The holidays are first rate. All the crazies out at one time. That can even scare a mime. The cat is glad he has nowhere to go. I'd make many a foe. I might even run over a toe. Otherwise I'll leave that to Tarsier Man to stoop that low. Ready to be oh so cheery in mass? I'll watch from far away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The Need To Read?

The cat has seen another trend that is about. People need to hear others shout. Or at least read it before they ever do the shit. Not sure what I mean with my spree? You'll see!

I can't save dough.
Oh friggin no.
It is such a shame.
I need someone with fame.

101 ways to save.
100 ways to avoid a financial grave.
50 ways to save more.
101 ways to save the encore.

Wowwee, now I know.
I can save some dough.
I just can't spend.
On these gurus I sure depend.

My house is a mess.
That I will confess.
But how do I get it clean?
Isn't there advice that is so serene?

De-clutter now!
101 cleaning tips the will wow.
Tricks to a clean home.
Cleaning when in Rome.

Wowweee, now I know.
I just have to clean my show.
Clean and throw stuff away.
Now I can have a nice day.

I can't get a date.
Where is my mate?
I really need one.
How can this be done?

101 dating tips!
Dating on cruise ships.
101 more dating tips.
Dating words for your lips.

Woweee, now I know.
I just have to give it a go.
Who knew all you had to do was speak?
A mate I can now seek.

One for that and this.
Read and don't miss.
101 ways to help with anything at all.
Read away and have a ball.

Who knew I needed to read 50,000 words so that I can de-clutter? Maybe my brain had a stutter? Who knew I needed to read 50,000 more to talk to a date? Damn, I hope that advice doesn't come too late. Hmmm didn't I already know all of this? Do you need someone to tell you such bliss? Wowwweeee, if yes was answered by thee. Maybe I should make one come to be. 101 ways to get rid of that gas. It could be a huge hit for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Burn A Bridge Just A Smidge?

The cat hears it time and time again. I seem to hear a lot at my den. Maybe I just notice it. Can you notice and hear at the same time each fit? Maybe not if some spit when they talk. That can sure make you balk.

Don't burn bridges.
They may ignite ridges.
Bridges may fall down.
Like the one in London town.

Isn't that a city?
It burnt down, pity.
Wait, it's still there?
I've been lied to at my lair.

Can bridges even burn?
Maybe ones from which they don't earn.
They being the greedy sobs.
They do whatever they please.

Like covered ones made of wood.
I think that is understood.
But metal ones burn?
Wow, some heat you must churn.

Then again a rope is cheaper.
You could be a Tarzan creeper.
Dress in a loin cloth and swing.
A rope will get you across the thing.

Or just hop a boat.
One with or without a goat.
Get a motor so you don't have to row.
But then if the later your muscles may grow.

Or learn how to swim.
The sea/river/whatever may be grim,
But you'll get there with no time to spare.
You also may shrink down there.

Hey, it had to be said.
I know it popped into your head.
Just blame the pool.
That seems to be cool.

Could learn to fly.
Like in a plane in the sky.
Seems wasteful to do though.
Plus you'd need lots of dough.

Do bridges burn?
That had to return.
Maybe those imaginary ones,
They can burn by the tons.

All from a burning bridge. I guess they can burn a smidge. But metal on fire? Yeah, the burning would expire. Burn any bridges at your sea? Did the fire bug-ness give you glee? Wait, fake bridges you say? Burn any of those at your bay? Can be all fire bug with that pass. Although that is probably safer for all and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 28, 2016

A Thousand Miles Adds To The Piles!

The cat has to promote a new non rhyming book. That is so mean of Pat to do at my nook. But then he did write 75K words in 11 days with one hand. Yeah, bragging a bit in our land. This was probably one of the funniest he has ever done too as a new novel came due.


Will and Ray Stinger are two brothers that have not seen each other in over a decade. Will lives a simple life with his family and wants nothing to do with his self absorbed, reality TV star brother. But the two are brought together by the passing of their Uncle Frank who left them what could be the best gift of all, an ugly shoe pendant.

When the pendant breaks Will and Ray each take half and go their separate ways, suspecting to never see each other again. The next day all of that changes as they wake up in each other's body. Through the pendant they quickly experience life from the other's point of view. Not wanting to waste any time, they search for answers and soon learn that the only way to reverse it is to walk a thousand miles.

Will, Ray, Will's two young kids, Sarah and Oliver, and their dog, Sammy, set off across America to reverse what they believe to be a curse. And through one giant mishap, they now must do it while avoiding law enforcement, crazy Ray Stinger fans, gun toting hillbillies, Ruth and her master race and the many other colorful characters they meet along the way.

Sound interesting to you? A mix and match of two. Body swapping and a buddy road trip. Don't think anywhere that sail did ship. But who knows indeed. This idea popped in and sure wanted to take seed. So away Pat went with it. And it is more adult as one character is a douchebag and swears a bit. But that may end up less as the story does progress. I guess you will have to see what comes to pass as another non rhyming novel comes from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Placebo Along With This Song!

The cat is here to get you to agree. I know you always do with me. Pffft and I'm really a dog. Wait, I used that one at my blog. Bah, I'll use it a time or two more. Ready to agree galore?

That pill is neat.
It is so sweet.
It can cure everything.
It can even make you sing.

Took it like a fool.
It may make you drool.
But look, you are happy.
That pill may really have been snappy.

This TV show is the best.
It just beats all the rest.
How about it?
You must watch every bit.

Oh, it was crap?
Whoops, I took a nap.
But you watched and loved it.
Damn, I'm good at this shit.

That car is great.
Screw the interest rate.
It is top notch.
Buy yourself some scotch.

What? It broke down?
Don't look at me and frown.
You still think it is the best.
Was a fluke so no detest.

Oh yeah, suck back the dope.
It can even give you hope.
With each and every joint,
A new idea you will appoint.

It will cure you too.
Of everything at your zoo.
Wait! Didn't the pill do that?
Double whammy where you're at.

Whoops, it did not?
You just got brain rot?
Bah, you don't believe that.
It melted off the fat.

Now you're in the know.
So give each a go.
Search high, search low.
Gotta love a little placebo.

Are you a placebo case? Believe all with a smiley face? That may be bad for you. A sugar pill won't cure all at your zoo. And a bad car is a bad car. Who cares if some celebrity drives it far. Don't be a placebo nut or you'll just get stuck in a rut. But if you really want fortune, fame, health and love don't wish for it from above. You just have to go eat some nice green grass. Yep, you can trust, not really, my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

An Average Day Here To Stay!

What is your average at your sea? Do you have an average spree? On average everyone had an average at some point. That is average at every joint.

On average at play.
Said every day.
It's here to stay.
But it can go away.

Fall in a hole.
An average goal.
Let it take a stroll.
Bury it like a mole.

On average I'm nuts.
On average I ignore mutts.
On average I increased that.
On average things can go splat.

Get where I'm going?
On average you get my showing.
Then again I may confuse.
On average that does amuse.

On average sales were up.
They filled a tin cup.
But on average they lie,
As the on average does fly.

Store A and B and T made more,
While Store R,G,Y,U,L,O had a losing encore.
But just fudge the numbers a bit,
And on average we're a hit.

On average they are great.
To them no one can relate.
Their average is top notch.
They deserve a bottle of scotch.

Wait! Get the cheap stuff.
On average they are all fluff.
High scores in bird courses and gym.
Off average they may be dim.

Maybe off average is it?
Whoops, can fudge that shit.
On average and off,
All drink from the same trough.

On average that's how it's done.
Isn't on average fun?
The average way at play.
Aren't you glad on average is here to stay?

Maybe above average should come due? That would just screw everything up at each zoo. Above average vs. on average and maybe even off. Damn, now your brain is going to scoff. Don't worry, not much math to come due. You can fudge the numbers to make what you want true. Then just let on, off, above or even below average come to pass. That is a lot of averages even for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 25, 2016

A Month Out To The Cheery Shout!

The cheer is here, right? Hmm let's see about that at my site. I don't see it. That cheer is quite the hiding twit. Maybe it is under the bed? I guess I'll have to go and see if like me it is hiding its head.

With one month to go,
People scatter near and far.
They go blow for blow,
Over some fancy toy car.

Giving cheer and seasons greetings.
Yeah, and all that other crap.
Got to get to those year end meetings.
Have to bilk each silly shopping sap.

With one month to go,
You have to find a lap.
That lap gives a ho ho ho,
Sucking you into its trap.

After standing for a while,
You finally get a meet and greet.
Rushed out in single file,
Wasn't that lap oh so neat?

With one month to go,
The lists have to be made.
Time to give another blow,
And go on some type of tirade.

That offends me in every way.
That should never be said.
Look at that puny light display.
What was going through their head?

With one month to go,
Family is ready to come a calling.
You may need to get the back hoe,
Cousin Eddie is rather appalling.

But they gather around,
Many there for a free lunch.
Some you aren't sure where they are found,
Others you may want to punch. 

With one month to go,
Cheer seemed to have been hidden.
Maybe after going blow for blow,
It went somewhere where blows are forbidden.

Can't be Bill Clinton's bedroom.
So that is one place down.
What? Can't be all gloom.
I know that didn't cause a frown.

Maybe cheer is off in Bora Bora? There it can whora whora. At least according to Blue. Not sure I believe that to be true. Silly shopping sap is fun to say. Can you say it three times fast at your bay? Got the cheer at your sea? Are you a stomping shopper with glee? Online is easier and more cheery, although sometimes what they send you can be eerie. We'll have to go and give cheer some sass. It can't go to Bora Bora or hide under the bed with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.  

Thursday, November 24, 2016

A Thankful Day So We'll Play!


Our thankful day is through, been there done that at my zoo. I'm thankful for it too. Then we don't have to go anywhere with mutts in view. But I'll play with the American thankful day.

I'm thankful for nuts,
Even some mutts.
They may sniff butts,
But they give me rhyme ruts.

I'm thankful for search engine crazies.
They may be better off pushing up daises,
But plenty of material is had.
As they find my rhyming pad.

I'm thankful for haters,
Watching as they trip into craters.
There they sit all hateful and such,
Not bothering me even a touch.

I'm thankful for Wal-Mart.
Cracks may show that come with a fart,
But material there is grand.
Like the reverse of Disney Land.

I'm thankful for the scary daters.
They are some weird maters.
But their lines turn out grand,
To use here in my land.

I'm thankful for the Internet.
It does let me be a rhyming pet,
But it also can tell me everything I want to know.
Like how aliens ate poor Elvis after a show.

I'm thankful for snow.
I may want it to go,
But I have something to whine about.
Look! It's snowing out.

I'm thankful for the dumb.
They are such a cheery chum.
They can do so much as one,
That out of material I'll never run.

I'm thankful for the sheep.
They never try and leap.
They just watch as I learn.
Never needing nothing in return.

I'm really thankful for all of the above,
Though I give them no love.
They prove a cat is far more wise.
Boy, how when being thankful time flies.

Isn't that all something to be thankful for? Did I do it right at my shore? You humans provide so much material to me that I have to be thankful to thee. At least I can pretend to be. Then leave a flea on your knee. I think my thankfulness is about to pass. Yep, I'm back to being a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

The Best Back With Some Flack!

The cat heard this again the other day, so we'll take it another way. The best idea ever it was indeed, but whoops, they forgot at their feed.

Have ideas done.
Done by the ton.
Or done by the little.
Oops, brain is brittle?

In one ear, out the other?
I've done that to my mother.
Shhhh, don't tell.
Maybe some need a bell?

It gives a ding.
Save the idea to cha-ching.
Or like an STD from a fling.
Hey, it's saved on something.

But I guess not.
Can't remember the plot.
Out the window it went.
And then they get bent.

It was forgotten by me.
Blah blah blah, pitiful me spree.
You've heard the rest.
In the end it was the BEST!

Err ummm not.
Sorry, screwed by brain rot.
Not the best if never done.
Easy to say when you never won.

I won 1st in every Olympic event.
At least I would have if I left the beer tent.
See? I can do it as well at my lair.
Damn, my logic just screwed you there.

What you have may not be grand,
But it is still the best at your land.
At least for the moment from you,
Until something more comes due.

Subjective is best.
We've done that test.
But still if one tops the rest,
Then it is your best.

Not that best thought,
That you let out to rot.
Hey, I want to do it once more.
I'd win the lottery if I played at my shore.

I could go on all day with such examples at play. Heard this one before? I'm sure you have at your shore. Maybe even said it a time or two. But it is only the best if it is actually the best and comes due. Otherwise the same thing as gas. It fades eventually when it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Round Fifty Two Brings Us Back To You!

The search engine nuts still come and go. Not as many as in the past at my show. But being far ahead I can save some up indeed. These saves are more of you that took seed.

Redneck willies

I think she goes for pimples at her sea, but she may like a willy spree.

Betsy Boo Boo Booping

I'd say a numb tongue is a boo boo. At least only once it came due due.

Blue guy poo

Famous for shit. Now that's a hit.

Blue with carrots

Need to improve eye sight? Blue wants to see in the night.

Jax vs Liu Kang

Liu Kang wins. Jax is all sins.

Betty on my rump

Don't be so hard on them, Betty. No need to get petty.

Al gets laid

I'm sure he is happy with that there where he is at.

Marg's animal feed

Wow, Marg has her own feed line? That wasn't known by this feline.

Alex with ninja prada 

Hmmmm, ninja wannabe getting frisky? That may take a lot of whiskey.

Adam said he knew

Knew what? That you don't make the cut?

Worms in my bottom

Manzi, that may be for you. Could be for Terry too.

Bijox the savoir 

Spelled it wrong. But hey, maybe she'll get her own song.

Suza bit me

Suza, you are mean. Biting is so unclean.

Hank's #1 in pages

Page of what? He sure got many at my hut.

And now for the winner. They may be considered a sinner. That or are just way out to lunch. That they are a whole bunch. Probably be considered both though considering what's about to show. Do you see a pattern to my slant? Consider it like a worker ant.

between margaret, mary, fern and greg for bait

Hmmm which Mary is going to be bait? What is the bait for at their open gate? Do we really want to know? Could be quite the show. Maybe Greg will come and tell us all. I hope not at my hall. This has been another strange pass of those that find my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Don't Waste Space In Your Place!

The cat will show you how not to waste space today. No need to be a hoarder at your bay, but you can still save space. Or use it up at a steady pace.


 Give an evil glare,
Or maybe just a stare.
Even with space,
No one else will embrace.


 Make room for two.
A third can't come due.
 Three's a crowd, right?
Pat can sleep on the floor that night.


Stare at the space.
It is your embrace.
With that stare,
It is yours even if you aren't there.


Take the bottom and top.
That will make any space stealing stop. 
You can watch both ends.
Was that gutter? Depends.


Or just hog it all.
Easy as can be at your hall.
No room for any other.
If they try, proceed to smother.


See? Easy as can be.
I told thee.
Even if it is small.
A little overflow is all.


Cassie is a hog.
Two cushions like a spoiled dog.
Don't tell her I said that.
But then take up the extra space like the cat.


Bottom and top watch once more.
A little different though at our shore.
Here we get a two for one.
Isn't space saving fun?


Climb up top.
Then it won't flop.
You'll have an eye on everything.
Any space stealing you can fling.


Or just hog the whole floor.
Good to have back up at your shore.
Have a paw stretched out too.
No one will steal space from you. 

Did you learn a thing or three? Aren't I nice at my sea? I showed you how to save space. Hmmm was that a different type of saving embrace? Hey, I need to save a place to sit when ever I want it. Can't have Pat stealing that shit. I already have to save some from hoggy Cass. She sure tries to push away my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.