Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Condo Or House? Rat Or Mouse?

The cat was having fun and arguing under our sun. Arguing with myself mostly. Hey, at least it was nothing ghostly. That would just scare. I don't need any ghosts at my lair.

Condo or House?
Rat or Mouse?
Mary Kirkland would pick both.
One just has more growth.

Solved the second one.
Wow, that was a fast run.
Now on to number one.
Which is more fun?

A house is fine.
Bigger and divine.
Bigger bills though.
And property taxes show.

More needed to fill.
Giving you another bill.
It can break and need fixing.
More money your bank account is nixing.

Have a lawn to mow.
Have to shovel crummy snow.
Upkeep by the ton.
But then you don't have to deal with everyone.

Condo you are off the ground.
No property taxes are found.
But condo fees pile up.
And you fill another's cup.

Still have to pay bills.
So have to open the tills.
Or rather the wallet.
Whatever you want to call it.

But can do nothing at all.
Just pay up at your hall.
No work to do.
Except when the condo association screws you.

The roof is busted.
It has rusted.
Everyone will pay for it.
We aren't paying that shit.

Apartment is easier to get out of.
Can move as simple as slapping on a glove.
House you have more room.
Condo you kinda own it and have no yard work doom.

Which is the best do you think? All depends where you are in life at your rink? Suppose what you want too. Condos seem like such a rip off at ones zoo. I think I'd take an apartment over those. Can leave an apartment no matter if it is busted or smells like a rose. Condo you still have to sell. A house can cost a ton for that door bell. Then I could go eat some green grass. I guess I never cleared much up with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 30, 2016

A Never Should In Childhood!

Pat scolds the cat for doing this and that where we are at, but it turns out he was dumber than me. Hey, he still may be. Want the cat to prove it? Easy as can be with this rhyming bit.

Kids do much,
Kids will touch.
More than that and this,
Thinking all is bliss.

Pat sure did.
Now his ocd my flip its lid.
But still got it in,
With the childhood spin.

Touched an electric fence,
Yep he was dense,
To see how much it hurt.
No blood did spurt.

Did it multiple times too.
Why? Beats me at my zoo.
Had an electric fence in the yard,
So it wasn't very hard.

Playing in quick sand.
Yep, thought it was grand.
Stand and see how far one could sink.
Now that would bring me to the brink.

There was a tree branch overhead though.
Grabbed it and out he'd go.
Hey, it was always a bet who would get out first.
Yeah now, his ocd would burst.

Crawled under a cow.
Would never do that now.
Could get kicked in the head.
So surprised Pat isn't dead.

Stuffed his brother in the dryer,
If only he could have reached higher.
He would have went for a spin.
Hmm, may have done him in.

Fought with barbed wire too.
The barbed wire won at his zoo.
Has a third eye on his leg after that.
The scar looks like it where it is at.

Sat on a hot wood stove as well.
It could get hot as hell.
Wanted to see how long he could last.
Burnt his ass once as he didn't move too fast.

Do anything dumb in childhood at your sea? Pat sure can't scold me. The cat may try to eat tacks and string, but no quicksand jumping or some other thing. I enjoy ratting on him in mass. It works for my tattle tale little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Don't Play Dumb, Share Your Blog's Income!

The cat saw this on a list the other day. Things one should tell at their bay. Yep, Blog Income was on such a list. Wait? Is there something I missed?

Blog income for all.
How much at your hall?
Come and tell me the income.
Can it buy some chewing gum?

The cat finds that icky.
It can get rather sticky.
Like a spring fling?
Hmm, could make an income spring.

Sell yourself.
Or a magic elf.
Santa may get merry.
Okay, this is scary.

No income from that.
Maybe sell the fur of the cat?
I could help bald people out.
Then George won't shout.

That go over one's head?
With hair might catch what is said.
Can hair catch words?
Bah, tell it to the birds.

Another bust.
Bald people you can't trust.
They shine you in the eyes,
Making you think they are wise.

What was that?
Income we're we are at?
Will I be your hero,
If I said a big fat zero?

I fat shamed zero today.
Do you think it will sue my bay?
It isn't a number anyway.
Or so some say.

Blog = income?
Wow, and then some.
My rhymes can make a buck?
Yeah, if I back up the truck.

Look at the ads everywhere.
Stop, sit and stare.
Click on each one too.
Whoopsy, no ads in view.

Do you make blog income at your sea? Ready to listen to such a nut and tell how much to me? Pfft who says that? Maybe if you have zero, zip, nadda, zilch like the cat. Then who really cares. Hey, at least I got my TMI shares. I can still pull them out of the grass. There is plenty to share about my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

The Best Yet You Can Bet!

The cat has the best post ever ready to go. What? You don't believe me at my show? Hey, everybody else says it. Like those companies that have an endless money pit.

The best iPhone yet.
It is a safe bet.
Come and upgrade now.
Until the next one will wow.

It's our best season.
It's the best for a reason.
Why upped the ante this year.
It has so much more fear.

It's the best sequel ever.
My we are so clever.
Police Academy 8 it is.
Don't you love show biz?

It's the best remake.
Hmm, I give a head shake.
Remake and best?
Yeah, those two words don't pass any test.

The best operating system yet.
Ugg says this pet.
Are we there yet?
Has the best been met?

The best car ever.
We added a new lever.
Damn, so impressive to me.
Can I pull the lever and get rid of thee?

The best book.
Yep, give it a look.
Written by washed up celebrity A.
Have a nice day.

The best restaurant anywhere.
Come and drool and stare.
Can you do all three?
Be the best like me.

The best....who cares.
Like splitting hairs.
Or is that heirs at my sea?
Beats the heck out of me.

The best iPhone yet.
It is a safe bet.
Come and upgrade now.
This one will really wow.

What else are they going to say? This phone, car, season, sequel, book is crap compared to the others at play? Can watch any press release or PR and it is all the same. Substitute the next upgrade or sequel or whatever's name. Poof! You got the same thing. Ever notice that familiar "best yet" ring? The cat sees all that comes to pass. You can't get by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 27, 2016

A Shoe For Me And You!

The cat doesn't wear the things. My feet don't need them as I have springs. If you stuck them on me I'd eat the laces though. Yeah, Pat has to hide any shoes at our show. Then he does wear them all day long. So I can eat them if he doesn't notice before long.

The Shoe Viewer is here.
They always like to cheer.
Not for their owns shoes,
Those are just old news.

Nope, they look at your feet.
They look like you have a treat.
The shoes are the best.
Forget the rest.

Could walk in your underwear.
They just don't care.
The shoes come first.
They have a shoe fetish thirst.

Maybe they drink out of a shoe.
That is something one could do.
It might be smelly though.
A cat can pee in them just so you know.

Nah, it wasn't me.
One did it at the other sea.
It's in that adult book.
Okay, back to it at my nook.

You could be holey.
Maybe dressed like a goalie.
Could be dressed as a clown,
Carrying a great big frown.

They don't care about it.
Not one little bit.
They want it known,
That shoes are never alone.

Look at your shoes.
They sure can't lose.
They are the best.
They pass every test.

Your shoes are dirty.
I'm not being flirty.
They are just bad.
You need some new ones at your pad.

The Shoe Viewer is near,
Run away in fear.
Take those running shoes and go.
Think they get a neck cramp from always looking low?

Every time some nut comes near Pat she always says the same thing wherever we are at. Same damn shoes too. But oh, those shoes are so blue. Pffft who cares what is on ones feet? Unless they are barefoot with zombie toes as they walk the street. Are you a Shoe Viewer with your neck craned down? Do you watch shoes all over town? I know some collect shoes in mass but no need to look at any on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Pop A Pill And Avoid The Repair Bill!

The cat sees it all the time, humans going about their pill popping chime. Look, my blood work is great, after taking a pill to inflate. Pfffft riiiight! Go off the pill and it will change over night. Nothing but a fool fooling him or herself, being lazy and ignoring the route cause at ones shelf.

Let's fix the car.
It can't go far.
But screw the bill,
Just give it a pill.

Look it still...is broken.
Damn, I want back my Mario token.
That is worth a lot.
Could give me a power up when caught.

Let's repair the house.
We have to get out the mouse.
Or would that be mice.
Trap and release to be nice.

Give the house a pill.
It will really get a thrill.
Just flush it down the loo,
And all will be shiny new.

Look it is...still rundown and mice filled.
I am less than thrilled.
My house should be fixed.
All that is wrong should be nixed.

I'll fix society with ease.
I can give them all brain freeze.
Come here and take my pill.
It will cure anything that makes you ill.

It...worked!
Up everything perked.
The mindless zombies flow.
Fluoride heads on the go.

Whoops, that's another thing.
Shhh, don't tell I gave that a ring.
Just suck back that pill,
It will cure what makes you ill.

You will lose weight.
Your ego will inflate.
You'll be fine as can be.
Just pop a pill you see.

Take care of the maintenance on your car,
Take care of it on everything near and far,
But don't take care of yourself.
Take the pill and trust the magic little white robed elf.

Humans are so backwards it isn't funny. They take the time and spend the money, going to fix up cars, houses and this and that. But meh to themselves, do what we want and pop a pill for the fat. Now some do need pills and such, but many use them as a crutch. Instead of getting off their ass, they let a pill save them in mass. So is the current social class. They get no sympathy from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

You Can Do It Has A Fit!


Wow, the cat just has to say you humans have high hopes at your bay. I've heard the saying a time or ten and now I'll get to it at my den. You tell each other that you can do anything. You change up the ending like a fling.

You can do anything,
Is the first part.
Then mind has a fling,
Or sometimes it's heart.

There is also a to.
But that you know.
As it's been used by you.
With some cheery glow.

So anything I can do?
Wow, that is so great.
Let's see if this is true.
I'll take the bait.

I can fly!
Err umm kersplat.
I didn't die,
Just one life gone from the cat.

I can win the lottery!
Umm err you lose.
Why not take up pottery?
Pfft go away before I abuse.

I can jump to the moon.
Umm err I'm still here.
Damn, where's that spoon.
It will bring magic near.

I can cure cancer.
Umm err that special water didn't work.
Never should have trusted Prancer.
Crummy reindeer jerk.

I can wish things away.
Umm err they are still here.
My shit is still on display.
Pat still has to scoop for my rhyming rear.

I can drink acid and survive.
Umm err I'm dead.
What's that? Life five?
I need to go to bed.

I can say stuff it.
Yep, stuff the saying.
It's wrong every bit.
It gets no replaying.

That cat just proved you humans wrong. Maybe you need to add realistically instead of anything to your saying song? But is that too much of a mouthful for you? You can realistically do anything at your zoo. Was that so hard? Not like you had to mow a big yard. I will now go pass some realistic gas out my realistic little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

An Extra Treat For A Cheat!

The cat will admit to one and all that I've cheated a time or two at my hall. Raise your hand if you are with me? What? Not a one I can see. Maybe that's because I'm not there at each and every lair. Bah, maybe not. We all cheat a lot.

Rules are great,
Rules are grand.
Take the bait,
Raise your hand.

Follow and bend,
Or bend and scoop.
They are a fine trend.
Bah, rules are poop.

Some are good.
Some are needed.
Break some you should.
Yep, that I've deeded.

But that we've done.
That we've said.
Time for fun,
Cheat to be fed.

Money on the road.
You found it today.
When in tax mode,
Whoops, it was hay.

A glance to the left,
A glance to the right.
Hey, it's not theft,
If a test answer was in sight.

Cards held out.
Cards help up.
I won't shout,
And fill my cup.

A race to home.
A race to work.
Short cut to roam,
Who'd want the work perk?

The a to z,
One big mass.
Get ahead like me,
Challenge can pass.

A little extra nudge.
A little extra seat.
With a sly smudge,
Can't beat the cheat.

Raised your hand yet? That is a safe bet. Everyone has cheated in some way. Unless one is a real goody two shoes at their bay. Nothing big like a fling in spring, but there is always a little thing. Yeah, a time or two the cat cheated in class. Don't go telling on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Into Hell We Shall Dwell!

The cat hears this one a lot. Many think it hot to trot. Or would that be trot to hot? Maybe neither if you don't get caught. So sit for a spell or run like hell.

There is many types,
They give me gripes.
Who wants to run?
The cat doesn't find that fun.

You can run.
Run for fun.
You can jog,
Even with a dog.

I'd rather walk,
With no rock in my sock.
But who cares about that.
I'm beating around the bush where we're at.

Yeah, that one is strange too.
Who beats around a bush at their zoo?
Don't even need to go gutter.
Run like hell if that sets you aflutter.

Run like hell!
An easy sell.
Been used everywhere.
Even at my lair.

But can a place run?
Damn, that would be interesting by a ton.
Hell can run fast or slow?
Damned if I know.

Maybe run like hell is bad.
It means no running is had.
Hell can't run and neither can you.
Deal with it at your zoo.

Hell could be hot on your heels,
Literally as up your leg it feels.
Still can't run like it though.
For there is no running to and fro.

Raise a little hell.
Whoops, rang the wrong bell.
Is that like a volcano though?
You raise a little bit from down below?

And of course this assumes it's real,
Which it is most likely a fake deal.
So you are running like a place that may not exist.
Doesn't that just leave you pissed?

Do you run like hell? Can you stop and tell? The cat wonders how you run like it. That has to be some serious running shit. You can run like a, most likely, mythical place. Is it quite the pace? Some sort of going nowhere race? I could go on all day with this embrace. I guess I'll raise a little hell later on with my sass. I'm done doing it today with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Eyeing You Up Like A Butt To A Pup!

That was quite the comparison there but I know you don't care at your lair. No but to the butts especially from mutts. Anyway, get your eyes ready as the rhyme comes steady.

The path I pave,
Is something you have.
This fun has been done,
But for a while it was gone.

Can it bring you dough?
Maybe if money you can cough.
That would be grand in your hood.
Money coming up like food.

Do you want it coming up again?
Money might taste plain.
Could you do it every hour?
That would be quite the tour.

It would be a strange brew.
Might be hard to sew.
But can beat the heat.
That has to be great.

Just don't yell at the cook.
Then you'd be a mook.
Might end up in a tomb.
Don't forget a comb.

Hey, spittle could sink lower.
So enjoy the money tower.
Throw a dog a bone.
Could be the one.

Watch him run to and fro.
At least it's something to do.
No need for a magic wand.
Isn't that just grand?

He may chew a doll,
Or pay your toll.
Please you he shall.
Unless you trip and fall.

Then you may get a wart,
Or smell a stinky fart.
That may get a swear word.
After a pull of the rip cord.

Give him a cork.
Not sure it would work.
But he is your ward.
Send the mutt a nice card.

Did you catch on to me? Have your eyes adjusted to my sea? From spitting up money to a mutt that sniffs butts when sunny. The cat just went with it. Are you still thinking something like, what the shit? Eye rhymes can cause sass, but every once in a while they have to be done by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

A Date To Aggravate!

The cat figured he would aggravate a few today at his zoo. I mean it is so much fun. It has to be done. Don't I do that anyway? Bah, so it is just like any other day.

There is an escalation,
When dealing with aggravation.
Throw in some agitation,
And you've got the right calibration.

A Brady Bunch theme activation,
Can bring the aggravation.
Even long after cancellation,
It can be a brain infiltration.

A constant tapping dedication,
Will cause some aggravation.
Especially if one is in hibernation,
Or studying for higher education.

Some type of emulation,
Could take some figuration,
But when done with the formulation,
You could be a repeat aggravation.

Talking during meditation,
Will get you yelled at by the federation.
The federation for meditation.
Is there such an aggravation?

Upping the population,
With babies stopping relaxation,
Wailing due to separation,
Can bring about an aggravation.

Especially in aviation,
Which isn't a revelation.
Flying is always an aggravation,
As is public transportation.

Anything with sanitation,
Can cause a situation.
An unsanitary aggravation,
Will surely need ventilation.

The need for relocation,
Can become an aggravation.
The moving and navigation,
Can be quite the embarkation.

So ends my aggravation,
With a simple proclamation,
The cat will aggravate each generation,
Never to be stopped by legislation.

Anything that aggravates you? Did I hit a few? Do you want to sing the Brady Bunch tune? Could have it in your head from night to noon. It's like the song that never ends. Screaming babies drive you around bends? The cat would give them sass. Maybe a swat too from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.    

Friday, May 20, 2016

Today We Loom In The Bedroom!

The cat was arguing the other day, having fun with it at my bay, that electronics should be kept out of the bedroom. I guess we just live in a mushroom. Or the cat is as weird as can be. But the later you knew from me.

Can't have that.
Need every stat.
Need to be involved with all.
Can't have it in the hall.

That is insane.
Go jump a train.
I may have a pain.
Facebook comments need to rain.

What if the world goes boom?
I have to know about that doom.
I need a 70 inch TV to see it.
I want to be able to view every bit.

I might get bored too.
Why not a console in view?
Let's have 2 or 3.
But I don't want to get up to play Wii.

We can lie in bed.
Rest our head,
With a phone stuck to it.
Only move when we need to shit.

Makes everything easy,
It is ever so pleasy.
Open a window to make it breezy.
Can even watch things deemed sleazy.

Forget about sleeping, talking or sex.
Nope, look at those TV specs.
They are just right.
I can watch it all night.

Oh, my phone rang.
They want to hang.
I can't do that.
This is where it's at.

Texting is best.
No need to be a guest.
Digital is the way.
Can lie there all day.

So don't be crazy.
I'm not lazy.
With my 70 inch TV and phone,
I'll never be in the bedroom alone.

Have electronics up the ying yang in your place? The cat makes it an electronic free space. I can walk ten feet into the other room. Getting up won't bring me doom. I suppose there is a fan and a clock though. Does that count at my show? To each their own with such a pass, but we'll keep it electronic free for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

And We're Back At Our Shack!

The cat bit Pat. He needed to get us another book, stat. It worked out too. For now we have another book with Cassie and I come due. Added another to the pile as well. Like 58 kids book wise now that has fell.

Cassie and The Wild Cat,
Were chewing the fat.
I mean napping at their sea.
When they heard something whiny.

The Wild Cat ran away.
He was a chicken that day.
It was a hair puller in their home.
That thing had to roam.

So they took her away.
She just wanted to play.
Cassie would have none of that.
Neither would The Wild Cat.

From a Handy Dalmatian,
Back from a vacation,
To a superhero with buns,
In which she had tons,

They tried to make her stay.
They wanted her to go away.
Even meeting a goat in a boat.
Will any land get the kid's vote?












Cassie and The Wild Cat are always fun to do. This one I mixed in places from 6 other books too. Can do that when you own them all. No copyright crap at my hall. So many books get to come into play all from Cassie and I trying to get a hair puller out of our bay. Thankfully no real one has come to pass. That would really annoy my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

No Like With This Hike?

Seems some people think Cassie does not like me. That just is not true at our sea. You don't believe the cat? I can prove it where we are at. Just you wait and see. She sure likes little old me.


Look at that stare.
She doesn't care.
Or does she?
Wait and see.


Look! She copies me.
That is a form of flattery.
So you humans say.
 Stretching out at our bay.


She can pin her ears like me.
 Copying again at our sea.
A bit blurry though.
So may not be good proof to give a go.


Do you see her sitting there?
Of course you do as you stare.
Do you think she is all alone?
Well then just hold the phone.


She is with me.
She likes the cat tree,
But she's still with me.
 Can you really see?


My tongue is just like that.
I never stuck it out at that cat.
Nope, not little old me.
She still likes my tongue and bat ears spree.


Well maybe this tongue is true.
But I'm out of her view.
She can't see me.
That is a fine way to be.


No, I never smacked her ass.
I wouldn't do that to Cass.
You can't prove it.
Not one little bit.


Is that a neck chew?
Bah, don't believe what's in view.
It is just a lick.
Nope, it's not a trick.


A lick like that.
From the cat. 
She must like me.
In a small dose spree.

Did I prove it to you now? Cassie may have a bit of a cow, but she still likes me. Hmm, am I protesting too much at my sea? Maybe it was that extra whack to her ass. Bah, that's forgiven by Cass. She already gave me sass. I'm just a likable little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Round Forty Six Gets In Some Licks!

The cat has a few more nuts at play as they somehow found my bay. I guess they like little old me. Hmmm, that may be bad as I attract the creepy at my sea.

myzooyap

So you make animals sounds as you yap? Trying to have a mate fall for your trap?

stir up shit sit back and watch it stink cartoon

There is a cartoon on that? Ewww says the cat.

suck my egg

No thank you. That would be more eww.

words that ryhme with "fun will be had"

Done with you lad. Run from my pad.

caught wearing a diaper

Well that won't thrill. May make one feel ill.

pat hatt cowboy

I was in the old west? Was I the best?

my line broken

So is your grammar. Do you have a stammer?

have a cat in  cat

That is neat like a treat that is neat in a treat.

a boat with a goat on the boat

Copy cat. Err umm copy dog where you are at.

vagina purring

Err ummm okay, purr away.

great big boobies

Satisfy your eight year old self? No? Damn you found my shelf.

timeofmylife

Do I look like Green Day? Nope, so take your life away.

giant litterbox poo

Did a dog use it? I don't need to know this shit.

just in time to see me fly

And crash. Hopefully you fell in soft trash.

And the winner of round forty six sure sticks to the licks. Did you guess it by my title used above? Yep, licks they seem to love.

Tongue caught in the middle of wife

Who types this crap? That is one poor chap. Can it even get stuck? Wait, pass the buck. I don't want to know. That will just bring more nuts to my show. So don't go getting your tongue stuck in a lass, and if you do, don't search out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Down Memory Lane With Your Brain!

The cat will work your brain today. I am going to make thoughts pop in at your bay. I wonder what will pop? Will they pop non stop? Is this a Pringle ad? Nah, but the cans make good cat waste holders at any pad.

Be prepared today.
Your brain will play.
It will take you back.
Don't have a heart attack.

The last time you stubbed your toe.
Was it a lethal blow?
When did you last sing?
Did wildlife around you it bring?

What about your last travel?
Did it completely unravel?
The last time you spit something out.
Do you remember what it was about?

The last time you played a game?
I hope that it wasn't lame.
The last show you saw?
Easy one from my rhyming paw.

The last time you walked to work?
Is work and walking a perk?
The last time you took a bus?
Those things really make me fuss.

The last time you almost died?
Had some close calls with the tide.
The last time germs got you?
I hope nothing nasty came due.

The last time you got caught in the rain?
Is your brain facing pain?
The last time I confused you?
Yeah, yesterday at my zoo.

The last time you fell?
Down the stairs can be hell.
The last time you spoke?
Hey, could be a mute bloke.

The last time you got a gift?
Did your spirits lift?
The last time you had gas?
Hmmm, yeah take a pass.

The last time you stepped in something?
Was it something fit for a king?
The last time anyone asked you this?
Did your brain just hiss?

The cat wants to keep you all spry. I have to keep memories in the mind's eye. Is there such an eye? Beats me, used it on the fly. Any good memories come back? Any you wish to toss at your shack? The cat will bring back good and bad. A fun rhyme is just had. Now I will go bug Cass. I have to give her memories of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

An Adventure Spree Just For Thee!

Why are you sitting there? You shouldn't be reading my lair. You should be out there jumping from upon high. But don't blame me if you die. What was that? Follow the cat.

You can't sit.
Not one bit.
Who cares about clothes.
Smell like where the cat goes.

Nothing matters.
Not food on platters.
Nope, not one thing.
Not even a fling.

You have to jump.
You have to hump.
You have to fly.
You have to try.

You can't sit.
I said that bit.
I'm such a twit.
Follow my fit?

Be adventurous at your sea.
Every day have such a spree.
Pffft no need for money.
Screw watching things that are funny.

Run with the cows.
Raise some eyebrows.
Fight with a snake.
Beat it with a rake.

Not just one day.
Every day it should be at play.
Adventure has to come.
Don't sit and be numb.

Jump from a bridge.
Climb a huge ridge.
Rob a bank.
Drive a tank.

Speed down the road,
In 225 mph mode.
Sail around the Earth.
Prove your worth.

Walk in the desert sands.
Be a mime and do hand stands.
Let the adventure flow,
Every single day at your show.

Pfffft adventure nuts can keep that. No need for me to smell like scat. Do you need adventure so big every single day? Know any like that at your bay? I know one or two and frankly, they have the brains of what I leave in the loo. I'll stay home with the singing bass. No need to be a daily adventurous little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

A Straight Cart Taken To Heart!

The cat was out and about and I made it out of the grocery store without a shout. But that was too good to be true. A nut still found me at my zoo. Seems to be the way each and every day.

Threw things in the car,
Didn't have to go far.
But had to use a cart.
Used my sleeves to touch the nasty part.

Those huge gallon jars of water aren't light.
Need the germy cart at my site.
That and 50 pounds of kitty litter,
Carrying those would make me bitter.

Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, I caught ones eye.
A cranky old fart.
Who loved a straight cart.

I shoved mine in,
Off I was ready to spin.
It was in there,
With room to spare.

But nope, that was wrong,
As she said her song.
It shouldn't go in like that.
Nope, not where she is at.

She straightened it for all.
Straightened the shopping cart stall.
Made their job easier she said.
I just shrugged and nodded my head.

Then I was so bad.
I made her mad.
I didn't straighten mine.
It did not align.

Oh no, the world is over.
Call a butt sniffing rover.
The carts weren't straight.
Not even my OCD can relate.

I just drove away,
As she had her say.
Yep, told all of my crooked cart,
That I didn't take to heart.

Wasted her time,
With a chime,
To whoever would hear.
Maybe she has a crooked cart fear?

Ever get nuts like that? Do you put them in all nice and neat where you shop at? Pfffft if there is space they get shoved in. If no space, I shove them together in the shopping cart bin. Easy as can be. Cranky old people can bite me. And there was some shopping cart sass. I guess you never know what shall come from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 13, 2016

You Are Screwed, Dude!

Or dudette as well. Blogger doesn't think dudette is swell. Says it is not a word. Pfft that is just absurd. What is it we are going on about today? Why it is such a awful day at every bay.

Jason is out.
Scream and shout.
Have sex too.
Then he'll stab you.

What? That's fake?
You mean I can partake?
A spring fling for me?
That may get a yippeee.

If I wasn't snip snip.
Have you got a grip?
Nope, not a one?
Let's have some fun.

I stuck a pin in a doll.
That screwed up you all.
I stomped on it too.
That pain was from my zoo.

I wrote 666 on your forehead.
Made you look at what I said.
It is invisible ink though.
I sent magic elves to your show.

They crept on in,
After doing my voodoo pin.
Pinned 666 to your ass.
Wait? What came to pass?

Was that luck?
Back up the truck.
Luck is a figment in your mind.
Sorry to burst your bubble, mankind.

As is everything I said.
No voodoo dolls will make you dead.
No 666 will do a thing to you.
Even if you have to add them at your zoo.

Oh no! That's math.
666 will suffer wrath.
And luck is full of shit,
But we've done that bit.

So as to the day,
With a 13 on display.
Wowweee I say.
And Pffft as I bury such nonsense in my litter tray.

It had to be touched upon once more as I heard nuts scream about it at my shore. Believe the day is bad there at your pad? Nah, I didn't think so. A number or day is not a scary show. No more likely to do a damn thing then a movie psycho in a mask. Look, you didn't even have to ask. The cat let you know it was all crap in mass. I'm just a helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

A Riddle Me That And This To Make Some Hiss!

The cat will make you all think today as I go on a rhyming riddle display. Did you know riddles can rhyme? They can when the cat gives them a chime.

This one is easy,
I should be breezy.
I'll give you some glories.
What building has the most stories?

This one can thrill,
Your pocket it can fill.
Is an older one hundred dollar bill,
Worth more than a newer one from a till?

This one can be done on Mars.
Railroad crossing without any cars.
Can you spell that without any Rs?
Don't ask drunks at bars.

So on to math.
I know it may get wrath.
How do you make number one disappear,
By adding to it, dear?

You want to go to sleep?
Okay, but before you dream deep,
During what month do people sleep the least?
Hint: it has a nasty stinky beast.

Let's give a cheer,
From month to year.
How many seconds are in a year?
You can answer without fear.

This one is easy.
It may also be cheesy.
What is between Heaven and Earth?
Did you find something of worth?

You just lost your friend.
You search to the world's end.
You finally find them in view.
What's the first thing you do?

Did you get the one about heaven?
Now we'll go with seven.
How do you make seven even?
No don't go leavin.

If ten men took ten hours to build a wall,
Finishing it all,
How long would five men take to finish the same wall?
Back to math at my hall.

There you are. Get them all at my sand bar? Did I make your brain explode? Hey, have to keep you in thinking mode. Good for the brain. No need to thank me for your brain pain. I am done with riddles in mass. I am just a riddle me this little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

8 Months In The Making With Some Title Shaking!

About 8 months ago the cat looked through his feed. Many a post title sure took seed. Can you see yours  there? Do you even remember at your lair?

Pancake Art
Goes with a sparkly fart?
When Facebook and Blogger Collide.
I will run away and hide.

First Date
Too early for a mate?
Monday Meandering meanders,
Hope there was no fight with sanders.

Death of a Foe
By a stubbed toe?
RiffTrax, October Movie Preview, Alien Movie Trivia, Battle of the Banned, Ninja News, and New Releases!
Aren't you glad this mouthy title ceases?

Getting Reviews
One pain in the butt to light fuse.
San Francisco Proper
Don't get caught by a copper?

Shaken Doggie Syndrome gets shaken,
Pukes up more than bacon.
Hook, Line & Sinker…Or Something Like That
Old, One Eye & Stairs...Says the cat.

Fact of the Day: Twin Difference
Is it cheating if I use indifference?
Redneck Red Carpet Recap
Hope the carpet doesn't come with the clap.

Clematis Monday
Damn, sounds like a std was at play.
Wall-Banger
At least you were a clanger.

It’s Too Bleepin’ Crowded in Here!
Damn, orgies coming near?
#Ad Understanding and Managing Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (FLUTD) #PurinaPartner
That is better than art, grrrr?

List: How to act like a hipster.
Become a double dipster.
Flower's Cage Set Up
All in view of the pup.

Roof Top Security
With a pee impurity.
It's Monday...Again
Nope, Wednesday at my den.

Can you guess who is who? The mouthy ninja wannabe is easy to guess at any zoo. Be interesting to see if I remember when this comes to pass. I'm sure I will with the good memory of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Don't You Know A Way There At Your Bay?

The cat didn't get any hate mail for once, instead I got an email from a dunce. At least they were nice enough. But their head may be filled with fluff.

Do you know how?
Come on and tell me
You just wow,
With so many books at your sea.

You must know a trick.
One that I can use.
I want sales some slick.
How can I light that fuse?

There must be a secret I don't know.
Can you share with me?
My sales aren't even so so.
Will you help for no fee?

Come and tell me now.
I know that you know.
Your sales must wow.
They can't be low.

I will be really grateful to you.
I'll be so very much.
Tell me at my zoo,
And I'll keep in touch.

Pfffft says the cat.
I hit the big delete.
Not gonna chew the fat,
With someone on repeat.

Said the same damn thing,
50 different ways.
That email ring,
Was like trying to get through a maze.

And yeah, I sell a ton.
Pfffft and I'm Santa Claus too.
But don't tell anyone.
I'll get too many letters at my zoo.

But if you really must know,
And I know you really must.
Even if now whoever you are turns into a foe,
These words you can trust.

No magic out there.
Not a single bit.
Have to work and work some more at your lair,
Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.

Any nuts asking you for a magic trick? Do you hit delete with a click? If looking for actual advice the cat can share, but pffft to the magic crap at ones lair. The cat just had to clear that up. It was like reading an email from a pup. I'd rather get one from King Abubu saying his fortune is coming to my zoo. Now the cat shall await any sass. I always enjoy that when sent to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 9, 2016

A Human Troop Through A Hoop!

The cat has seen you humans train dogs to jump through hoops. Even some cats have done the hoop loops. Do you know why you do this? It is not to entertain or cause bliss.

Look at you,
The human crew.
Able to train,
Think it's a gain.

But nope, not it.
Not one bit.
Just your ego at play,
At the end of the day.

Thinking you are more.
No hoops at your shore.
You don't jump at all.
Nope, not at your hall.

Want that promotion?
Don't want a demotion?
Guess what you do?
Jump through hoops on cue.

Want that win?
Do all others in.
Yes you train,
Hoop jumping each lane.

Need a loan?
Hold the phone.
You jump through a ton.
Isn't paperwork fun?

Hold the phone?
To hear a dial tone?
Why would you hold a phone?
That bored when alone?

Where was I?
I knew on the fly.
But I was asking you?
Hop the the hoop on cue.

One foot, two foot,
Can't say put put.
Put put or putt putt?
Go ask a mutt.

Look at you.
A hoop jumper too.
Proof in the hoop.
A hoop jumping troop.

Did you hop on through? Still think you don't jump through hoops at your zoo? At least a mutt only does a real one. You humans jump through hoops you can't even see under any sun. That is right, there is more than one sun in sight. Hmmm maybe that was just a ball of my gas? It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

No Matter What At A Family Hut!

The cat argued the other day, we'll more or less had his say and then walked away. I had no time to sit and play. I did have time, but I'd rather rhyme. Okay, no more contradicting at my sea. On with it from little old me.

No matter what,
From hut to hut,
Help family out.
That is the shout.

Help them in need.
Help them buy weed.
Help them with money.
Help make all sunny.

Not just spouse and kids,
Or parents that flip their lids,
Nope, siblings and extended relatives too.
Need to help them all at your zoo.

Can't not help out.
God will shout.
You will go to hell.
That won't be swell.

Yep, used that.
Pffft says the cat.
At least I'll be warm,
And there won't be a snow storm.

And as for the rest.
Pfffft also passes the test.
No friggin way.
I'd have to consider saving so called relatives who were drowning in the bay.

Wow, got wordy there.
But then you don't care.
Those close you do and do,
But the rest can shoo.

Like the leech,
With a hand always in reach.
The lazy bum,
Who grabs every bread crumb.

The whiny nut,
Always something wrong at their hut.
The all about me,
On them the cat shall pee.

And all the rest.
Screw the helping fest.
I'll help those who deserve it,
Family or not, the rest can go spit.

Up for helping every relative at your sea? Even the bums, if you have any, and their bumming spree? Yeah, we cut many limbs off the tree. So pffft, they will never get help from me. Some, family or not, you have to cut ties or they'll swarm you like flies. That was today's sass from my not so helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

The I Don't Know Assumes As You Go!

The cat sees it here and there and has even bought into at his lair. Sometimes we just assume that one is right or wrong and life moves along.

I don't know,
So you are right.
Look at your glow,
Your idea has bite.

I don't know,
So you are wrong.
You are now a foe,
We can't get along.

The I don't know,
Sure has a flow.
Can create a foe,
Which ever way the wind may blow.

A friend too,
If the wind blows the right way.
Oh what can come due,
If I went to the gutter to play.

Anyway, assume that or this.
I assume Betsy will find that wrong.
I'm right with my wrong hiss?
Care to just sing along?

I don't know.
But he does know.
So now I know.
In the know I go.

I know I cheated.
But I don't care.
I can't be defeated.
Here is some cat hair.

I assume you know,
That it can't be done.
No cat hair through screens will show,
I said it just for fun.

But now you know.
Now you can see.
Or away you can go,
Disappointed you'll get no cat hair from me.

Do you go right or wrong,
When the I don't know shows?
Are you one to play along,
Or stick up your nose?

Assuming one is right is never a good thing, doesn't matter who they are at your wing. Agreeing or disagreeing just because will make your brain end up full of fuzz. It may be better not to know if they are full of crap. So we should assume not to fall in any trap. Now I will go assume I have gas and pass it out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Never Too Late To Learn Feels The Burn!

The cat has heard it said and he just shakes his head. Never too late to learn you say? I think we can prove that wrong here today. Don't believe little old me? You just want and see.

Never to late to learn,
It seems to always return.
It comes back,
Like fleas to a pack.

A pack of mutts,
That are in ruts.
Did I compare you to mutts?
Oopsy, a punch to the guts?

Hey, wasn't too late there.
Did it with time to spare.
Am I too late on the too late?
Nope, 7 to go at my gate.

7 what you ask?
Now 6 with my task.
My task to fit ten.
Notice that at my den?

You do now.
And holy cow!
You learned again.
Hmm backwards at my den?

Whoops, can't prove that.
Not to be done by the cat.
We need to make it burn.
So here we take a u-turn.

Head in the fire,
You burn and expire.
Whoopsy, too late to learn fire bad.
See, proved it at my pad.

Jumping from rooftops makes you go splat.
Proved twice by the cat.
How and why?
It's because you thought you could fly.

A finger in the socket,
Sure is outdone by a pocket.
Stick it in there and you fry.
Never learned as you did die.

I could go on and on.
Never say never with your con.
The cat shall prove you wrong.
Never count out Donkey Kong.

Hmmm, just threw the last line in. Hey, it popped in at my bin. Still think it is never too late to learn after my little u-turn? The cat proved it with ease. It was quite the breeze. And you even learned too. Score for my zoo. Now I am done teaching class and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Schmuck That Quacks Like A Duck!

You have probably heard it a time or two. You could make 100K a year doing such and such at your zoo. Or some other sum that is large. It is usually shouted by the nut in charge.

You could make a ton.
100K with a yearly run.
Come and join our crew.
100K may be in view.

Pffft to you.
Whether 100, 250, or 50K at ones zoo,
You are full of crap,
With what you flap.

Sure, you could.
Not saying you would,
But you could.
Your lingo is understood.

The bum on the street corner could.
Just needs enough cans in their hood.
A garbage man could too.
Maybe finds cash thrown away from some zoo.

A thief could as well.
They may get damned to hell.
But they could steal.
Hey, it's still work to go through such an ordeal.

The lotto ticket buyer,
Could reach even higher.
Chances aren't great,
But 100K could easily be on their plate.

The inventor in his cave,
May be crazy with a rant and rave,
But he could as well.
Ringing that 100K bell.

The poor pitiful me,
With some sappy story about falling from a tree,
Can get 100K on gofundme.
Easy as can be.

A cat could make it.
Have some grumpy fit.
Boom, 100K is in hand.
Isn't life grand?

Anyone could.
Not that anyone would.
But anyone could.
So shove it at your hood.

Could you make 100K this year? That would sure bring cheer. Hey, you could. Not saying you will in your hood. But you could. Is the could understood? The cat will now go eat some grass which could cause $100 bills to come out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

An Insecure Tire? Set It On Fire!


Did you know,
At your show,
That a did you know,
Can provide you with info?

Redundant there?
I'm well aware.
But are you?
Maybe not at your zoo.

Insecurity comes back.
It likes to attack.
It can never lack.
Away it shall hack.

But it's full of hot air.
The kind that likes to blare.
You know, like Flappy.
That nutcase can get yappy.

 Much like a tire,
It won't expire.
At least until it's played out,
With its insecure shout.

And much like a tire,
It can be set on fire.
Burn some rubber.
Maybe do it shaking like Flubber?

That may take blubber.
Avast yee land lubber?
That just popped in.
Hey, a sword can do a tire in.

So can a screw.
It gives a hole to you.
You get screwed.
Not in a fun way, how rude.

It can be changed.
Easily rearranged.
Easier than a tire too.
No car jack needed at your zoo.

So when insecurity creeps in,
Take it for a spin.
Burn some rubber.
Walk the plank with the land lubber.

Now you aren't insecure anymore, right? All thanks to my site. No need to thank the cat. I never tire where I'm at. Round and round the cat shall go. Maybe could use a few new parts at our show. But the tires still work. That is a perk. Now I'll retire to the grass where I'll roll around on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

A Writer Ghost From Coast To Coast!

Casper seems to be out and about. Hmm, that may be another shout. People are ripping off Casper from sea to sea. Writing and being as happy as can be.

I can't write.
Not a bit.
Day or night,
It turns out shit.

But I want to.
I want to be known.
I want my name in view,
Throw a dog a bone.

I've got it.
I'll hire someone.
They can write every bit,
And I can say I had it done.

James Patterson can do it.
He still gets rich.
So with someone else writing a hit,
It will go off without a hitch.

I have no ideas at all.
This stuff is rough.
Can I buy that at my hall?
Yep, I can buy that stuff.

Bought an idea or two.
I bought a ghostwriter too.
Now the book will come due,
And I'll be in public view.

It was all me.
All me I say.
I paid a fee,
To have it that way.

You'll never know.
Not one bit.
My name continues to show,
So I wrote it.

What? It never sold?
It wasn't a hit?
But my name is in bold?
I must have hired a twit.

I'll hire a new one.
This sure is fun.
I can write a ton,
Just delegate out every one.

Articles and non fiction are a different story, but how can one brag about a ghostwritten story in all their glory? I'd feel dirty putting my name on something I didn't do. Well maybe not ocd dirty but you get the picture at your zoo. Ever consider ghostwriting at your sea? Ever cheat and have it done for thee? Could work for a pen name I suppose. Alright for pen names to sink to new lows. I'll stick to my own writing in mass. I wouldn't want anyone else to rhyme for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 2, 2016

The Digital Way Or Hard Copy Still On Display?

The cat has seen the argument here and there with plenty of things shouted out to spare. Some say digital is the way and others hard copies at their bay. Whether that be movie or book all are stuck at their nook.

Digital is the best,
It beats all the rest.
Nope, hard copy is the way,
Then I can always read or play.

With digital it may get lost.
Who cares about the cost.
Amazon or Apple may go down.
Or they may leave town.

Pffft if Amazon or Apple dies,
You'll probably end up eating flies.
For the world will have gone to shit.
So I don't buy that one bit.

I own the blu ray.
It is hear to stay.
It is all mine.
That is so divine.

Pfft once more.
You own nothing at your shore.
Well, you own the right to watch it.
But that is all with each hit.

Digital can't be gotten all in one place.
It makes it hard to embrace.
Where as movies can sit on the shelf.
Also can be given my santa's elf.

Well that is true.
Pain in the ass in view.
Having them in 3 separate spots,
Can sure suck lots.

My internet may go down.
That will make me frown.
It means I can't see what I want.
It will just sit and taunt.

Oh no!
Your internet went down for an hour or so.
Dial 911 at your sea.
It's the end of the world for thee.

There will always be a way,
For you to go and hit play.
Unless the world goes to shit.
Then you'd have no electricity anyway to play it.

I guess with books you wouldn't need electricity unless it was night. Which side are you on with the plight? I was hard copy for the longest while but what is that point now with so many a dial? Not like you need them taking up tons of space and if you need to watch something there is always a way to embrace. Unless your internet sucks worse than the cat's gas. Then you may want to stay physical like my actual little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Be There In Five If I Survive!

You humans sure get stuck on certain minutes at your sea. Has that ever been noticed by thee? If not then the cat may have lost you already. Don't worry, I'll catch you up as I rhyme steady.

Be home in ten.
Shouted at your den.
You make it in eight,
As you drive through the gate.

Be there in five,
You say at your hive.
You are there in six.
Maybe just for kicks.

See you in fifteen,
You sound so serene.
You are there in nine.
Lying to the feline?

Take me ten minutes to get there.
You lie again at your lair.
Only took you seven.
Is this some decree from Heaven?

Did you fail math?
Brains take a bath?
They come out your ears?
Do you have other number fears?

What happened to four?
Did it go on tour?
Did six get the boot?
Was five just a big brute?

Did eleven run off?
Maybe twelve decided to scoff.
It beats little old me.
Maybe we just can't overwhelm thee.

You have to stay whelmed each day,
So five or ten is all you can say.
Maybe throw in a fifteen.
Hey, you may have to stay home and clean.

You need that extra bit.
Or you could just say umm duck it.
Say you'll be there soon.
Soon equals anything before noon.

You sure jive,
With ten or five.
Neglecting poor nine.
So mean says the feline.

Now do you notice what you do? You all lie at your zoo. You may say five or ten but you usually never get there in that time at your den. Then you make the cat sit and wait. Waiting the cat will always hate. I'll be back in seven though, just so you know. Or would that be at seven the next day? Hey, I have to cause a little dismay. Enjoy ignoring the other numbers in mass, I'll see you in four, three, six, whatever, with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.